I started this week by crying with the internet and ended it by confiscating eye drops from unsuspecting patients, which is honestly peak ophthalmologist behavior. In this episode, I walk through a mystery case that showed up in my clinic (spoiler: droopy eyelids are rarely simple), explain why “clear eyes” doesn’t actually mean clear eyes, and rant about fake homeopathic drops pretending to treat pink eye. I also reflect on what it’s like to head to Australia and tell a room full of surgeons why they absolutely should not copy our U.S. healthcare system. Oh—and there's a guy with a literal flashlight eye prosthesis, and I think I’m in love. Takeaways: Your Redness Relief Eye Drops Are Lying to You. If I took your bottle of Visine away, it’s because I like you—and I want you to stop putting menthol-laced lies directly onto your corneas. Droopy Eyelid? Might Be Nothing. Might Be Neurology. One eyelid. One confusing pupil. Zero time to guess wrong. This one kept me thinking longer than it should’ve. Homeopathic Eye Drops: Tap Water with a Fancy Label. Just because it sounds gentle doesn’t mean it works. And yes, I have an actual drawer of confiscated drops at work. I’m Telling the Australians Everything. They asked me to talk about U.S. healthcare. I packed my "No UnitedHealthcare" scrub cap. Pray for them. The Flashlight Eye Prosthesis Changed My Life. This guy engineered a Terminator-style prosthetic that literally lights up—and somehow, that was not even the weirdest part of my week. — To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected] Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠ Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/ If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken If you want more information on models I use: Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact. For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15 -- A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠ for more information. Today’s episode is brought to you by DAX Copilot from Microsoft. DAX Copilot is your AI assistant for automating clinical documentation and workflows helping you be more efficient and reduce the administrative burdens that cause us to feel overwhelmed and burnt out. To learn more about how DAX Copilot can help improve healthcare experiences for both you and your patients visit ⁠⁠aka.ms/knockknockhi⁠⁠. To learn more about Pearson Ravitz go to ⁠http://www.pearsonravitz.com/knockknock⁠. Produced by⁠⁠ Human Content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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