Side Stories: Cannibal Cats & Dubious Dogs
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What are the biggest stories in true crime this week?
there's no place to escape to this is the lost podcast on the left side stories that's when the cannibalism started side stories yes
Yeah. But Julie and I, we had a nice collective outing last night. We both enjoyed ourselves and went and saw the Mandalorian and Grogu movie. Oh, wow. So you went on a date. That's really nice. We went to Guisado's and we got our tacos. I love Guisado's. Thank God. Also, I want to say thank you so much for supporting like small IPs, people just making stuff out there that are just trying to make. It's literally small IPs because he's so tiny. He's adorable. You would actually really like this movie. No spoilers, but I was surprised on how graphic it was. What do you mean? I mean, he tries to suck his own dick. Are you serious? Yeah. Grogu.
How is Joey Chestnut defending his hot dog title while on probation?
Are you fucking serious? Yeah, Grogu fucking tries to blow himself. Is that real? Halfway through the movie. Yeah, it's real. You got to go see it. I'm looking it up. It's not going to have the spoiler. You can't look that up. Is it true? You have to go to AMC. Actually, no, I think you should go to an independent theater. Tries to suck its own piss. It's okay because he's not a child. Did you know that? No, we know that. We covered this. Yeah, he's 50. No, we know. We covered this. He can suck his own dick if he wants to. Says no, that is not true. Oh, come on. AI's fucking sham. 60% wrong and misses the proof.
What happened with the Nebraska dog that shot a woman?
It says right here. The proof is in his own pudding. According to Google AI, it says, no, that is not true. What does Google AI really say? It says, no, that is not true. Grogu, often referred to as Baby Yoda from The Mandalorian, does not exhibit any such behavior. He's an infant character in the Star Wars universe whose actions are strictly limited to innocence. childlike behaviors, like using the force, napping, and eating things. Using the force is not an innocent childlike behavior. That's according to Google AI. That is not an innocent childlike behavior. You could fucking kill. He rips things to shreds. Any claims or memes suggesting otherwise are entirely fabricated by internet users. So what did I watch?
I think you watched straight up gay pornography. i think everyone should go to rush to the theater before they cut this out oh yeah because that's the thing because like because this is the censors this was isn't this the what's his name this is the abel ferrara cut which is the what's his name who did blue is the warmest color i feel like it's he didn't he get it isn't he doing a star wars movie isn't the guy from blue is the warmest color isn't he gonna do something with chewbacca Where they have open vaginas? Am I wrong, Rob? I don't think so. What's the buzz on that? Imagine they just shave Chewbacca and he's got huge fucking tits. Nothing. Oh, my. Imagine. How likable would Chewbacca be with tits?
A Q score? Oh, my God.
All the way up. Q score all the way up. Bye, Slave Leia. You got caught. I like free ass, big titted, naked, shorn Chewbacca.
Welcome to Side Stories. I'm really glad Eddie did the bit. Eddie said, I have this bit. You always go first. I do, and I'm happy. I wanted to talk about Grogu. I couldn't. I couldn't. I was like, guys, this is a lot. Yes. This is a lot. And then like four minutes into the self-fulatio, it gets entertaining. Why? Because he's like on a slippery surface? At first you're looking around, you're like, oh, why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? This is fucked up. And then you're like... This is artistic. He did grow up a lot. It's a choice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How does China's new AI Pet Translator work?
He really did.
He grew up quite a bit. I'm sitting here with curious Star Wars fan, Ed Larson. You ever try to blow yourself when you were a kid? No, because... I don't believe that for a second. No, because I've never... This is... We've covered this on Roundtable. We've covered this all over the years. I don't remember Roundtable. I'm just saying, all over the... For the years, I've never been compelled to want to suck my own penis because I've never wanted to suck a penis. Okay. Even if it's your own? Especially if it's my own. I never tried because I know I'm not flexible.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What are the biggest stories in true crime this week?
0:01–1:08
2
How is Joey Chestnut defending his hot dog title while on probation?
1:08–1:42
3
What happened with the Nebraska dog that shot a woman?
1:42–3:57
4
How does China's new AI Pet Translator work?
3:57–5:22
5
What schemes are shady Sherpas running around Everest?
5:22–7:33
6
What led to the Tom Selleck catfish incident and its tragic outcome?
7:33–9:30
7
What insights do listeners share in the email segment?
9:30–11:34
8
What unusual behaviors are exhibited by the cannibal cat discussed?
11:34–1:05:40