Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What events are mentioned at the beginning of the podcast?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to Kill Tony here at Death Squad. Please check out me and Tony in Phoenix, Arizona, September 26th. It's a Thursday at Stand Up Live. You can go to StandUpLive.com or go to DeathSquad.tv.
This is our first time going to Phoenix as Death Squad, and we'd love for you guys to come out so we can prove to this comedy show that we can bring Death Squad there all the time with a bunch of new comics.
Also, the following day, Friday, September 27th, me and Tony are flying to Ohio, and we'll be doing a show at the Woodlands Tavern, and that's going to be with Tom Segura and Christina Pijitski of Your Mom's House. So it's going to be a huge super show of four comics. It's going to be awesome.
You can go to DeathSquad.tv for all the ticket links, including this Kill Tony, which is every Monday at 8 p.m. at the Comedy Store. It's free, and it's followed by the Ding Dong Show, which is also free at 10 p.m. Also, check out the ShopSquad.tv website. That's where Death Squad sells our Kitty Kat t-shirt. It's limited edition. Again, that's ShopSquad.tv.
And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Band coming to you live from the Comedy Store. How are you guys doing tonight? This is a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe.
Boom. Here we are. Welcome, everybody. How are you?
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Chapter 2: What kind of comedy shows are planned in Phoenix and Ohio?
It's another big pack crowd tonight. Josh Martin's here. How are you, buddy?
Great. I'm doing good. We were just talking before, like, what happened this week, and we really can't recall this week.
It's just a very normal weekend, you know? We just did a bunch of spots, podcasted. You know, we just did what we do.
normal stuff, drank too much, cried at the comedy. I guess I cried at the comedy. One of those nights where I did a podcast called Dysentery, and it's pretty much where we just get really, really wasted throughout the podcast, me and a couple girls. I'm talking like a whole bottle of tequila, a couple beers, shots of, it's just a horrible mess.
And somehow I ended up here, and I guess I was crying. People are coming up to me telling these stories of shit I said. I guess I was going up to girls that I know, that I would never do this with, and just whispering in their ears going, let's go to San Francisco and fuck.
That's the craziest pickup line I've ever heard in my life. Why San Francisco? I know. That makes no sense at all.
I don't understand.
That's really weird. What does that mean? Is that some kind of term? Like, hey, baby, let's go to San Francisco. I don't know what that means. That makes no sense at all. It seems like some kind of dirty sexual maneuver.
Right. I just wonder if I made a joke up earlier and I thought everyone heard it and I forgot and that's why I was saying that. Right. Because that makes no sense. But I'm so embarrassed. It's one of those nights that you're like, shit, I'm not going to drink tomorrow.
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Chapter 3: What emotional experiences do the hosts share about their week?
So...
So do you think it's going to end though with like the last episode where like, what? They're all dreaming.
Absolutely not. You know why? Because Vince Gilligan's too badass for that. JJ Abrams did that. I have respect for him, but you know, there's also other forces that be powers that be.
But how many series ever ends and you're like, wow, that was awesome. Like what they did at Seinfeld where they're all quiet in jail. That was amazing. That was a bad one. Yeah, or lost.
The Sopranos is an interesting one.
Sopranos even, though. It's like, come on. We need to know what happened there.
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Chapter 4: How does the discussion shift to personal anecdotes and reflections?
But they tell you what happened. It's wrong what they did in the way that they made it so that like – Only people that are really fucking paying attention can see what happens there. But I watched the whole thing on it. It's really interesting. And the way that it works is, how many people here have seen the last episode of Sopranos? Okay, that's a good enough amount to talk about it.
But he's sitting in the booth and he's looking at the door. And you're looking at him and the door thing rings and he looks at who's in the door and the camera goes from where he's sitting. Right.
Right.
This is a thing that happens over and over again. More people keep coming in and then you go from his vision. And the thing is, is that on that last one, you watch the guy go. Everything hints that that guy that went in the bathroom that's coming back out is going to kill him. And that's on purpose, too. That's not to trick you. That's to let you know what the fuck's happening in the scene.
