Put down the hospital cafeteria coffee because today I am diving into a "barbaric" problem in American hospitals that I can't believe I haven't addressed yet: ED Boarding. I’m talking to you like a med student in the trenches to explain why patients are stacking up in hallways for days and why it’s not because we’ve run out of beds, but because the incentives of hospital administration and insurance companies are fundamentally broken. Later, we’re tackling the new Netflix documentary Caterpillar about eye color change surgery. I’ll break down the "laser-guided" sales pitch for keratopigmentation and why injecting ink into your clear cornea is an ethical nightmare that can lead to permanent inflammation, infections, and "unnatural" results. We wrap up with a terrifying masquerade syndrome: a cancer that looks exactly like a common stye until it starts making your eyelashes fall out. Takeaways: The Boarding Crisis: Why hospitals "concentrate the unhappy" in the ER to keep their inpatient satisfaction scores high elsewhere. The Profit Filter: How the aging Medicare population is treated as a "non-profitable" nuisance compared to high-margin outpatient surgeries. Iris Implants vs. Tattoos: The mechanical reason silicone discs are failing and why "eye tattoos" are actually just a layer of ink trapped in your cornea. The "Spontaneous" Color Myth: Why you should be wary of any surgeon claiming they can "naturally" change your eye color. The Masquerade Cancer: How Sebaceous Cell Carcinoma fools doctors for years by pretending to be a run-of-the-mill eyelid bump. To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected] Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you want more information on models I use: Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact. For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15 -- A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. Go to Cozy Earth now for a Buy One Get One Free Pajama Offer from 1/25-2/8! Yes, go to cozyearth.com they are doing a BOGO pajama promo. Just use my Code: KNOCKKNOCKBOGO Produced by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Human Content⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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