Side Stories: Nude Food

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Last Podcast On The Left 1h 5m 2 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What bizarre story opens the episode and sets the tone?

Unknown 0:01
There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started.
Henry Zebrowski 0:12
Side stories.
Unknown 0:13
Yes.
Henry Zebrowski 0:20
Have you ever thought about getting like larger maniacs? No, can't handle them. No. The thing about having a tiny maniac is kind of the reason why I have two undisciplined tiny dogs. It's true. And the fact that I, yes, they are, they probably could use more training. But I like the fact that they only like me. I actually like that they only like me. They like me. Yeah, no, but I mean, I'm just saying that they don't like society. No, they don't like society. But I like that about them. I like that they're right at Achilles tendon height. But, you know, like, so are the Muyun brothers. And the Muyun brothers, they use their lives, I believe, to fight against, I want to say, Chairman Mao? Yeah. Where is he at?
Henry Zebrowski 1:07
Where are they at? Mao? I think Mao's gone. Yeah, it's Z now. Oh, yeah, that's right. All the way down to the end of the alphabet. All the way from Mao to Z. Wow, that is crazy. The Muyun brothers, they really got to do something about that. We can flop them over. But in other news, Eddie. What other news? I heard, I don't know if we hear, if you heard. Oh, I don't know. Hi, hi. Come closer. Oh. Come closer to Mitch. Oh, hello. Come closer to me, my Asian wife. Ah. My little Asian wife. Oh.
Eddie 1:40
Oh, you look so good. You look so healthy.
Henry Zebrowski 1:45
Quit lying to me, bitch.
Eddie 1:45
Are you coming out of your mouth again?
Henry Zebrowski 1:47
Quit lying to me, bitch.
Eddie 1:48
Oh. I gotta tell you something. I can't believe how strong you are.
Ed Larson 1:51
Quick, shush. Shush your little Asian mouth.
Eddie 1:54
Someone superglued this plug to the outlet.
Ed Larson 1:57
Shush your little Asian mouth.
Eddie 1:58
I can't get the plug out.
Ed Larson 1:59
No, wait, no, wait. I gotta tell you something.
Henry Zebrowski 2:02
I got to say, I went beyond the veil, my little Asian princess.
Unknown 2:05
Okay.
Henry Zebrowski 2:06
And I saw something I cannot unsee.
Unknown 2:08
Was it my mouth?
Henry Zebrowski 2:10
No, I wish I could tell you.
Unknown 2:11
Was it my pussy?
Henry Zebrowski 2:13
You have to write this down before I pass, before my votes are needed. I've got to die. I've got to die soon. Don't ask me how I know.
Eddie 2:23
I'm Mitch McConnell.
Henry Zebrowski 2:24
Yes, you're doing good, my little Asian wife, my little beautiful porcelain doll. I just want you to know. OJ is innocent.
Ed Larson 2:35
OJ.
Henry Zebrowski 2:36
I saw it on the other side of the veil. I did not know.
Ed Larson 2:38
We got to tell the world. Was he in heaven? No. OJ was in heaven? Well, yes, of course he's in heaven. Everyone's in heaven. Say hi to Lindsey Graham for me.
Henry Zebrowski 2:47
Oh, I didn't see him. You didn't see him? No, they put him in the gay area.
Unknown 2:52
Oh.
Henry Zebrowski 2:53
He's over in the gay... Gay heaven area.
Unknown 2:56
I bet it's nicer there. I bet it's going to be gentrified.
Henry Zebrowski 2:58
Now shut up, my Asian wife. Just take my secret and spread it to the world.
Ed Larson 3:02
Okay.
Henry Zebrowski 3:03
Spread my secret to the world. O.J. was innocent! O.J. was innocent! That lady's saying something I'd like to hear. Mitch?
Eddie 3:13
Mitch? Mitchell? No! He's still alive. He's going to be voting today.
Henry Zebrowski 3:19
He's going strong. We want to say welcome to Side Stories. Congratulations to Mitch McConnell. Each new proof of life picture. You just look younger. You're just looking younger and better. God, you're vivacious. It's like I'm looking at Carmen Electra. Is that really the new picture? Yes. It's exactly the same picture with a different shirt. No, he slightly leaned forward. Look how actionable he is.
Unknown 3:44
Oh, my God.
Henry Zebrowski 3:45
I'm Henry Zabrowski, and we're here at Side Stories or on Death Watch. I'm sitting here with my favorite guy to sit and wait and watch for Senator to die with, Ed Larson. I can't wait. What I like about him is he's so worm-shaped. You won't actually have to dig him into the ground. He just gets to slide in. It's actually going to be really nice. If you cut off his head, it just grows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is truly one of the ones. That's currently what is alive. It's happened a couple times already. In order to save the head, they had to release the head from his corpse. So they released it from his corpsicle. Now he's just a head and spine, I believe. And they are, but he does believe that that is enough for him to vote on continuing the war in Iran.
Henry Zebrowski 4:33
Yeah, he's going to show up to the voting today with his head and he's got little spider legs.

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