Loving BDSM

BDSM Reddit Response

04 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re responding to BDSM questions and situations kinksters have shared on the BDSM side of Reddit! In this episode: Join our kinky commu...

Answering More Non-Kinky Relationship Questions

28 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re answering more non-kinky relationship questions. These came from a marriage coach on Instagram who labeled these questions as conve...

Most “Popular” Kinks and Fetishes

21 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Pay attention to the air quotes because in this conversation, we had serious questions about this list. Joy Love Dolls compiled a list of the “most ...

Our Kink Life on OnlyFans

14 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Back in January we talked about how we’d started an OnlyFans page for our kinky fuckery and mentioned we might do a six-month update. Well, here it ...

Are D/s Relationships 50/50?

07 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The real question is: Should D/s relationships be 50/50? We have definite opinions on this one. In this episode: Subscribe to our weekly newsletter an...

How D/s Has Improved Our Lives

30 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s podcast episode, we’re focusing on the positive and looking at how kink and power exchange have improved our lives – both as indi...

Bonus Section Episode

23 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We thought this was a “No thoughts, just vibes” kind of episode – because we didn’t have the energy to focus on a topic and there’s just bee...

Mental Load in Power Exchange

16 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re talking about the mental load each partner carries in power exchange. It’s a topic that touches on a lot of previous conversation...

BDSM Reddit Response

09 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re baaaaa-aaaaaack! Our break was good but now we want to have a bit of fun, so let’s respond to kinky situations shared on Reddit! In this epi...

Answering Relationship Questions to Reconnect

19 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back with another episode where we answer relationship questions we found online. These questions are meant to help partners get back in touch...

How Our D/s Negotiations Have Changed Over Time

12 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re hitting a lot of milestones after 10 years in a D/s relationship. One we didn’t expect is that how we’re negotiating parts of our dynamic ...

BDSM in the News

05 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re trying something new, and it’s based off of our weekly newsletter. Each week, we include a section called BDSM in the News and share article...

Procrastination in Power Exchange

28 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Procrastination shows up in so many parts of our lives. Does that include our D/s relationships and kinky fuckery? Let’s talk about it! In this epis...

Decision Fatigue in D/s Relationships

21 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ever feel like you could not make one more decision! As a Dom or a sub? Us too. So let’s talk about it! In this episode: We do all the things! Links...

BDSM Reddit Response

14 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back with another BDSM Reddit response episode! Thanks to silentwinged who sent us a few questions to look at plus we found a couple on our ow...

BDSM Q&A

07 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back with a Q&A episode! We asked for questions over on that handle Kayla fucking hates on Instagram and then took questions from the YouTube ...

Our Experience with D/s and Depression

31 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, things get a bit heavy as we discuss our (ongoing) experiences with depression as a Dom and sub in a power exchange relationship. We don’...

Topping from the Bottom | Revisiting Old Episodes

24 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

A post on Reddit got us talking about topping from the bottom…seven years after the first time we talked about it! While a lot of the sentiments are...

Survey “Reveals” How Kinky the Bible Belt Is

10 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re using quotes in the title for a reason, y’all! Is the Bible Belt kinkier than most people probably realize? Absolutely! Does this survey pro...

Figuring Out Your Kinky Self

03 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s episode, we’re taking a question we received in a previous Q&A and expanding it to a full conversation. The question: How do I figu...

Sensation Play

24 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve discussed aspects of sensation play – pain, wax, electroplay – many times in the past, but we’ve never discussed the broader topic of se...

Answering Silly But Serious Relationship Questions

17 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s episode, we take “silly but serious” questions posed by a therapist on social media and answer them from the perspective of our l...

BDSM Reddit Response

10 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We needed an easy one this week – as we’re both still recovering from being sick – so we went with a response to questions asked on the BDSM sid...

How We’ve Evolved in BDSM and D/s

27 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week’s episode is similar to other episodes in the archive but with a twist. Yes, we’re talking about what we’ve learned over the years but...

Bonus Section Episode

20 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

JB said he wanted to stream/record but that, and he wasn’t “firing on all cylinders.” So we turned this week’s into a big (to us) announcement...

Division of Labor in Power Exchange

13 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve teased this topic over the past several weeks, and we’re finally getting to it – the division of labor in your home and family while you a...

