The Christmas decorations are barely even down (Vogue's are... Obviously) and they're back to it. Joanne has tales from a mad Christmas lunch whilst Vogue plans to spend it all alone next year. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, visit: www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Chapter 1: What are the hosts' New Year plans?
We're off.
And then she was like, well, I work till the 23rd of December. And I'm like, oh, are you flu shaming me now? Because I couldn't work when I was sick.
I'm surprised Louisa's not on it. Like Louisa, for anyone who doesn't know, is Vogue's manager. Yeah, of course she is. And that woman, I actually said, Louisa, when do you sleep?
She's never off. She's like a vampire.
Yeah, she's never off.
She eats her dinner at nine o'clock. Weird. That's weird. And like she doesn't eat breakfast till like 11 in the morning. Very bad for the gut.
Very bad for the gut.
Bad timing. Strange timing. But like I can't imagine what your schedule is, Joanne. Like what time do you eat?
It's pretty laissez-faire. I've no strict dining times. It's more just kind of as they find me. Although, I will say, and the same as everyone else, over the festive season, despite my best efforts to control myself or have some dignity, I think if I counted up my calorie content, I'm basically half woman, half blubberfish now. And I've no regrets. I've no regrets. I've no regrets.
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts manage holiday overeating?
Chapter 3: What funny stories do they share about Christmas?
New year 2014. Out and wasted. Girl wanted to try on my glasses in the bathroom. Gave them to her. Went to the loo and forgot. Went back to my pals and he asked where they were. Suddenly realised I was absolutely blind. What? Had to wear my prescription sunglasses until the opticians opened on the 3rd. Was called Stevie Wonder and working there after.
He lent his glasses and didn't get them back. I didn't get them back and had no glasses. What bastard is going around? You always know when someone's really blind when you put on their glasses and you can't see, let alone see better, you can't see at all. Imagine being like, yeah, this seems perfectly okay to keep these. This person's obviously crawling around on the ground.
Do you know what I mean?
You'd be thinking they might have a spare pair if things were that bad, you know what I mean? Well, he did, but they were sunglasses. They were sunglasses. I made an idiot mistake of voice recording 23.45 minutes of my family New Year's Eve party and sent it to the guy I fancy. Oh, nice. Order Domino's 2 for Tuesdays, even though it was only me. Wild.
I'd say that you were literally so thirsty the next day. Whenever I have Domino's, I wake up and I'm like, I'm so thirsty. Is it salty? It's so, so salty. It's obviously delicious, but that's why.
I have no time for pizza.
I have a bit of news.
Jesus, go on.
It's getting announced today. It's so exciting. What? Well, you'll be happy to hear I'm finally putting my degrees to use. Go on. My construction degrees. Do you remember that time I had to go down to, what's it called? Cornwall? Remember? Yes. So I was recording a sizzle for Channel 4, which is basically like a little show to see if it will go out. And now it is going out.
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