There's a powerful question I come back to again and again in my own relationships and in my work with couples because it is the single most effective way to transform conflict into connection: "What need is this person trying to meet?" In this episode, I explore why I believe this inquiry is THE most impactful shift we can make when we want someone to change their behavior. While NVC is often taught as a set of communication skills, its truly transformative power lies in the way it changes how we see ourselves and others. We'll look at why understanding the needs underneath behavior can help us move beyond blame, reduce defensiveness, and create more productive conversations — even when we strongly disagree. I'll also address a common misconception: that understanding someone's needs means excusing their behavior. If you've ever found yourself frustrated with your partner's behavior or discouraged that the same conflicts keep repeating, this episode will help you address your relationship struggles in a clearer, more compassionate, and way more effective way.

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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