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Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 621 - Landlubbers

26 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What underwater topics do the hosts discuss?

0.031 - 19.037 Matt McCusker

The Wild, Wild West. Hello. Hey. Hello. Coming to you live on a bright and beautiful Thursday. Wow, it's Thursday. Thursday. Thursday might be my new favorite day of the week. Really? Yeah. What's that about? I love the week. You're just getting ready for the weekend. Here's the thing. Reverse. I love the week.

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19.117 - 19.477 Matt Chandler

Reverse.

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19.497 - 22.602 Matt McCusker

Reverse. The week is my new. The week's my shit.

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22.662 - 22.862 Matt Chandler

Yeah.

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23.143 - 27.589 Matt McCusker

The weekend is like, it's cool. It's because you're working on the weekend. I'm working on the weekend. Exactly.

27.729 - 30.173 Matt Chandler

The week. You're way off in the deep end.

30.153 - 40.509 Matt McCusker

I am, man. I have my nice little routine all week, Monday through Friday. My routine, if you could just trap me in glass and let me do my routine every day, put me in the zoo. I'm fine.

40.589 - 48.24 Matt Chandler

I'm so excited about my routine. As soon as I woke up today, drove to Starbucks, hit the Xbox. Perfect, perfect.

Chapter 2: How do the hosts feel about their weekly routines?

48.26 - 52.186 Matt Chandler

I'm back. Keep an eye. See if the Rens are back. I don't know if they are.

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52.387 - 52.847 Matt McCusker

Oh, no, really?

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52.867 - 60.516 Matt Chandler

I got in late last night. I don't know if the Rens are back. God knows what the mayor's doing. He's probably 18. You think he fried him up? That fucking dickhead. I don't know if he'd fry him, Matt.

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60.537 - 74.689 Matt McCusker

I'm not... He was sneaking guys in for a bird fry? Yeah, there's... There's been some people here. You gotta look out for little signs of people's lungs. Might be advertising a bird fry.

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75.58 - 81.149 Matt Chandler

I don't think he knew I was coming home. Door's locked. He parked me in and he was in Virginia.

Chapter 3: What experiences do the hosts share about their recent travels?

83.273 - 85.737 Matt McCusker

Dang. Is he still in VA right now?

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85.757 - 86.898 Matt Chandler

I think he's down Virginia way.

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87.98 - 89.082 Matt McCusker

What a fucking dick.

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89.102 - 89.242 Matt Chandler

Yeah.

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89.563 - 91.165 Matt McCusker

He parked you. Where's his keys?

91.206 - 94.371 Matt Chandler

Parked me in. His keys. Under a pile of cummy clothes.

94.912 - 95.032 Matt McCusker

Oh.

95.052 - 97.015 Matt Chandler

Yeah. At a lady's house.

98.615 - 112.605 Matt McCusker

Oh, no, so you had to do... So your routine got disturbed. You had to go now run unnecessary errands. Dude, I'm level 10 angry. As soon as an unnecessary errand disturbs the sanctity of my routine, I am fucking livid.

Chapter 4: How do the hosts deal with interruptions in their routines?

178.13 - 194.729 Matt McCusker

They fucking pasted it to the wall one time. I remember being like, I don't give a fuck. Like, why are you acting like I care? I remember it was on the wall near the basement steps. Like, yo, turn off the basement lights. Turn them all off. Yeah, just an electricity bill. I was like, oh, okay. Just 12 being like, whoa, holy shit.

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194.749 - 205.89 Matt Chandler

I should probably think about this. Yeah, I thought it was a massive charge. It's not. It's for real got to be a dollar a month. But it does piss you off when you go, turn the fucking video game off.

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206.21 - 207.192 Matt McCusker

I know. That's crazy.

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207.577 - 211.022 Matt Chandler

But you couldn't save back then, dude. You had to leave it on.

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211.122 - 212.404 Matt McCusker

Yeah, he's running old programs.

212.684 - 217.631 Matt Chandler

Everybody was pausing their game for this back in the day. It's true. You couldn't save, dude. Who had a memory card?

217.931 - 235.739 Matt McCusker

I know. And then there's someone racing your game off the memory card, but their game, that should be up there with treason. That is treasonous. It's crazy. That's treason. Yeah, I'm telling you, it happened to me. Still to this day, it's why I don't really play video games like that. Red Dead Redemption, I was a week of hard work, eight-hour days.

236.76 - 251.093 Matt McCusker

Someone erased my shit off my brother's video game. I remember coming, checking, and being like... Yeah. And just being sad for three days and being like, I'm never opening myself up to that possibility ever again.

251.113 - 252.794 Matt Chandler

Yeah, you have to shield yourself.

Chapter 5: What are the hosts' thoughts on the current state of news and politics?

360.825 - 372.499 Matt Chandler

What did they say about me? He doesn't shut the fuck up. And I was like, Ant, talk to Phil. And my dad was like, don't fucking have him talk to me. You guys, Ant, ask him about the wrestlers.

