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MAFS Funny Podcast

Sam's Confession To His Parents (Bonus Ep)

27 May 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What challenge does Sam face in confessing to his parents?

0.031 - 21.223 Host

Hello and welcome to a bonus episode of the Occasionally Funny Podcast where I have set Sam his first challenge. As I said the other week when I officially asked him to be my co-host, I don't want this to just feel like my podcast. I want it to be ours. I want it to be something we do together, like not just him featuring on something of mine.

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21.583 - 46.542 Host

And with that thought in mind, I thought, well, we need to get to know him a little bit better and some of the people like he's closest to in his life. So I said, hey, before yesterday's main episode came out all about our coming out stories, why don't you, Sam, give your parents a phone call and confess to them the secret you've carried for 21 years now?

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46.522 - 67.806 Host

that you ordered Brokeback Mountain on the family DVD account then lied to your mum and dad about it when it arrived. And, you know, just finally end this confusion that has haunted your family for over two decades now. And when I set Sam this challenge, I thought, well, this will be great to, you know, hear his parents and get to know him a little bit better through them.

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68.307 - 86.107 Host

But also because I personally thought, well, this could be quite awkward, which I know I would enjoy listening to. And I'll be honest. Sam said yes, great. But the whole thing did get off to quite the awkward start as Sam's mum and dad wondered what their lovely son was about to tell them.

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86.307 - 90.572 Sam

As you know, I'm recording this call for the podcast today. How's that make you feel, mum?

90.752 - 94.276 Sam's Mum

Not good. But that's okay.

94.296 - 100.423 Sam

I don't know why you're nervous. I only told the webcam story last time I had the podcast. It can't get much worse than that, surely.

101.045 - 105.992 Sam's Mum

Don't know. What are you going to do about that? What are you going to put me through?

106.132 - 122.855 Sam

There's an episode coming up where I talk about my coming out story. And it reminded me of something that happened, I reckon, when I was about, I'm going to say 14 or 15, that I don't think we've ever spoken about. Okay.

Chapter 2: How does the phone call with Sam's parents begin?

134.669 - 137.177 Sam's Mum

On one of those? Oh, okay.

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137.197 - 141.008 Sam

So do you remember how we used to get

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141.713 - 166.303 Host

dvds delivered to us from big pond yes what did you order with the small talk out the way it was then time for sammy to share the secret that he has been carrying on his shoulders alone since 2005. so do you guys remember when we got sent brokeback mountain yes well i don't remember so obviously i was like

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166.283 - 193.995 Sam

didn't know if I was gay at that point and was curious and knew this movie was out there. So I logged in one day and selected Brokeback Mountain as a preference for a movie to be sent to us. And then the movie got sent straight away. Obviously, not a lot of people were in demand for that movie, so it got sent to us straight away. And then when it came, Dad opened the DVD and he was like,

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194.347 - 204.998 Sam

What on earth? We've been sent Brokeback Mountain. How did this happen? I didn't select that. Did any of you guys select that? And I've gone, absolutely not. I would never select that.

205.67 - 225.694 Host

So, what Sam and I thought would be quite a quick and funny phone call with his family as he discussed his love of watching the love story of two gay cowboys on the big screen, it quickly became quite emotional as his mum really thought about the lengths her son had to go to back in those days while figuring out who he was.

226.756 - 230.661 Host

So, before I press play on the next bit, let's cue some emotional music here.

232.222 - 232.723 Sam's Mum

Awesome.

233.075 - 236.47 Sam

Oh, no. Mum's going to get emotional.

Chapter 3: What emotions arise during Sam's confession about Brokeback Mountain?

336.859 - 350.089 Host

All we ask of you and all queer kids out there ask of their parents is for you to just be there for us and love us and make us feel accepted and safe. And then when we are finally ready to...

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350.069 - 374.099 Host

share like our coming out stories or share the confusion or everything we've been processing alone and for me and Sam at least it's then never a thing of oh like I hope my mum will accept this because we already know you will because we've never doubted your unconditional love and support for us so when we do finally get to that place it's not that I'm I hope mum can accept this.

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374.38 - 382.273 Host

It's more, okay, I am finally ready to tell mum this part of my life and I'm excited that it will bring us closer.

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382.293 - 394.558 Sam

So then I snuck out of my room that night and I got the DVD and I watched it. And it's like, interesting.

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394.698 - 396.421 Sam's Mum

I still haven't seen it. Oh, really?

396.701 - 417.623 Sam

Oh, well, let's book in a family movie night. That'd be great. So I sealed it up. And then I remember coming out in the morning and then dad goes, wait, who already sealed up Brokeback Mountain? We could have watched that. Yeah, I would have said that. Now we can't watch it. And then I lied again and said, oh, I don't know how it got sealed up. Oh, well, off it goes.

417.743 - 419.706 Sam's Mum

I didn't think you lied, Sammy.

