Matcha, Falling Down Stairs, Destroying Books | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 7-30-26

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Monday Morning Podcast 1h 25m 2 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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Bill Burr 0:01
Oh, look who it is, everybody. Me undies, me undies. Why don't you change your drawers? Do, do, do, do. Me undies, me undies. You're smelling like a bunch of whores. All right, sorry. Me undies, everybody. You know, there's a certain confidence that comes with knowing you look good even before you leave the house.
Unknown 0:19
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Bill Burr 0:28
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Bill Burr 1:20
Who loves MeUndies? With more than 30 million pairs sold and 90,000 five-star reviews, guys everywhere are making the switch. Right now, as a listener of my show, you can get up to 50% off their subscribe and save deal. And if you don't love it, get your money back at MeUndies.com slash Burr, B-U-R-R, promo code Burr. B-U-R-R. That's up to 50% off their subscribe and save deal. And if you don't love it, you get your money back. What are you going to bitch about? At MeUndies.com slash Burr. Promo code Burr. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr. It's time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. And I'm just checking in. on you. Woo, woo, woo, woo. How's it going? How are you? How's things?
Bill Burr 2:13
Jesus Christ. It's the end of July. It's the end of July. I used to think, oh my God, this is terrible. The summer's going by so fast. Now it's just like, Jesus Christ, fucking have the planet tip away from the sun. We're going to have two seasons in the future. It's going to be called Fire and Not on Fire. Fire and what the fuck was that? That's going to be our fire and when is Jesus showing up? Anyway, oh, Billy. Oh, Billy Freckles. Oh, Billy Freckles. I haven't had a cup of coffee in a week. I've switched over to matcha. Just switching shit up. Iced oat milk matcha with a little bit of honey. You know, but I won't say, let me get a iced Odie. I don't say that. I remember there was a dog when I was a kid in my neighborhood named Odie.
Bill Burr 3:25
It was a fucking great dog, but the family got a second dog. I already had a second dog, Millie, and it was old. And then they got Odie, and Millie knew what was up. She knew that Odie was not a companion. She knew that Odie was the replacement.
Unknown 3:46
So they never bonded. It was a fucking cantankerous relationship, whatever the fuck they said. They were estranged before they were estranged.
Bill Burr 3:55
They never even vibed. And the young dog was just like, I don't know what the fuck's with that older dog. And the young dog goes, well, you wait. You wait. You hang around long enough. Someday you'll be me. You know, they fucking get into it. Very existential conversations, as I remember it. Anyway, so I've been fucking drinking this shit. I only drink one a day. Sound like one of those old people commercials. One a day, plus an iron supplement. And then I won't fucking face plant on my walker and fall sideways down some stairs. Stairs are amazing until you're like 70. You know, then you start looking at them like a fucking, you know, predator. It's funny, you know, if you saw a mountain lion in your backyard, you wouldn't fucking walk up to it.
Bill Burr 4:51
You know, but you see a flight of stairs, you never think... You know, one wrong fucking step. Remember that guy whose wives kept falling down the stairs? Before there was like, I don't know, DNA, you know, I don't know what the hell you had to do. How many times can somebody's fucking wife fall down?

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