This week, Kristin and I answer listener comments about colonoscopy prep, including a truly cursed diet of mashed white vegetables and learn about Cologuard, the screening test where you… mail your poop. Through the actual mail. To a stranger. We also dive into the ongoing household war known as “Kristin Won’t Stop Sleeping in Her Contacts,” which leads to a horrifying discussion about wrinkly eyeballs, saggy conjunctiva, and what happens when an eyelash embeds itself in your eyelid gland and starts scraping your cornea. Delightful. Then we get to my new favorite segment: diagnosing cartoon characters. This week we tackle Goofy, who very clearly has a mild form of cyclopia, and debate whether his son Max avoided the gene… or if Goofy needs to have some questions answered at home. We even break down why large eyeballs mean myopia, why Edna Mode is basically a hyperopic queen, and the extremely nerdy world of axial length. Finally, we open the First Aid book and Kristen learns what an Apgar score actually measures and no, it’s not “how cute the baby is,” and no, the Babinski is not part of it either. It’s New Year’s nostalgia, poop-mailing, cartoon diseases, eye crimes, and newborn scoring systems, basically, a classic Knock Knock Hi episode. Takeaways: The Great New Year’s Trick: How to convince your small children midnight arrives at 9 PM. Colonoscopy Diet Horror: Boiled pale root vegetables, no grains, no legumes, no joy. Eye Crimes: Saggy conjunctiva, wrinkly eyeballs, embedded eyelashes, and the marital tension of sleeping in contacts. Goofy Has Cyclopia: A shockingly thorough medical analysis of cartoon genetics (plus: what’s up with Max?). Apgar Breakdown: The real meaning of appearance, pulse, grimace, activity, and respiration and why Kristen’s “toe swipe” theory was… not Apgar. — To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected] Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/ If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken If you want more information on models I use: Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact. For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15 -- A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. Today’s episode is brought to you by Microsoft Dragon Copilot. Dragon Copilot is an AI clinical assistant that streamlines documentation, surfaces critical information, and automates routine tasks — empowering healthcare teams to focus more on patients and less on administrative work. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠https://glau.cc/Dragon⁠⁠⁠ Produced by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Human Content⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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