Loving BDSM

What to Do When Conflict Happens | Dealing with Conflict Series

08 May 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s episode, we’re continuing our series on conflict on D/s and answering the question, “What do we do about it when it happens?” I...

What Causes Conflict in D/s | Dealing with Conflict Series

01 May 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week’s episode is the first in a series on dealing with conflict in your power exchange, and we’re talking about what can cause conflict. In ...

When a Dom Says No

24 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Note: If you need to skip the part with a content warning, fast forward by about 7 minutes. In this week’s episode, we discuss the fact that Dominan...

Kinky Pet Peeves

17 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

NOTE: The audio quality wasn’t so great for this one, but we figured out the problem and fixed it for next week! This week, we share some of our own...

BDSM Reddit Response

03 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re responding to questions asked on the kinky side of Reddit. In this episode: Where we were last week Dom pushing too far Toy vs sub ...

Can You Be Spontaneous in a Kink Relationship?

20 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

There’s no single right answer. This is a wide-ranging conversation where we try to figure out what we think about the idea of being spontaneous. Sp...

Feeling Disconnected in D/s

13 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Let’s talk about what might make you feel disconnected from your partner in your D/s relationship – and how to reconnect again. In this episode: G...

BDSM Q&A

06 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we asked for your kinky questions over on Instagram and YouTube! In this episode: Final donation totals to the Campaign for Southern Equali...

Reconnecting with Silly Relationship Questions

27 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

After a couple of stressful weeks where we’re both exhausted, we recognize that we’re disconnected. Part of reconnecting is answering (mostly) rid...

Emotional Intelligence and Power Exchange

20 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Emotional intelligence and emotional regulation is extremely important for communication and happy, healthy power exchange relationships. In this epis...

Bonus Section Episode

13 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week was a tough one personally but we wanted to show up, so we went with a chatty bonus section-like episode, but we also answered kinky questio...

Q&A: How Can We Have a Power Exchange as Parents?

10 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This is a question we get asked a lot – in this case, it’s more about not seeming “obvious” to your children. Here’s the question: I grew up...

BDSM Reddit Response

06 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Yes, we just did this a few weeks ago, but we all probably need a good rant or two. In this episode: Join our Patreon during the 2026 Membership Drive...

Q&A: Is Our 24/7 TPE Hopeless?

02 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

A submissive has been in and wants to remain in a 24/7 TPE but wonders if it’s hopeless now that their Dom isn’t communicating. Here’s the quest...

Let’s Talk About *Gestures Broadly at the World*

30 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Consider this a “political” episode but instead of rehashing the news, we’ll offer ways to get involved plus we’ll answer a question we receiv...

Friendship in Long Term Power Exchange

23 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

WE’ve said for years that we think friendship needs to be the basis of any power exchange but certainly a long-term relationship. This week we’re ...

Q&A: How Much Money Do I Have to Spend to Meet a Dom?

19 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Nothing about this question sounded like financial Domination – we read it as someone being an asshole. That being said, sometimes you do spend mone...

Self Control and Power in Dominance

16 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week’s topic comes from both a question we received and questions we’ve seen asked on Reddit: newer Doms worried they’ll lose control of th...

Q&A: Were They Right to Be Angry?

12 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week, a kinkster asked their exes to remove intimate pictures from Fetlife, and those exes got angry about the situation. This kinkster wonders i...

BDSM Reddit Response

09 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Happy New Year! We’re back from our winter break and starting 2026 with a Reddit response episode! In this episode: Thanks to silentwinged for sendi...

Q&A: Should I Reconnect with My Kinky Friend?

05 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

A kinkster hasn’t had a great time with a kinky friend, but they miss the friendship they had at one time. Here’s the question: My question is rel...

Answering 10 Silly Relationship Questions

19 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the last episode of 2025, so we’re keeping it casual and chaotic with a bit of silliness. In this episode: This month’s virtual munch live ...

Q&A: How Do We Maintain Playful D/s While LDR?

16 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

They’re in a long distance relationship and each have their own partners and lives to balance. They want to know how to have a playful power exchang...

Our D/s Life in 2025

12 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We made a goal to reconnect and become more intentional in our power exchange this year. Now that we’re near the end of the year, let’s talk about...

Q&A: How is D/s Worth It if It’s So Difficult?

09 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re answering a question I (Kayla) couldn’t stop thinking about. We’re not sure if they asked in good faith or not, but we’re tak...

