Flightless Birds, New Music, Breath Work | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 1-15-26
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What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast, and I'm just checking in on you. Woo! I'm sitting here in my living room right now. The TV has on its screen saver. And this is what I don't understand. Part of the screen saver is it looks like a school of Barracuda. Ooh, Barracuda, right? And here's my thing. I don't think I've ever seen, like, predators. They're usually by themselves. Bears, snakes, fucking... What else is a predator out there? I don't know, mountain lions? They're usually like, hey, man, you know, They respect each other. There's territories. Hey, this is my territory. I kill over here. This is my shit. That's your shit.
I mean, I guess there's a pride alliance. They're codependent. Cheetahs usually got a couple, two or three. Coyotes also. But coyotes and cheetahs are smaller. So you figure they need to do the gang tackle to bring something down But, you know, great white sharks that by themselves. Killer whales. I don't know. But there's like, dude, there's like a fucking thousand of them. Serial killers by themselves. Maybe one other person. That's a hell of a conversation. Trying to get somebody on the same page. How do you know it's okay to bring that up? I'm like, oh, God, I'm starving. I could actually eat a person right now. And then you kind of throw it out there. That person kind of lights up like, yeah, you know, that ankle bone mean isn't bad.
Sorry. Anyway, I got a lot of satisfaction one time watching like. I didn't know that ostriches can't fly. I didn't think that they could, but I just I didn't really even think about it. It's a big, stupid looking bird. And what they do is they they're like track stars. Their fucking thing, for some, I don't know why they have wings. And why they don't have arms with like claws on them. If you're just going to run away and be on the fucking ground. Yeah. Like having wings as a bird, but you can't fly is the bird version of like erectile dysfunction. You have a dick, but it's not worth it. Well, wait a minute. You can still piss with your dick, right? You're still eliminated. But, you know, they can still flap their wings, you know, get a little breeze going.
I don't know what. So these things just, they just fucking, like, the only way to catch them is if, like, you ambush them. They have to completely not be ready. Because when they, like, within, like, it's like a great running back. Like, half a step, he's at full speed. And they see the feet like they just fucking. Like they're just gone and they're over the horizon. And I think anything that can run as fast as them like runs out of gas. Like you ever see that shit? I'm all over the map. A Bugatti, which for my money is the ugliest supercar ever. There is. It's like, what if we took a Ford Edsel and we made it a supercar? Same urinal, stand-up urinal front end, right? Which I don't even think the Edsel was that bad.
I think it's like Waterworld. Waterworld is a fucking great movie, but like the press just went negative and a lot of people never saw it. It's a great fucking movie and, dare I say, was, you know, was the sea level is rising, you know? It was ahead of its time. Okay? People didn't get it. Like Roger Waters, Amused to Death. A lot of people don't get that album. Didn't get it when it came out. And years later, they're like, oh, you know what? It's actually, yeah, it's one of those things. So where the hell was I going with this? Oh, the Bugatti and the Ostrich. So Bugatti, I don't even know if I'm saying that right. Fucking Bugatti. I'm going to take boo-boo. I bet that's what they say when you have one of those cars.
You taking your boo? Do you love that car more than me? No, I love you. And then you got to fucking bang her that chick half your age so she can feel secure. And then eventually she's like, you got to knock me up or I'm going to leave you. I got to be in the well. And you're like, OK. And then you fucking fucking bust an 80 year old nut into her. And now you got a kid coming. So now she can fight off your relatives when you die.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is discussed at the start of this section?
0:01–6:53
2
What are the unique characteristics of flightless birds like ostriches?
6:53–20:07
3
How does Bill Burr relate personal experiences to his discussions?
20:07–29:51
4
What insights does Bill Burr share about modern relationships and self-esteem?
29:51–1:16:53
5
What critical moments define the Vikings' playoff performance?
1:16:53–1:17:31
6
How does Bill analyze the impact of injuries on team dynamics?
1:17:31–1:18:58
7
What strategies do Bill and Paul discuss for the upcoming games?
1:18:58–1:20:14
8
How do personal anecdotes influence the discussion about sports?
1:20:14–2:24:53
Speakers
4 identifiedMore from Monday Morning Podcast
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