Chapter 1: What realizations did Kim and Penn have about carry-on luggage?
So I walked up to another airline's counter and I was like, get me there. Every time we do this, you're like, I just need to put a couple of things in there. I, Kim Holderness. Do solemnly swear. Do solemnly swear. Do not put any of my crap in your carry-on bag. Do not put any of my crap in your carry-on bag. Book a massage if you can. It's great for you.
But if you think you might **** your pants, don't go.
Yeah, we get older every day. Got more wrinkles, that's okay. And that's why we got land.
Hi, friends. I'm Kim Holderness. And I'm Penn Holderness. And welcome to Laugh Lines. Laugh Lines.
Chapter 2: Why should you avoid a massage if you think you might have digestive issues?
Sorry. Here, let's go just a little bit more salty. And I'm Penn Holderness. Welcome to Laugh Lines. Better? Yes. If you go on vacation and proudly do not get a tan because you're sitting under an umbrella, wearing a long sleeve one piece bathing suit, covered yourself in zinc sunscreen, you're home. I actually have a picture of myself. We recently went on vacation.
I was under the umbrella with a hat. mineral sunscreen, and a long sleeve one piece bathing suit. And somehow we're both still peeling. I know. It's just impossible. The sun always wins. The sun always wins. But listen, I pay too much money in Botox to really mess with this. Does the sun mess up Botox? Well, it's sun damage and not like what it does to your skin. And then if I'm going to pay...
money to have... Tox it up. To put botulism... A little botch piece in your forehead. I don't want it to like... You know, I want to give it a fighting chance. I got you. Yeah. Well, yeah, I looked like a I look like a white walker for most of the trip that we're going to talk about right now. Yeah. We have a fun show. I hope for you today. Some learnings from said vacay.
And yeah, we're just going to have some fun today. We don't normally talk about our vacations, but this one was unique. I think in a lot of ways. And I feel like we learned like a little bit more about ourselves and also just about vacations in general after truly unplugging for a week. This was my 50th birthday present. I didn't want a big party. I just wanted a trip.
You and I, we get to the airport to depart for said vacation. And 15 minutes before we're supposed to board our first flight, the airline cancels. They sure did. They sure did. Yeah. And they're like, don't worry, we can get you there tomorrow. And if you read the, like the kind of bill of rights, they are not responsible for paying for any money you would lose on that trip.
And so we were losing a lot of money every day. That would be, I mean, it's my 50th birthday and we'd saved our money. So I walked up to another airline's counter and I was like, get me there. But we knew that we would not have luggage. Like there was like a 0% chance our luggage would make it. So, yeah. So we did not have luggage for the first several days of the trip. Third day.
Third day we got some luggage. Which is, okay, great segue because what we're going to talk about today are our vacation realizations. Yes. That rhymes. So I feel like there should be a big, like a moving graphic for that one. Vacation realizations. And then like a sound effect. So vacation realization number one for us while we're talking about packing things.
People who pack carry-on only are in a cult. Because I put on Instagram stories like, this is not a real problem. Because our checked bags got lost. Our checked bags got lost on the way down for three days. I just was posting a funny thing because Penn had to wear the bedroom slippers they gave you at the hotel. He had to wear those around the resort because they obviously don't have a size 13.
They got me on a 30, but you know what they're going to do. I was very quick to say these are not real problems, just ha-ha, funny, funny. The amount of messages I got from people... Big carry-on? The big carry-on cult. These people are very proud that they only exclusively pack in carry-ons. And they've got their little shrink bags, and they've got their little... And they look...
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Chapter 3: What are the differences between vacation types according to Kim and Penn?
Are you, in front of God and these witnesses, willing to commit to this? Because I think we can make it work. Are we taking your vows? Yes, we are. I'm going to just... Because, like, you know, people can wear sneakers everywhere. I'm just going to bring one pair of sneakers and we'll be able to pull this off. I vow to you on this day. State your name. I... Kim Holderness. Do solemnly swear.
Do solemnly swear. Do not put any of my crap in your carry-on bag. Do not put any of my crap in your carry-on bag. For better or worse. For better or worse. In sickness and in health. In sickness and in health. In medicine kit and in shoes. Go ahead. In medicine kit and in shoes. As long as we both shall live. As long as we both shall travel. We are now married. So can I admit something, Ben?
Chapter 4: How did losing luggage impact their vacation experience?
