Scripts for difficult conversations: Giving hard feedback, navigating defensiveness, the three questions you should end every meeting with, more | Alisa Cohn (executive coach)
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Who is Alisa Cohn and what is her background in executive coaching?
I want to dive right into talking about your advice on having difficult conversations. We're like in performance review season. What do you suggest when someone's being told they're not gonna get the promotion?
Hope for the future is so important. I know this is gonna be challenging for you to hear, not gonna promote you, but I want you to know this. It's really important to me that you're able to succeed in your career here. And so I want to continue to help you find opportunities to build your skills and to, you know, advance.
You're big on helping leaders understand that their job is not to make employees happy.
They're trying now to be the leader who everyone loves. But what really needs to happen very often is, you know, we need to drive towards results. This employee continuing to not really do a great job at their job, you don't want to push them because you don't want to upset them. You don't want to give them difficult feedback. So you're just gonna keep hoping it works out. Ultimately, that leads to the demise of your company.
You have some cool advice on just how to make meetings more effective and how to especially end a meeting.
My three questions to end the meeting are
Today, my guest is Alyssa Cohn. Alyssa is an executive coach who has worked with C-Suite execs at both startups like Etsy Wirecutter, Venmo, and DraftKings, along with Fortune 500 companies like Microsoft, Google, Pfizer, and the New York Times. She was named one of the top 50 coaches in the world by Thinkers50 and the number one startup coach for the past four years by Global Gurus. What I love about Alyssa is that she gives her clients Very specific and actionable advice. In our conversation, Alyssa shares specific language and phrases that you can use when having a difficult conversation with your reports to make these conversations go much smoother and be less difficult. Also, three questions you should ask at the end of every meeting to make the most possible forward progress after each meeting.
Plus, why your job as a leader isn't to make people happy and what you should be focused on instead. And a Set of questions that she calls the founder prenup that you should talk through with potential founders to make sure that these are the people that you want to be working with for a long, long time. There's also so much more advice. If you're a leader of people or a founder, and especially if you dread hard conversations, this episode is for you. If you enjoy this podcast, don't forget to subscribe and follow it in your favorite podcasting app or YouTube. It's the best way to avoid missing future episodes and it helps the podcast. podcast tremendo. With that I bring you Alyssa Cohn. This episode is brought to you by EPO.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Who is Alisa Cohn and what is her background in executive coaching?
0:00–10:55
2
Why are difficult conversations so challenging and how does the psychology behind avoidance work?
10:55–22:20
3
What specific script does Alisa recommend for giving performance feedback?
22:20–32:47
4
How should a leader respond when an employee becomes defensive or upset?
32:47–42:50
5
What is the best way to tell someone they won’t get a promotion and keep hope alive?
42:50–54:01
6
What script should be used when terminating an employee to make it less shocking?
54:01–1:04:01
7
What are the three vital questions to ask at the end of every meeting?
1:04:01–1:14:12
8
What is the 'founder prenup' and which questions should co‑founders discuss before starting a company?
1:14:12–1:23:40
Speakers
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