Our 2023 Plans and Goals

06 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the first episode of 2023 so we’re sharing our personal and professional goals and plans for the year! This episode actually focuses more on ...

BDSM Reddit Response

16 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

For this last episode before we take a couple of weeks off, we’re responding to questions and situations shared on the BDSM side of Reddit. And yes,...

BDSM Q&A

09 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We asked for your questions over at that handle we fucking hate on Instagram, and y’all delivered! We got so many we couldn’t answer them all! If ...

What We’ve Learned After a Decade Together

02 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ten years ago from the time we recorded this week’s episode, we were “meeting” each other through blog comments. On December 23, it will be ten ...

Our Favorite Sex Toys of 2022

25 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It’s that time of year again — time to talk about the sex toys we’ve loved this year, plus some Black Friday sales and specials. Because no one ...

Research on Kink Behavior vs. Kink Identity

18 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week is a bit different but something we’ve wanted to do a while. Our dear friend, Professor Sex, finished their thesis several months ago and ...

Toxic Masculinity in Power Exchange | A Dominant’s Perspective

11 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The topic of toxic masculinity — in power exchange and kink or not — is a huge one. But as with all of these conversations, we have to start somew...

Answering Spicy Questions

04 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Spoiler: This episode is about sex, and it’s a TMI episode about the two of us, our sexual fantasies, turn-ons, and more. If that’s more than you ...

Sharing Burdens in Power Exchange

28 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We mentioned something in last week’s episode on people-pleasing — about needing to talk to JB about a stressor Kayla tried to handle alone — an...

People Pleasing in Power Exchange

21 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

People pleasing happens for a lot of reasons, and it manifests in a lot of ways. We’re talking about it this week, specifically as it relates to pow...

Different Types of Intimacy in Kink

14 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve talked about intimacy before — link below — but this time, a post on Instagram gave me (Kayla) some specific examples of intimacy beyond t...

What Kinksters Want Others to Stop Getting Wrong About Kink

30 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week’s episode was recorded while we waited for Hurricane Ian, so it’s more chaotic than usual. Also, we took help from kinksters over on Ins...

BDSM Reddit Reaction

16 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re reacting (or responding) to the BDSM questions asked on Reddit! In this episode: Live Stream/Virtual Munch this Friday, September 1...

BDSM Q&A

09 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we answered listener questions about a variety of topics: masochism, kinky bucket lists, non-monogamy, and more! In this episode: Our first...

Voice Kinks

02 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, let’s talk about voice kinks: what are they and do we have any? In this episode: Defining voice kinks What we like about voices Do we hav...

Submitting While Angry or Upset

26 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re talking about anger, upset, and other negative feelings specifically in terms of submission. How do you submit when you’re angry ...

Checking in on Our D/s Relationship

19 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we get personal — more than usual — and have a formal check-in of our D/s relationship. We tend to do this on a frequent and casual bas...

What is a Service Top?

12 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s podcast, we discuss the term “service top” — and there are a lot of ways to define it! In this episode: Multiple definitions of...

Does a Submissive Have to Change in D/s?

05 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We (kind of) get where this question comes from — submissives are seen to bend to the will of their Dominant partner, submissive training and behavi...

BDSM Q&A

29 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s episode, we took questions from Instagram and then from the YouTube live chat. Plus, the bonus section actually has bonus content abo...

BDSM Reddit Reaction

22 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back with another BDSM Reddit reaction episode! And for once, the answer to all of these posts was something other than, “Talk to your partn...

What is Conscious Kink?

19 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

A term keeps popping up in Kayla’s feeds: conscious kink. But what does that even mean? Is it a new way of thinking about BDSM or is it a catch-all ...

Joy in D/s Relationships

08 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It might seem like a random topic but the joy we’ve felt (at times) in our power exchange is so powerful and amazing that it’s important to acknow...

What is an Alpha Sub?

01 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s episode, we talk about the label “alpha sub” — how it was defined when we first heard of it and what it means to many people to...

What Do You Bring to the Table?

17 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

John Brownstone posed an interesting question when thinking about power exchange relationships and new potential partners: What do you bring to the ta...

Love Bombing and Power Exchange

10 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

A listener sent us a question about telling the difference between love bombing and being an eager caregiver type with new relationship energy (NRE). ...

