Dear Life Kit: How much advice is too much advice?
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What is the opening premise of Dear Life Kit and how does it set up the advice‑overload theme?
This is Ira Glass. On This American Life, we tell stories about when things change. Like for this guy, David, whose entire life took a sharp, unexpected, and very unpleasant turn. And it did take me a while to realize it's basically because the monkey pressed the button. That's right. Because the monkey pressed the button. Surprising stories every week, wherever you get your podcasts.
I tell them once, I say my piece once, and after that, that's on you. Because when you start nagging them, it's not your job to nag them. You told them, you led the horse to water. Will the horse drink it? I don't even know how the idiom goes, but you know what I'm talking
about. Or will the horse die of thirst? Let the horse, let that money go. Let the horse die of thirst. You stopped short of saying, let the horse die of thirst, I want to say for the record.
Did I say that or Andy said that? I'm throwing Andy under the bus.
Is that the end of the idiom? That is so dark. Hey, it's Mariel Segarra, and welcome to another edition of Dear Life Kit, where we answer your questions with help from the collective wisdom in our Life Kit archives. Reporter Andy Tegel is here. Hey, Andy. Hey, Mariel. And we've also got our digital editor, Malika Garib here. Hey, Malika. Hello. So I'm going to get right into it. Our first question is... Okay, have y'all heard of unclaimed funds? I have not.
Mm-mm. OK, basically, this is when the state or federal government collects money that you forgot about. That could be old bank accounts or uncashed checks, stock certificates, unused gift cards. And those things are available to you through the government.
How can listeners locate and claim unclaimed government funds?
If you search your name, you can see if you have any money there.
I'm sorry. I have to do this right now. I'm looking it up. You guys keep talking and I'll let you know if I have free money.
Okay. And is it like every state? Like everywhere you've lived? So you'd have to look up California and like D.C. and...
I think there are websites where you can check across the country. You can check all the states. I have no money. Well, that's the Tennessee one. But you might have unclaimed money in another state. All right. All right. Stand by. Stand by. So yeah, I mean, I get how frustrated this question asker is because they know all about this. And they're like, hey, I want you to get your $5,000 back. But this person is like, I think it's a scam. And the thing is, you can't really convince people otherwise. And it's not your job to. You know, we know this at LifeKit. We've done a lot of reporting, especially on money and how people can optimize their spending, their savings, their investments. But you can only tell someone so many times to like, you should really invest for retirement and get your employer a match or get a high yield savings account.
Like you can't literally make them do it.
Oh, yeah. I feel that so deeply.
How
much?
I have $50. What is it from? Does it say?
Wait, first of all, it says owner name Garib H.
That's not you. That's not you.
Why is giving unsolicited advice to friends and family often counterproductive?
Oh, dang. It's sad, though, but I could see how this would work. I would be instantly claiming it. I don't know what this person is thinking. They need to go right now and look up their information.
So this is how our letter writer feels. Yeah. Seeing your friend's name and being like, you have $5,000. What are you doing? This is my
rule with adults. This is my rule with adults. You cannot tell another adult what to do. You told them once, that's on them. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, like working for Life Kit, I feel this person so deeply. I feel like I'm brimming with information so often. You know, like we'll be talking about whatever. I don't know. For me, it's parenting stuff. I feel like I'm like the actually person. Like actually, you know, or like I was working on this episode. Yeah. I get a lot of eye rolls. Yeah.
There's not a good way to give unsolicited advice to people. There's never a good way. Here's what I would do. I would get everybody else in the group to do their claims and everyone's getting money and everyone's like, oh my God, I got $50 in the mail.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the opening premise of Dear Life Kit and how does it set up the advice‑overload theme?
0:00–2:05
2
How can listeners locate and claim unclaimed government funds?
2:05–3:20
3
Why is giving unsolicited advice to friends and family often counterproductive?
3:20–4:20
4
When a partner’s boundary with estranged parents is involved, how should a spouse respond?
4:20–6:40
5
What strategies help a spouse reduce household sweets without creating conflict?
6:40–9:26
6
How can parents introduce healthier foods to kids while respecting their preferences?
9:26–11:39
7
What are the key take‑aways for balancing love, control, and advice in relationships?
11:39–13:26
8
How can listeners submit their own tricky relationship or etiquette questions to Dear Life Kit?
13:26–16:30
Speakers
8 identifiedMore from Life Kit
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