How to Achieve Your Kink Goals for 2026

05 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re looking forward to 2026 to how to achieve some of the kink goals a lot of kinksters have (including us!). As always, you don’t ha...

Q&A: How Do We Find the Right Amount of Intimacy?

02 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Two kinksters have moved in together and things aren’t quite like what they expected. Here’s the question: I have been with my baby sub for about ...

Last Minute Schedule Change

24 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This probably seems really random, but we’re bringing you a quick “commercial” break to let you know our podcast/live stream plans for the week ...

Bonus Section Episode

21 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Even though YouTube doesn’t impact the podcast, what they do to our channel does impact our plans. That’s why this week’s episode is a bonus sec...

Q&A: What Can I Wear Instead of My Collar?

17 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A submissive works in the medical field and can’t wear her usual collar and wants to know what she can do instead. Here’s the question: I am a col...

WTF is Soft BDSM?

14 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Trying to figure out what “soft BDSM” even is took us on a journey. Let’s talk about it. In this episode: Our Holiday Cricket tier – and holid...

BDSM Reddit Response

07 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re responding to situations shared on the kinky side of Reddit! In this episode: Join us through Patreon for a special holiday tier an...

Love Maps and Power Exchange

31 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The idea of love maps comes from the Gottman Institute in their studies on relationships, specifically marriage. We wondered if it could be applied to...

Power Exchange vs Domestic Discipline vs Trad Wives

24 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week’s episode is from a question a kinkster sent to us. They wanted to know our take on power exchange, domestic discipline, and trad wives. I...

Q&A: Should I Change Our Dynamic Even Though I’m Happy With What We Have?

20 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This kinkster loves what they have with their boyfriend, but they’ve also discovered new desires that feel opposed to who they think they are. Here’...

Dealing with Shame in Kink

17 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s episode, I (Kayla) share a moment in kink where I realized I felt shame – which was a shock. Which brought me back to this conversa...

10 Relationship Questions that Show You Really Know Your Partner

10 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re answering relationship questions from Therapy Jeff (again!) because we needed a chill, low-key episode, lol. In this episode: Check...

Kinky Q&A

03 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re answering questions you asked us over on IG at that handle Kayla hates. In this episode: Our Wednesday livestream will be at 3pm ET...

BDSM Reddit Response

26 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The world is on fire, so let’s take a break with a BDSM Reddit episode! In this episode: We’re sharing trans-affirming resources each week because...

What’s Changed in our D/s | Updates from Old Episodes

19 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We had technical issues last week which kept us from recording this episode, but we’re back! (Technically with new technical problems but those don’...

Is Kink Being Normalized or Is It Just Going Viral?

05 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we look at some of the most recent viral trends that borrow from kink and ask, “Is kink becoming mainstream?” In this episode: Kinkery ...

Chaotically Answering Kink Questions from Our Inbox

29 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After multiple weeks locked out of our own email inbox, we’re finally back in and celebrating by answering the questions that were waiting for us ju...

BDSM Reddit Response

22 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re responding to questions and situations from the kinky side of Reddit. In this episode: There’s still time to enter the podcast an...

It’s Our 10th Podcast Anniversary!

15 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Somehow, someway, we’ve managed to keep the chaos going for exactly 10 years! In this week’s episode, we take a look at how we got here, then we d...

Our Experience Using the Obedience App

08 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve spent the past couple of months using the free version of the Obedience app, and now we’re ready to share how we’ve used it and how it’s...

Our Uneven, Non-Linear Return to Our D/s Life

01 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week’s episode is a “ripped from the pages of our life” kind of topic. We recently had a long conversation where Kayla shared some of what ...

Princess Treatment vs Power Exchange

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A non-kinky version of “princess treatment” has gone viral recently but when there were comparisons made to power exchange, we decided to learn mo...

Answering 10 Unhinged Relationship Questions

11 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re answering more Therapy Jeff questions – this time “unhinged” relationship questions. In this episode: Register for a free BDS...

Ethics and Responsibilities in High-Risk Kink Play

04 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

All kink carries some level of risk but certain activities are known to be genuinely dangerous. Should kinksters who engage in these scenes – with f...

Adding Kink to Special Occasions

27 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Thanks to Xetheriel aka X for this week’s topic. Let’s talk about how to incorporate kink into special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, et...

What We’re Still Learning About Each Other

20 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we share – with each other and y’all – things we’ve figured out about ourselves that has changed over time. Not much to “learn”...

BDSM Reddit Response

13 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We took an unscheduled break last week because Kayla got sick, but we’re back with a ranty BDSM Reddit response episode! In this episode: We’re on...