Collaboration and Teamwork

03 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re revisiting a topic we talked about back in 2019: teamwork in power exchange. The conversation focuses on a book we recently read sp...

Minisode 56: Punishment Tips

31 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Not every power exchange relationship needs (or wants!) an element of discipline, punishment, and consequences. But for those who do, there are a lot ...

Perfectionism in Power Exchange

27 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week we’re talking about something near and dear to our experience — perfectionism, and how it can impact your power exchange relationship an...

Getting Back Into a Groove

20 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’re baaaaa-aaaaaack…and we’re trying to get back into a groove, both for the podcast and in our D/s relationship. This week’s episode is mor...

Our Power Exchange During Times of Stress

15 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

As you may know, JB has been pulled away from home and work to help take care of his ailing mom. It means he’s not at home as much, and he’s under...

Minisode 55: Beyond Subspace

05 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Subspace is just one experience submissives can have during a kink scene. As we’ve discussed before, subspace isn’t a guarantee for every scene, a...

BDSM Reddit Response

01 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back with another response (reaction?) to questions asked over on the BDSM side of Reddit. In this episode: This week’s episode is sponsored...

Minisode 54: Consent in Power Exchange

29 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re sharing the audio version of a video we made recently on a few things to remember about consent in your power exchange relationship...

Minisode 53: Trying New Kinks Together

22 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We love a good process that we can (mostly) repeat over and over again. Yes, even in kink and for new kinky fuckery. This week, we’re sharing what w...

BDSM Q&A

11 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week we asked for your kinky questions over on Instagram (at that handle I will forever fucking hate) and in the live chat on YouTube while we re...

Minisode 52: Subspace

08 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Too many kinksters chase subspace and then feel disappointed after their scene. Not because it didn’t go well but because they didn’t undergo a bi...

Are We Still DD/lg? | Revisiting Old Episodes

04 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re going back in the archive to episode 6 where we talked about how we made the switch to DD/lg (Daddy Dom/little girl). This time, we...

Minisode 51: Electroplay Basics and Safety Tips

01 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

New to the idea of electroplay? Like all other kinks, you need to learn about it before you try it – especially the risks. Here are a few things to ...

Burnout in Power Exchange and Kink

25 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Towards the end of 2021, we both admitted to each other we were starting to feel burnt out – in our power exchange! While our relationship wasn’t ...

Minisode 50: Our Favorite Impact Play Toys

22 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

For the big 5-0, we decided to talk about one of our favorite things in kink – impact play. Specifically, we’re sharing different types of toys we...

When a Service Submissive Can’t Serve

18 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re talking about our experience during Kayla’s recovery from surgery – a time when she wasn’t able to be her service submissive ...

Minisode 49: Tips for Balancing Kink and Parenting

15 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Too many people still ask, “Can you have a power exchange relationship and be a parent?” To that, we say, “YES!” As with all things parenting,...

What We’ve Learned After 300 Kinky Conversations

11 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we celebrate a major podcasting milestone – 300 episodes of our Friday conversations. So this week we’re reflecting on what we’ve lea...

Minisode 48: Sadism and Masochism

08 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

JB is a sadist and Kayla is a masochist, and it’s something we talk about in a lot of contexts. In this week’s mini episode, we’re sharing a few...

BDSM Reddit Reaction

04 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Not only is this episode filled with Kayla Rants™, there’s also the rare sighting of a JB Rant™! In this episode: The Patreon Membership Drive c...

Minisode 47: Red Flags in Power Exchange

01 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve talked about red flags that Doms show and red flags from submissives, but what about red flags in power exchange, regardless of the role? This...

Hard Doms vs Soft Doms

28 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re taking a look at two newish-to-us terms – hard dom and soft dom. What do they mean and what do we think about them as terms? In t...

Minisode 46: Our Favorite Vibrators for Forced Orgasms

25 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Forced orgasms are our jam around here, and we love a good vibrator to help us both out. In this minisode we share a few of our favorite toys and why ...

Questioning Whether Bad Kinky Behavior is “Normal” | Revisiting Episode 5

21 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re re-visiting episode five from the archives. In that episode, Kayla answered common submissive questions regarding bad behavior that...