Are you already breaking our vows? No, no, no. We got back Saturday evening before Mother's Day. They lost my bag. They couldn't find it was the drama. So I stayed at the Delta Airlines luggage counter until 2 a.m. after we landed because I was like, we need... And it was like this cute little Gen Z girl who came out of nowhere and was like, clickety-clack, she found my bag.
At that moment, I'm like, I can't do this because this has wasted hours and hours of our trip on the phone because we switched airlines and then whose fault is it? Like... so we wasted so much time. So we did spend, we saved money for this trip, but then we had to spend a lot of money for this. So this trip was not like, it was a honeymoon level type trip.
So Penn and I were like, we are not going to spend money. Like we can't spend money this, we're like, we're not spending money this summer. But I did go on Dolly Parton's internet and I searched out like the biggest, like, personal item backpack. So that is coming. Is that the thing that's in our... No, that's a different carry-on bag. Oh, so there's another bag that you purchased.
Yeah, I just feel like if I'm going to commit to the carry-on life, I need to have my carry-on tools. So I did buy bigger carry-on allotted. And they're still going to be... They are allowed to carry... Right. Because they now... The TSA now has like a dude who's like checking when you're walking through the line like... Yeah. Did you compress that thing? Because if not... Yeah, no, no, no.
I'm going to follow the rules, but I'm spending money to save money. On our layover, we had a layover in Charlotte and I knew my bag wasn't going to make it. So I went to the Spank store in Charlotte to buy underwear for myself. I just knew. I'm like, all I need is like underwear. I'll buy a bathing suit when I get there.
They did not in the Charlotte airport that I saw where the terminal where we were, they had no men's underwear. So I was like, okay, boo. And then I bought a bathing suit and just walked around with that for three days. Everyone's like, oh yeah, I know. That's Penn. There's the guy in the blue bathing suit.
Yeah, so we're carry on only.
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Chapter 5: What are the unexpected lessons learned from their vacation?
So I've got some other like vacation realizations. Would you like to hear some of them? Yeah. Okay. There's two types of vacations. Okay. There's the one that we normally take, which is full of new adventures and finding new things and like going for big hikes, working out, getting a lot of exercise, like really kind of seizing the day and making the most out of whatever situation that you're in.
Then there's the vacation where you try to set a new record for the fewest steps on your Apple Watch in one day. Yeah, that's what we did. We've never done that before. We've never. Right? And for that reason, sometimes we would get back from our vacation and be like, huh.
well, that felt a little bit like most of the other things that we do, but like the true unplugging and like we are not going to do much. How did you like that and how did you respond to that? It was hard for me. Yes, that's not normally something that you want to do. And we had a lot of discussion about this because there wasn't much, like on purpose, there wasn't much to do.
So like there wasn't a hike to take. There wasn't, like you could sit there, you could swim. And then you can sit there again. So there's just what, there weren't a lot of options. There was a gym, but that's just sad. Like, I'm just not going to go to a gym. It was a nice gym. I went there. Yeah, I was like, this is depressing me.
So I feel like it is programmed in, and I don't know if this is a generational thing. This is a very personal thing. I have trouble resting. And I felt very guilty resting there. Let's unpack that because you've talked about this before, the guilt part of it. We spent so much time talking about this.
Why do I feel like I have to be productive on a trip that's meant to celebrate 50 years of my life and the accomplishments and just celebrate getting to 50? And all the work that you've done too. That's a big part of it too. Because we work most days. Right. Period. Even weekends. Right. Doing something. Doing something. But I struggled with it.
But by the time, the day we were set to leave, then I was like, I'm ready to stay and unplug now, sir. Please. Yeah. I was like passing me a Greyhound on the way out. So I have less trouble than you doing this, but I think just because of our lives, I've done less of this. So just that real kind of like, just be a vegetable and let time slow down and let yourself be bored.
I think all those things were really good for my brain and body. Like just being able to do that. Like we would sit and not talk for incredible stretches of time, which is generally not my comfort zone. On the way down, he's like, babe, I've been practicing not talking. How did he do that?
i did i have been he's like i've been practicing not talking yeah yeah you did such a good job not talking no there was even he came out he's like a lot of energy in the morning and i was just sitting in my chair because that's all you could do and i was like babe i'm good you're at like a seven i'm gonna need you at a three just like bring it down just a little bit it was your week it was my week now i'm back to being loud
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