THE ROUTINE PARADOX: Why autistic brains feel safe with structure and ADHD brains feel trapped by it
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En oikein usko vieläkään, että meille tulee kaksoset. Me tarvitaan vauvoille kaikkea nyt kaks. Rattaat? Itse asiassa ei. Hankitaan tuplavaunut. Ah, miten pinnasänky? Entäs syöttötuoli? Omat huonet ja ajokortit? Kaikkea tarvitaan toinen mokoma. Jep. Elämän eri käänteistä tilanteet ja talouden tarpeet saattavat muuttua. Muista, että lainaaminen maksaa. Siksi lainojen vertaileminen ja yhdistäminen kannattaa. Laina-asiantuntija sinun puolellasi. Kaikkea on!
Why do autistic people love routine and why do ADHD people hate it? We're going to try and figure that out today in the routine paradox.
Welcome to the late bloomers podcast, where we are getting our lives together.
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Don't think it's fair to say ADHD people hate routine. Like disclaimer, because I would love if I loved routine. I try and start new routines all the time. I'm just terrible at it.
Well, no, I don't think it's you would love if you love routines. I do think you love routines. You just have an inability to stick to routines.
You
need it. You have a desperate need for routine, but just can't do it.
Brutal. So do you want to tell us why as a gorgeous autistic man? I don't know
about gorgeous.
I do. Why do you love routines so much?
Yeah. Okay. So there's three points mainly, but let me just caveat the whole thing with, I just feel, ah, it's so like, it's everything. Routine is everything. Like we've been starting this year. We've been going a couple of months now and we've got a really good routine in the mornings and I love it so deeply. So I'm just going to start there. point number one for me it reduces uncertainty and anxiety so I feel safe I know what's happening and this could put it into perspective around why like it impacts me so bad with change it's not necessarily just I hate change it's more that I love routine and plans and knowing what's going to happen
That makes so much sense. So it's not, I can't stand this change of plan. It's I loved the plan I had. Please don't mess with it.
Yeah.
When you say reduces anxiety, what does that mean? Is it like if you didn't have a plan for the day, would you feel anxious? Like where does the anxiety show up for you?
Well, So when you say I don't have a plan for the day, that doesn't mean there needs to be activities planned out. Like my plan could be to do nothing. Like it could be to watch TV. But yeah, like I... It is an anxious feeling. I guess I like to be in control of my environment and I'm sure many people will relate to that. And then when I feel out of control, it brings anxiety. I'm not saying... I would be scared if you said, babe, can we walk left? We usually walk right.
Why do autistic people crave routine while ADHD people feel trapped by it?
Like it's not that, it's just like, yeah, I just like to know the plan is there and just, oh, best kiss. That's what it is, basically. It also saves mental energy and decision-making. So like when there's a plan, you don't need to think about that Like you need to think obviously throughout the day as all humans do, but you don't need to think about that. You know what you're doing. So my actual, what I think about then is whether the plan is coming together. Like I actively think about that. Like if we're traveling, for example, I will have, a plan and routine in place, all the steps. And there'll be a number of steps. And it'll be like, right, step one, we're in the car. Step two is parking. Step three is checking in.
Step four. And I'll be ticking them off. I'm like, yes, yes, yes, yes. All the way.
How did we ever think you were neurotypical? What's funny is, if you don't mind me saying, sometimes this intricate step plan that you have in your head, you don't communicate with the others around you. So if we deviate from the plan that you need to go 100% according to plan, but we don't know the plan, you will get quite stressed.
I will fully accept that as my toxic trait. Like I can have a full blown plan in my head, not communicate it and then have the hump when someone changes the plan that they didn't know existed. Like that is, that is a thing.
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Chapters
3 chaptersSpeakers
4 identifiedMore from LATE BLOOMERS
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