Minisode 45: BDSM Safety Tips

18 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

All BDSM carries risk. Some is a little, some is a lot. And it’s easy to ignore the risks when you’re focused on fulfilling a fantasy, finally exp...

Sharing Our 2022 Goals

14 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s episode, we share our 2022 goals and how our power exchange impacts our goals and why we think goals are important. In this episode: ...

One Big Bonus Section

07 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’re baaaa-aaaaack! But we’re not fully operational yet, lol. Instead of skipping this week, we turned this episode into a giant bonus section. I...

Minisode 44: Tips for Setting Kinky Goals

04 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, but we do like to set new goals at the beginning of the year. In this week’s minisode, we share tips on ho...

BDSM Q&A

17 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the last podcast episode of 2021 so we turned it into a Q&A! Enjoy! PS: We were also extremely chaotic – more so than usual. You’ve been wa...

Minisode 43: Impact Play Tips for Newbies

14 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

New to impact play? Just starting to explore spankings and beyond? Here are a few tips to keep in mind! A massive thanks to our Patreon community for ...

Good Doms | Revisiting Episode 3

10 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

In our third episode, Kayla shared a some characteristics on what makes someone a good Dominant. We revamped the list, slightly, for a YouTube video i...

Minisode 42: Tips for Surviving Holiday Visits with Vanilla Family and Friends

07 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Not everyone cares if people know they’re kinky. Not everyone visits with vanilla friends and family during the holidays. But if you do care and you...

Responding to BDSM Reddit…Again

03 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We have a lot of fun with these BDSM Reddit episodes, and if you enjoy Kayla-Rants™, you probably do, too. This week, we talk about toxic behavior, ...

Minisode 41: Drop

30 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Whether it’s sub drop or top drop, it can happen to anyone. Here are a few things to keep in if you find yourself going through it. A massive thanks...

Our Favorite Sex Toys of 2021

26 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Another Black Friday, another list of sex toys and kinky gear we love and recommend! All the links to everything we’ve mentioned are down below! Kin...

Minisode 40: 3 BDSM Book Recommendations

23 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We’re trying something new this week, y’all: BDSM book recommendations on the podcast! If you like this and want more recs, let us know. A massive...

Revisiting Episode 2: How to Talk to Your Dominant

19 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We’re continuing with the exercise of revisiting old episodes from the archive from before we had lengthy conversations about kinky topics. This wee...

Minisode 39: Negotiation Tips

17 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s minisode, we share a few tips, tricks, and truths we’ve learned about negotiation in power exchange. Simply put, negotiation is a w...

Kink-Shaming

12 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve mentioned the concept of kink-shaming in many episodes, but we’ve never really focused on it as a topic. So let’s do that now! In this epi...

Minisode 38: What Does It Mean to Be Submissive

09 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Truthfully, there are as many ways to be a submissive as there are submissives in the world. But in trying to define submission, we broke it down into...

Mindfulness, Meditation, and BDSM

05 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We came across a fascinating article on BDSM, meditation, and mindfulness, so we decided to talk about it! In this episode: Cara Dunkley, a clinical p...

Minisode 37: Building Your BDSM First Aid Kit

02 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Yes, most of us know to consider the risks of our BDSM fun. Yes, most of us talk about safety or at least think about it on some level. Unfortunately,...

Changing Old Habits and Forming New Habits in Power Exchange

29 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There’s a lot that goes into establishing the routine and flow of your power exchange. Mindset. Desires. Limits and boundaries. And yes, habits. To ...

Minisode 36: Anal Training Tips

26 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We’re finally back with more minisodes, and we’re comin’ in hot for this one. Let’s talk about anal training! Not every power exchange engages...

Revisiting Episode 1: Anyone Can Be Kinky

22 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve been recording podcast episodes since 2015, and things have changed a lot in all these years. So we thought it might be interesting to go back...

BDSM Q&A

15 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Why yes, we are doing Q&A episodes on a semi-regular basis. We’re so glad you noticed! This week, we answered questions on “getting a partner to l...

Different Types of Personal Boundaries

08 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s episode, we take inspiration from a very vanilla article on the five types of personal boundaries we all need to set. But, of course,...

Minisode 35: Funishment Basics

28 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We recently did a longer podcast episode on funishment. For those who want the Tl;dr, here are five tips and things to know about funishment if you’...