Lenny's Podcast: Product | Career | Growth

How to show up in any room with a low heart rate: Silicon Valley’s missing etiquette playbook | Sam Lessin

15 Jan 2026

Audio

Description

Sam Lessin is a partner at Slow Ventures, a former VP of Product at Facebook, and a two-time founder who’s now teaching etiquette to Silicon Valley’s founders. In this unconventional episode, Sam explains why proper etiquette has become a vital skill for founders in 2026—especially as technology becomes more central to society and trust becomes harder to build. His etiquette book and courses have become surprisingly popular, teaching founders how to “show up in a room with a low heart rate” and quickly build trust.We discuss:1. Why etiquette matters2. Sam’s framework for showing up confidently, with a low heart rate, in any room3. How to navigate introductions, small talk, meetings, and meals like a pro4. Simple hacks for remembering names and handling awkward social situations5. 30+ specific etiquette tips—Brought to you by:10Web—Vibe-coding platform as an APIDX—The developer intelligence platform designed by leading researchersWorkOS—Modern identity platform for B2B SaaS, free up to 1 million MAUs—Episode transcript: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/silicon-valleys-missing-etiquette-playbook—Archive of all Lenny's Podcast transcripts:https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/yxi4s2w998p1gvtpu4193/AMdNPR8AOw0lMklwtnC0TrQ?rlkey=j06x0nipoti519e0xgm23zsn9&st=ahz0fj11&dl=0—Where to find Sam Lessin:• X: https://x.com/lessin• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wlessin• Website: https://www.wlessin.com• Podcast: https://moreorlesspod.com• Lettermeme: https://lettermeme.com/lessin—Where to find Lenny:• Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com• X: https://twitter.com/lennysan• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/—In this episode, we cover:(00:00) Sam’s background(04:18) The role of etiquette in business success(09:30) Introductions and entering a room(16:20) Engaging conversations and building relationships(23:55) Hygiene and dress code essentials(33:42) Dining etiquette(37:15) Tipping etiquette(41:36) The “B&D trick”(43:05) Humor in social settings(45:18) Self-deprecating humor(47:42) Winding down conversations(49:20) Scheduling etiquette(55:23) Communication and email etiquette(01:02:28) Meeting etiquette tips(01:04:03) Virtual meeting best practices(01:05:15) The importance of cleaning up after yourself(01:05:58) Exiting and follow-up etiquette(01:07:24) Final thoughts(01:09:20) AI corner(01:11:13) Contrarian corner(01:16:25) Lightning round—Referenced:• Y Combinator: https://www.ycombinator.com• Kleiner Perkins: https://www.kleinerperkins.com• “Lose Yourself” by Eminem on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7MJQ9Nfxzh8LPZ9e9u68Fq• Alison Gopnik on Childhood Learning, AI as a Cultural Technology, and Rethinking Nature vs. Nurture: https://conversationswithtyler.com/episodes/alison-gopnik• Garry Tan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garrytan• Bain & Company: https://www.bain.com• Evernote: https://evernote.com• Calendly: https://calendly.com• Morning Brew: https://www.morningbrew.com• Cursor: https://cursor.com• The rise of Cursor: The $300M ARR AI tool that engineers can’t stop using | Michael Truell (co-founder and CEO): https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/the-rise-of-cursor-michael-truell• DigitalOcean: https://www.digitalocean.com• Cloudflare: https://www.cloudflare.com• SpaceX: https://www.spacex.com• Marc Andreessen on X: https://x.com/pmarca• Landman on Prime Video: https://www.amazon.com/Landman-Season-1/dp/B0D4D8RTMD• Dave Morin on X: https://x.com/davemorin—Recommended books:• Modern Etiquette in Technology, Finance, Society, and at Home: A Slow Ventures Handbook: https://www.amazon.com/Modern-Etiquette-Technology-Finance-Society-ebook/dp/B0G4HSKSY5• Life, the Universe and Everything: https://www.amazon.com/Universe-Everything-Hitchhikers-Guide-Galaxy-ebook/dp/B001ODEQ7A• The Ancient City: A Study on the Religion, Laws, and Institutions of Greece and Rome: https://www.amazon.com/Ancient-City-Religion-Institutions-Greece/dp/0801823048• Man’s Search for Meaning: https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl-ebook/dp/B009U9S6FI• Area 51: An Uncensored History of America’s Top Secret Military Base: https://www.amazon.com/Area-51-Uncensored-Americas-Military-ebook/dp/B004THU68Q• The Lessons of History: https://www.amazon.com/Lessons-History-Will-Durant/dp/143914995X• The Fish That Ate the Whale: The Life and Times of America’s Banana King: https://www.amazon.com/Fish-That-Ate-Whale-Americas/dp/1250033314• The Last Kings of Shanghai: The Rival Jewish Dynasties That Helped Create Modern China: https://www.amazon.com/Last-Kings-Shanghai-Jewish-Dynasties/dp/0735224439—Production and marketing by https://penname.co/. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email [email protected].—Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed. To hear more, visit www.lennysnewsletter.com

Transcription

This episode hasn't been transcribed yet

Help us prioritize this episode for transcription by upvoting it.

0 upvotes

🗳️ Sign in to Upvote

Popular episodes get transcribed faster

Other recent transcribed episodes

Transcribed and ready to explore now

3ª PARTE | 17 DIC 2025 | EL PARTIDAZO DE COPE

01 Jan 1970

El Partidazo de COPE

13:00H | 21 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana

01 Jan 1970

Fin de Semana

12:00H | 21 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana

01 Jan 1970

Fin de Semana

10:00H | 21 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana

01 Jan 1970

Fin de Semana

13:00H | 20 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana

01 Jan 1970

Fin de Semana

12:00H | 20 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana

01 Jan 1970

Fin de Semana

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.

Report any issue

Lenny's Podcast: Product | Career | Growth

How to show up in any room with a low heart rate: Silicon Valley’s missing etiquette playbook | Sam Lessin

This episode hasn't been transcribed yet

Other recent transcribed episodes

3ª PARTE | 17 DIC 2025 | EL PARTIDAZO DE COPE

13:00H | 21 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana

12:00H | 21 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana

10:00H | 21 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana

13:00H | 20 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana

12:00H | 20 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana

Sign in to Audioscrape

Share this moment