Q&A: Am I Asking for Too Much From My Dominant?

02 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This couple has been going through it for the past few years and have spent the past year in couples counseling, but they’re not where they were bef...

Kinky Q&A

30 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back from an extra long break and we’re easing in by answering your kinky questions! In this episode: We’re starting our summer live strea...

Q&A: What Do I Do as a Newly Single But Inexperienced Sub?

19 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A submissive was introduced to BDSM by a former partner, but their relationship ended before any kinky exploration. Here’s the question: I met a Dom...

How to Be Consistent in D/s | Making D/s Work in the Real World

09 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

To us, the best way to be consistent in your power exchange – as a Dom or sub individually and together – is with a routine. In this episode, we’...

Q&A: How Do I Stop Apologizing While Topping?

05 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A switch who’s new to topping keeps apologizing when their partner expresses (consensual) pain. Here’s the question: I’ve recently discovered my...

D/s When You Take Care of Others | Making D/s Work in the Real World

02 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Whether you’re a parent (now or in the future) or you are a caregiver for an adult in your life (now or in the future), it’s going to impact your ...

Q&A: How Do I Convince My Dom That I’m Ready for More?

28 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This submissive knows they need to move slowly into D/s but nothing’s happening at all. Here’s the question: I’m 28 and am just figuring out tha...

D/s No One Else Will Notice | Making D/s Work in the Real World

25 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’re continuing our real world series by talking about how to do power exchange things or experience your D/s vibe in ways that no one else is goin...

Q&A: Are These Unwanted Behaviors a Red Flag?

21 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A submissive had to ask their partner to stop doing something twice, and now they worry it’s a red flag. Here’s the question: I am in a 3-year Dad...

Kink is Customizable | Making D/s Work in the Real World

18 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’re starting a new series inspired by our session from the 2025 Dom/sub Dynamics Virtual Summit and diving deeper into how to make a power exchang...

Q&A: How Will We Know We’re Ready to Try Nonmonogamy Again?

14 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

They tried non-monogamy in the past and it didn’t work, but they’d like to try again. Here’s the question: My Daddy and I have been together for...

No Topic, Just Vibes | A Bonus Section Episode

11 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We had a topic all planned and then life threw us for a bit of a loop on a day when we were already exhausted. Since we want to do the topic justice, ...

Q&A: How Do I Provide Emotional Support to My Dom?

07 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A submissive isn’t sure how to be there for their switchy Daddy Dom. Here’s the question: My partner and I are both relatively new to BDSM and kin...

Afraid to Ask for “Too Much” in Your Dynamic

04 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After multiple emails with the same question, it was time to talk about it. If you’re afraid to ask for “too much” in your dynamic or don’t th...

Q&A: How Do I Navigate Being New to Sex and Kink

31 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A submissive is about to move in with their long distance partner. The submissive is new to sex and kink and has never done either. They have anxiety,...

Kinky AITA

28 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week’s BDSM Reddit response is a kinky version of “Am I the asshole?”! In this episode: You can still register for the Dom/sub Dynamics Vir...

Q&A: Is There a Way to Be Okay With Being Called Mommy or Daddy?

24 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A Domme wants to give their submissive what he wants – to call his partner Mommy – but it’s jarring to hear. Here’s the question: I stepped ba...

24/7 D/s and Total Power Exchange

21 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Thanks to multiple questions we received in a previous “ask us anything” episode, we’re devoting an entire episode to 24/7 D/s and total power e...

Q&A: How Can a People Pleaser Explore Their Bratty Side?

17 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A submissive knows they’re a people pleaser, but they also want to explore their bratty side. Here’s the question: I am a submissive who’s been ...

Experimenting with Rules in Public

14 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This was a really hard episode to concisely explain in a title. We’re taking our own advice and starting low and slow when trying new things in our ...

Q&A: How Do We Negotiate Consensual Non-consent?

10 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A kinky couple wants to try consensual non-consent (CNC) and is looking for ideas and tips on the negotiation process. Here’s the question: I (f26) ...

Kinky Q&A

07 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we answer some of the kinky questions you asked us over on Instagram (at that handle that will be hated forever!). Links from the episode: ...

Q&A: What Should We Negotiate and Decide Before We Move In Together?

03 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

They’re thinking of moving in together and want to make sure they plan appropriately. Here’s the question: I am a newer submissive who’s in a LD...