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373.846 - 398.875 Matt McCusker

it's fucking 12 hours he's just punishing you it was non-stop yeah they won't stop yeah they won't stop fucking talking i had a fucking i had to cool down my ass she was like yeah i'm six and a half right i'm like bro you're not even fucking close to six and a half don't don't come at me like that you're maybe six and a quarter not even definitely not six and you're a couple months shy six and a quarter don't don't be i've actually had that argument with a girlfriend

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401.302 - 402.916 Matt Chandler

Yeah, I'm six and a half, right?

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402.937 - 405.237

You're not even close to six and a half.

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407.14 - 420.198 Matt Chandler

You're three, dude. A couple years ago, I told the story about how I once spent my last $9 on Bud Light during an Eagles game at the Link. I really did. I was sitting up there. I went with Big Jay and Soder.

420.438 - 420.858 Matt McCusker

Oh, yeah.

420.959 - 440.949 Matt Chandler

I had to sit with Jay's family in the upper decks. I had $9 on my card. I got one Bud Light. Dang. Anyway, my friends at Bud Light found the clip, and since then, we've been working on a way to bring the story full circle when I perform at the Link. After the show, fans 21 and over can visit participating bars in Philly for a Bud Light on us.

441.671 - 452.234 Matt Chandler

Fans can visit bars in Packer Park, South Philly, Logan Square, Spring Garden, and Center City after the show for a Bud Light on us. Free Bud Light, dude. That's it.

452.675 - 453.837 Matt McCusker

Nice.

Chapter 6: How do the hosts describe their experiences at live events?

656.86 - 671.133 Matt McCusker

But yeah, it's dude, I it's, I'm telling you all the moms I talked to were always like, I swear someone was watching me. They chalked my tires in the parking lot. Yeah. We've talked to, I don't know. Yeah. I'm ready. I stay ready. I said, let it happen. It's one of my, it's one of my many fantasies.

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671.173 - 677.346 Matt Chandler

I can't wait to answer the phone and go, who is this? I'm talking about stopping in progress.

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678.49 - 680.052 Matt McCusker

Hold on. Let me sound the authorities.

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681.574 - 684.118 Matt Chandler

Every single person just goes, God.

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684.198 - 687.562 Matt McCusker

Jesus Christ. Was it going to rain? Oh, a fucking kid.

688.023 - 688.924 Matt Chandler

Yeah. Oh, great.

688.944 - 690.907 Matt McCusker

Jesus Christ. That is so loud.

691.207 - 695.814 Matt Chandler

Where'd they go? There's a flood 400 miles away.

695.834 - 699.418 Matt McCusker

Oh, okay. Which actually is stopping five ambush alerts temporarily.

Chapter 7: What humorous stories do the hosts share about their interactions with fans?

781.475 - 786.34 Bryce Turang

Two were rescued, but a man and a woman... Damn, one turned into a ninja turtle?

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786.5 - 789.784 Matt McCusker

Yeah.

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789.764 - 800.92 Matt Chandler

They found two of them. And then a man and a woman tragically drowned. I'm just trying to... Just finding the silver lining. True. Because it is a tragedy.

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801.101 - 801.662 Matt McCusker

That is sad.

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802.383 - 815.341 Bryce Turang

You'd like to imagine their lovers, maybe. Perhaps, yeah. Like in Pompeii or whatever. Yeah. They died in the flood, yeah. Unfortunately. Tragic. Well... Peace and peace. Peace and peace to the bees.

818.365 - 821.75 Matt McCusker

It is sad. Oh, man.

Chapter 8: What reflections do the hosts have about personal growth and health?

822.511 - 830.501 Matt McCusker

That's sorry, dude. The fact that it was fucking getting sucked into the sewer.

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830.521 - 843.21 Matt Chandler

And, dude, just being homeless would be like, fucking life can't get any worse. Oh shit, I'm getting flushed down the toilet. I'm getting... Literally...

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844.895 - 854.825

It is funny though.

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854.845 - 870.16 Matt McCusker

Cause like there is, you do, you are, you can be like, ah, you know, I can't handle this. I don't want to have anything to do with society, but it's like there, you have to at least stay out of the waste management, like the water management system. Like you at least get away from the stormwater drains. You know what I mean?

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870.14 - 908.337 Matt McCusker

It's everyone's responsibility to just watch out for the stormwater, man. Don't be in one of the channels that can lead you down the sewer. You've got to do that at least. It's a lesson on personal responsibility. But it's sad. It sucks, dude. Anyway. It's not good. Oh, but yes, for sure. Someone getting flushed out.

908.397 - 920.633 Matt Chandler

Their day must have been fucking hilarious. Must have been like screaming at somebody on the street. Fuck you, bitch. I'll kill you, bitch. Ah, shit.

920.613 - 925.539 Matt McCusker

You're making fun of me for having... I had a homeless day the other day. Dude, that was killing me, dude.

925.559 - 927.902 Matt Chandler

I was like, yo, you had a full fucking bum day.

929.484 - 933.208 Matt McCusker

Fell off my fucking darn bike, dude. Right down to the white meat. Still, that was a week ago.

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