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My Therapist Ghosted Me

THE COLDPLAY KISS CAM SCANDAL! Day 2 of the 12 Laughs of Christmas - Shouldn't Laugh But...Laura Smyth & Carmen Butcher

25 Dec 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What iconic moment involving Coldplay is discussed?

2.461 - 5.405 Unknown

This is a Global Player original podcast.

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5.986 - 14.018 Laura Smyth

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. And I forgot the rest of the words. Merry Christmas.

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14.038 - 24.694 Carmen Butcher

Merry Christmas, Lewis. Merry Christmas. It's Christmas. Oh, I love you, Combs. I wish we had a bit of mistletoe. Am I right?

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24.714 - 52.87 Laura Smyth

Am I right? You know you just did the, it's Christmas. Yeah. My dad hates Naughty Holder. Why? Tim. Tim will not allow that music, that track to be, you know, we've got the Christmas music channels on, obviously. What we're talking top five? What we're talking top five? Oh, top five Christmas songs. Oh, that one. Do you like that one? What about the Pogues?

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52.85 - 79.923 Carmen Butcher

Oh, number one. Number one. Even with the homophobic slur, which they don't mean it. They don't mean it. Isn't it when you like something, it's like, they don't mean it. They don't mean it. But what I, and also I love Feliz Navidad. Oh, that is a new entry. And do you know what else I like? Boney M. In the town of Bethlehem.

80.163 - 93.855 Laura Smyth

Yeah, that one. Feliz Navidad. I thought that was quite a new song, but it's not. No. I think it's because old, what's his face? Did he not do a remix? What's his name? Bieber. Did Bieber do a remix?

93.956 - 95.86 Carmen Butcher

Bieber's got some good tunes, man.

Chapter 2: What are the greatest Christmas songs according to Laura and Carmen?

96.221 - 99.929 Carmen Butcher

I love the Biebs. I love the Biebs.

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99.949 - 100.571 Laura Smyth

Love the Biebs.

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100.591 - 104.841 Carmen Butcher

He's so good. Obviously lost the plot and he's honourable to his wife, but I love the Biebs.

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105.602 - 110.734 Unknown

Where do you guys stand on Christmas lyrics? Because Greg Lake, I believe in Father Christmas. You know that song.

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110.967 - 114.256 Carmen Butcher

No, what is that? I'm living fine.

114.457 - 120.955 Unknown

No, one of the lines in it is, the Christmas you get is the Christmas you deserve. That's quite a strong line.

120.975 - 122.58 Carmen Butcher

Wow, that's a bit heavy. All right, mate.

122.915 - 128.103 Unknown

All right, Arnie Debs, the Christmas you get, babes, is the Christmas you deserve. Stop fucking moaning.

128.183 - 150.036 Carmen Butcher

Yeah, I love a little bit of rocky robbing. Rocking around the Christmas tree. And I love the Ronettes where it's the sleigh ride. Driving home for Christmas. Oh, Chris Rea. Chris Rea driving home for Christmas.

Chapter 3: What does Christmas morning look like in their households?

473.196 - 481.345 Carmen Butcher

Mozzarella is dead to me. Mozzarella is dead to me since burrata come along. It's mugged that little, little rubbery little c***, innit?

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481.365 - 492.958 Unknown

It's fucking buggered. Can I ask, on your cheese boards, controversial, you're having pickled onions because if you have too many pickled onions, you don't want to be following in that bathroom after. No.

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494.08 - 500.227 Laura Smyth

Farts. Just accept that you're going to fart and you're going to stink all day. Chili jam chutneys. We're going mad.

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500.748 - 505.153 Carmen Butcher

Oh, yeah. I like a little weight cracker. Oh, I love it.

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Chapter 4: How do Laura and Carmen celebrate Christmas breakfast?

505.927 - 512.918 Laura Smyth

No Rye Vita's. Rye Vita's have no place on a cheese board. No, go for a Jacob's. Jacob's always.

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512.938 - 527.26 Carmen Butcher

I love a Jacob's. Or when you do a little sweet biscuit, like a little Hovis or Digestive with a crumbly little Vins Lidl. Yes, I go crazy sometimes. I like cheese with fruitcake. Oh.

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527.741 - 531.366 Unknown

Yeah, right. We should get to an ad break now on that note.

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531.386 - 532.268 Carmen Butcher

All right, that's an ad break.

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532.288 - 533.79 Unknown

It's a killer conversation.

533.973 - 537.538 Carmen Butcher

Yeah, I've made it go a bit cold.

538.359 - 542.184 Unknown

Well, I was going to say, you know, we had a great Christmas single out called Christmas Lights.

542.724 - 553.078 Carmen Butcher

Christmas Lights. We're giving the clues. Speaking of board games, what is our favourite viral moment? Coming up next. Maybe we'll do Gerard.

562.19 - 562.41

MUSIC PLAYS

Chapter 5: What are the essential elements of a perfect cheese board?

1059.107 - 1083.218 Carmen Butcher

But we want your stupid stories. Listen to this. Tweet us. Slide into our DMs. Where is bored with our families as you lot are? Jesus. And we also want your Christmas drama. Was there a secret Santa disaster? Was there a thong wrapped up for an old aunt instead of a Werther's original? Tell us all we love it. Did you find out your dad weren't really your dad? Yes, we want to know.

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1083.999 - 1104.986 Carmen Butcher

We need some Christmas drums. Oh, we do. We need a Coldplay video. Christmas drums. We need, yeah. Did you give someone your heart and the very next day they gave it away? R.I.P. George. R.I.P. George, don't. Oh, my God. It's the 10th anniversary. No, no, 9th anniversary today. Is it Christmas Day?

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1105.046 - 1108.511 Unknown

I thought it was Boxing Day. Is it Christmas Day? No, it's Christmas Day. It was Christmas Day.

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1109.032 - 1111.175 Carmen Butcher

Last Christmas. Oh, my God, this is George Michael Day.

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1111.215 - 1113.278 Unknown

At least he's got the Christmas number one.

1114.439 - 1115.36 Carmen Butcher

Has he got the Christmas number one?

1115.841 - 1117.243 Unknown

Yeah, wham, get it every year.

1117.578 - 1118.724 Carmen Butcher

Do I get it every year now?

1118.764 - 1123.267 Unknown

Yeah, of course. George passed away and it's for a good cause. All the money goes to Terry.

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