Perimenopause and Power Exchange

28 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Perimenopause can impact a person’s life for a decade or more, so of course it affects your power exchange relationship and kink life. And it’s pa...

Q&A: Is Punishment a Necessary Part of Power Exchange?

17 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You’ll hear the audio skip during the intro – it was a problem we discovered after we recorded. The rest of the episode should be fine. They’ve ...

Feelings of Comfort and Familiarity

14 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A lot of feelings come up when you’re getting back to the D/s relationship you want or reconfiguring it to work for your life now. For us, it’s be...

Q&A: How Do I Feel More Confident in Our Dynamic After Trauma?

10 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Content warning: mentions (but no descriptions) of sexual abuse and trauma in a past D/s relationship A submissive left an abusive power exchange rela...

Silly Conflicts in Our Power Exchange

07 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We needed something lighthearted this week, so we’re taking a look at some of the silly little “arguments” we get into. In this episode: Our 202...

Q&A: How Do I Get Out of My Head During Sex?

03 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, a submissive can’t stop worrying about her partner’s previous sexual experience but her Dominant also worries he’s not giving her big...

BDSM Reddit Response

31 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we could use a cathartic rant or two, so we’re responding to the BDSM side of Reddit! In this episode: Join our kinky community during th...

Q&A: How Do I Support a Partner Who Doesn’t Take Criticism Well?

27 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A submissive agreed to their partner “No” on agreed upon topics, but their partner reacts in a way that’s causing resentment. The submissive kno...

Obedience in Power Exchange

24 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Obedience is a necessary part of submission, but it’s not experienced the same by all submissives – or their Dominant partners. In this episode: P...

Q&A: How Do We Maintain Our D/s Dynamic?

20 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A Dominant wants to support their submissive but they don’t know how to do that and maintain their D/s dynamic. Here’s the question: My wife has v...

Reconnecting With Our Kinky Identities

17 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re talking about the early days of reconnecting with our kinky selves – what it’s been like so far, how we got here, and more. In ...

Q&A: Am I Really Submissive?

13 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s episode, their partner is willing to top them but not be their Dominant. They also have conflicted feelings about their submission le...

Getting Our D/s Life Back in 2025

10 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Taking a couple of weeks off was very good for us. It allowed us to rest and chill, but we also reflected on the state of our power exchange. We talke...

Q&A: What Happens If You Can’t Agree That a Sub Broke a Rule?

06 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A sassy switch has a partner who pushes the boundaries as a brat, and they’re not sure how to handle potential broken rules. Here’s the question: ...

Looking Back at our D/s Relationship in 2024

20 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

For the last podcast episode of the year, we’re looking back at the state of our power exchange for the year. The takeaway is that not a lot happene...

Q&A: Does the Kink Community Welcome All Body Types?

16 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week, a plus size kinkster wants to let it all hang out at the dungeon, but not if they’ll be the only plus size person there. Here’s the que...

Answering More Vanilla Relationship Questions

13 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We’re keeping it light and easy (and also extremely personal, apparently) this week by answering more non-kinky relationship questions. In this epis...

Q&A: How Do We Find the Balance Between Our Power Exchange Needs?

09 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A submissive has needs that don’t fit naturally with what their Dominant enjoys and wonders how to find the right balance for both of them. Here’s...

Navigating the Holidays in Power Exchange

06 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The holidays are upon us (and they keep coming back every year) so let’s talk about how to get through some of the main parts of it that can impact ...

Q&A: Why is My Sub Irritable After a Scene? Is It Drop?

02 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A Dominant provides the aftercare his submissive wants, but she’s always cranky the day after a scene. Here’s the question: My (41m/Dom) and my wi...

BDSM Reddit Response

29 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Thanksgiving! We responded (and ranted) to BDSM Reddit posts. In this episode: Black Friday sales The Kinkery – 25 percent off with code SPANK...

Q&A: Is It OK for Subs to Call Me Sir When We Meet?

25 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This Dominant knows not to come on too strong when getting to know submissives, but some of them call him “Sir” from the very beginning, and he’...

Kinky Q&A

22 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We asked Instagram to ask us anything and then opened up questions to the YouTube live chat during the stream. In this episode: All of our Etsy shops ...

Q&A: How Do I Talk About My Mental Health?

18 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A kinkster who’s been dealing with burnout, depression, and other personal stuff wonders how and when to bring up their mental health to a new partn...

Assertive Submissives

15 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Assertive gets conflated with bratting, demanding, and/or unsubmissive-like behavior. And we fundamentally disagree, so let’s talk about it. In this...