There's a reason. Everything else has a reason. So that would, too. And then on the final one, when Meadow's coming in late or something like that, he looks up again. And that's when it goes blank. But it would be from his angle. And at that point, that guy's coming out. So you know that he got shot in the head.
Oh. Or they were going to wait five more years, make a Soprano movie, and the guy behind him misses and shoots the daughter in the shoulder.
There's nobody had Gandolfini living for five years. Nobody. And if you thought he was going to survive that long, you obviously don't have any Italian friends with an Italian family that's just eating cheese and drinking milk because that's what they do. And pasta. I mean, the tomato sauce is the healthiest thing Italians eat. And that's not even really, that's got shit in it.
It's crazy. You know, so if you guys have seen the show before, we have this gentleman over here.
Of course, our head of security.
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Chapter 5: What humorous scenarios are presented involving prison and accents?
Two men alone and naked in the forest. Gump.
There he goes, everybody. Jared Campbell.
That's Q-U-A-Y. Somebody gave me a DVD earlier.
Chapter 6: How do the comedians discuss the concept of being blacklisted?
That's interesting. We'll talk about that later. Put your hands together for Emily Rose. Emily Rose, let her hear it! Is that a real person? That's also the name of a porn actor. Is there an Emily Rose here? Oh, snap. Somebody has terrible handwriting. Wait. Who has the worst handwriting here? Does your last name begin with an R? Are you a doctor? What's your excuse? What's your name?
No, that's definitely not you. But I like that you admitted it could be that fucked up. No, it's Steve Davidson, but I don't even know, man. Right.
So that means she is blacklisted.
And when somebody gets blacklisted here, we say they get blacklisted, and they're...
Boom.
Boom. That's when the Patriot makes a bunch of sounds and that person is blacklisted.
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Chapter 7: What insights are shared about the challenges of stand-up comedy?
And for this person, double blacklisted for having the worst handwriting I've ever seen. I feel like you forget the people you blacklist immediately.
And if you're hot, Emily, we could talk about it after the show. It's a different stack.
The fact that she's a girl means she's already sort of not blacklisted, let's be honest.
Soft-handed, you're in.
Is there any Emily here? Who leaves? Didn't want to follow heat? This person sounds truly outrageous. Put your hands together for Jem. Mike,
Hello. My name is Jim. That's G-E-M. I like to travel. And anybody here lived abroad ever? I lived abroad in England, in London, England. Yeah, yeah. I lived there for 48 months. The last 35 months was in prison. Yeah, yeah. They don't like it when you come over there and you buy a bunch of methylene-dioxymethylamphetamine and then sell it to the Scottish guys. They're not a fan, you know?
It was readily prevalent, though, readily prevalent. But I had to call my father from prison. And for some reason, it went like this. Father, I'm having a spot of father. I've been nicked, father. I'm at Her Majesty's pleasure, Wandsworth, father.
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Chapter 8: How does the discussion shift to the experiences of women in comedy?
And for some reason, my dad responded with an English accent as well. And he just said, bloody hell. All right. My name is Jim. Thank you. Give it up.
Readily prevalent doesn't make sense. Yeah. Because if something's prevalent, that means it's like, or I don't think you need both. Yeah. It's either readily available. Or it's prevalent. Or it's prevalent. I got you. No wonder Emily left. Oh, come on. Burn. Burn. Facial disgracial. Boom. So the crux of this joke is the accents. It was really like 60 seconds of drama. Yeah.
And then you did an accent at the end. Sort of you surmised an episode of Lock Up Abroad. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. And then in the end you're all like, doopity doopity. Yeah.
That was a pretty accurate impression of me. Thank you.
Doopity doopity. What the fuck? Doopity doopity.
Tripoli said I'd do something about the prison. That's where that came up.
To me, I guess there's something interesting about the notion of are people in British prison more polite? Or is it that you think they're going to be polite and it's just when they rape you, you get tea? I don't know.
You do get tea. They make sure you have tea. Do you have tea every day? Is there a legit tea time in jail? They bring you water for tea every night. They do. And if you're mad at somebody, you fill it with sugar and then pour it on them, and then that scalds them dramatically. Wow. Sugar.
Did you ever see that happen to somebody? Were you surrounded by, like, soccer hooligans? A lot of that?
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