420.087 - 435.409 Sam

Well, unfortunately, mum, I did lie for 20 years about my sexuality. So any lies related to that, I think I have to be left the hook. But for anyone listening at home, number one rule with my mother is not to lie.

435.473 - 456.365 Host

So, with Sam's big secret now out the way and the family now talking about all the little white lies so many still figuring things out queer kids often have to tell until they have the answers they're looking for themselves, Sam went on to reflect on the reason his mother never actually suspected he was gay.

Chapter 4: How do Sam's parents react to his long-held secret?

506.011 - 534.837 Sam

and then mum came home and she i don't even think it was we weren't going to be in trouble you just generally wanted to know if we used it right yeah yeah but for some reason i thought i was going to get in trouble for using it so i said nope we absolutely did not use the laminated mum lied again yeah yeah yeah this lie i deserve to be in trouble for well actually mum talk me through what happened because i was at school and you cleaned my room as you always used to do thank you so much we found the fbi

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536.217 - 559.096 Sam

And she's gone, Sam, I'm going to ask you one more time. Did you use the laminator the other day? And I said, no, mom, I wouldn't lie to you. And then she goes, one more time. And then you go, okay, go get the jeans off your bed. I didn't realize straight away. I was like, okay. And then I turned around and as I'm walking towards my jeans, I was like, Oh, no.

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560.097 - 566.065 Sam

And then I'm pretty sure I would have hysterically started crying and said, I'm so sorry, mum, or something similar to that.

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566.085 - 570.431 Sam's Mum

But I gave that FBI card and gave it to you for your 21st.

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570.451 - 578.121 Sam

Gave it to me for my 21st. So with all that information, did you guys suspect that I was gay when I came out to you?

578.607 - 580.209 Sam's Mum

No, not at all.

580.369 - 586.638 Sam

Yeah. I mean, I was really giving you reasons not to believe. Yeah. I never picked up on it.

586.658 - 589.682 Sam's Mum

When you asked for the Barbie horse and cart too.

590.523 - 596.011 Sam

Oh, yeah. Yeah, good. We'll bring that up for everyone.

Chapter 5: What insights does Sam share about his upbringing and coming out?

641.867 - 661.166 Sam

Let's just rip the bandaid off. I think you know about this one, but do you remember when... When you got an email and as you would scroll through the attachments of this email, there would be certain pornographic photos that would come up.

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661.827 - 666.292 Sam's Mum

No, I can't remember this photo. You don't remember that? No, I can't remember that.

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666.352 - 670.477 Sam

Have you guys blocked this out? This is one of the most traumatic memories of my life.

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671.659 - 674.342 Sam's Mum

Bob? Yeah, I cannot remember. I cannot remember that one.

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674.575 - 687.552 Host

You know what's more embarrassing than your parents accidentally discovering that you've been visiting gay porn as a teenager? The fact that they'd completely forgot about it and then you then bring it up to them 20 years later on a podcast.

687.572 - 704.515 Sam

Oh, and you had to ask someone from the swimming club who was like really IT savvy and they were like, no, these images have definitely come from like your IP, your computer. And it's just the attachment is showing everything that's sort of come to you through the internet. And there was like gay porn images there.

705.237 - 724.512 Sam

And I remember distinctly you and dad sitting at the desktop computer, because I'm very old for everyone listening. It's a long time ago. And I was sitting on the couch and you guys were going through these images.

726.247 - 742.905 Sam

like trying to figure out like trying to figure out what happened in a very like clinical way you were going through these images I must point out and then you turned to me mum and you said Sam if you are gay it's completely okay and I said no mum

743.307 - 761.637 Sam

i know i know and i said no i'm not um but glad to know that you guys have completely blocked that out and it's been a very strong memory of mine in a moment that i was absolutely like i'm so busted here i'm so busted here but somehow

Chapter 6: How does Sam reflect on the lies he told during his childhood?

827.281 - 842.671 Sam

I tell you absolutely everything. And yeah, I think the only lies that we've ever had had to do with my sexuality before the age of 20. I think we've known everything since. And I would never lie to you. No, you apologize. You don't, mom. You said everything.

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842.711 - 855.752 Sam

I think people listening to this will see just how great you both were in creating a great environment for me and just saw the sneaky ways that I tried to find out if I was gay. I'm the villain in this story, mom.

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858.682 - 874.985 Host

Anyway, that's all for this week's bonus episode featuring Sam and his lovely parents. In future ones, I'm going to let Sammy take the lead more and do the little narration between the clips and kind of, I'm trying to progress him as the co-host. I'm trying to teach him all the tips and tricks.

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875.305 - 896.13 Sam

Well, thanks for the phone call, guys. It's been great. No worries at all. I'm glad to have cleared the air and I don't think there is anything that's going to... come out no i think we've really i don't think there's anything else that's going to come out in this podcast that i haven't already told you and i think so far he's doing very well see ya

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