Why Modern Women Feel More Lost Than Ever - Freya India - #916
episodePreviously titled “#916 - Freya India - Why Modern Women Feel More Lost Than Ever” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 2, 2026
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Why are modern women drawn to therapy culture?
Why do you think so many girls are drawn to therapy culture?
Oh, I think it's a lot of things. I do think this is kind of a cliche thing to say now, but I do think therapy culture has replaced religion. And that's not a new thing to say. People have been saying that for a long time. So Christopher Lash was writing about that in the 70s. Frank Ferudy writes about it really well now. But in recent years, since social media, I would say therapy culture has just escalated to the point where I think young women don't see it as a worldview. They just see that as kind of life. So they interpret everything through this therapeutic lens. So their lives, their relationships, their emotions. And I think it has elevated to the level of religion. So you think of all the kind of characteristics of religion, we just mimic them with therapy culture. So instead of praying, we just repeat our positive affirmations. Instead of seeking salvation, you'll go on a healing journey. Instead of resisting temptation from the devil, you'll reframe your intrusive thoughts.
How has therapy culture replaced religion for young women?
And so I think for young women in particular who are becoming less religious, this kind of therapeutic worldview has completely replaced that void.
What does a therapeutic worldview consist of? What does that mean?
What does it mean to have a therapeutic worldview?
Like seeing problems in your life, kind of pathologizing problems and experiences as something medical rather than I'm just experiencing this emotion or kind of age-old anxiety. Now it's become a medical issue. So things like talking in the language of attachment styles and trauma and losing the language of just ordinary hurt and disappointment and things like that.
And for some reason, this is giving some kind of solace or comfort to order being brought out of chaos.
I think it gives the comfort religion gives and the consolation of like, you see young women on TikTok saying things like, like they won't pray to God, but they'll give a request to the universe and like have faith in that. And so I think it gives all the comfort of religion, but it takes away the inconvenient parts. So the, any actual demands on you or kind of restrictions on your freedom or anything like that.
Being held to standards of behavior, et cetera.
So it has what women are craving in modern life, I think, which is belonging and security in something and faith in something. But it's a much easier version of religion.
Slippery religion.
Yeah.
How many of these girls are in therapy, do you think?
a lot. There was a study recently showing 32% of all 12 to 17 year olds in America have either had therapy, been on medication or had some kind of treatment in 2023. Over a single year.
One third.
Which is insane. And I was talking to someone about that statistic and they were like oh that's great that's amazing and I was thinking that's a bleak statistic um so yeah I think there's there's the girls that are in therapy which is a lot but then there's also the girls who just like living in therapy culture so it's just they scroll through Instagram and it's all about attachment styles trauma They go on TikTok and it's like a trauma informed therapist telling them like red flags they should watch out for and stuff. It's just like there's the actual therapy, which I'm sure there is. There's useful therapists, but there's also just this culture, which is just the world that they're swimming in.
Yeah, so you're never able to switch it off. I think Alain de Botton was sat in that same seat as you. Big proponent of psychotherapy. I think trained as a psychotherapist himself, too. Owned a school of life, which isn't just a YouTube channel, but a psychotherapy facility here in London.
And even he, like...
the biggest proponent of it, I think would very much say that there is a time for therapizing. Yes. And then there is a time to not, in the same way as going to the gym, there is a time to train and then there is a time to recover. And I wonder whether one of the criticisms that's common that I put to him was lots of people online, more old school people, more sort of typical stiff upper lip type people would say, you're not fixing your past problems. You're dwelling on them. And by dwelling on them, you are ruminating too much. There is some evidence. I mean, a good bit of evidence. Rumination is not particularly fantastic for you.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
Why are modern women drawn to therapy culture?
0:00–1:16
2
How has therapy culture replaced religion for young women?
1:16–1:29
3
What does it mean to have a therapeutic worldview?
1:29–5:58
4
Are religious young women faring better than secular ones?
5:58–17:59
5
Is social media reshaping the nature of relationships?
17:59–41:45
6
Why is self-diagnosis prevalent among young people?
41:45–1:05:07
7
What is driving social media addiction among youth?
1:05:07–1:27:32
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from Modern Wisdom
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