Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What unique challenges arise from recording a podcast across a 14-hour time difference?
This is a Global Player original podcast.
I would be fanny fluttering back into the sack. I'd be done. I would never lie to you to your face, but I will lie to you via text message.
The reason for my trip to St. Barts is to buy another crustacean. So I have been looking at crabs. Yes.
Oh, I don't understand dollars now. I work in crypto now. Scrap everything. We're moving to Mars.
Chapter 2: What essential items should you buy while shopping in the Caribbean?
Joe, put in the to-dos.
Put in the to-dos, Joe.
Chapter 3: How do crabs factor into the conversation about personal experiences?
We're off. We're off. get my first tattoo please tell me it's not just something you saw yesterday on the internet I saw yesterday on the internet okay hello and welcome to my therapist ghost of me this is probably the furthest apart we've ever recorded Joanne is in Melbourne
Melbourne. Melbourne. Melbourne. Yeah. Melbourne. With the... Yeah. I say... Folk, you know I can't bear an abbreviation of breakfast. When I say... Joe, have you ever been to Melbourne?
I have only ever been to Sydney, Australia. Never Melbourne.
Oh, God.
I know. Sydney's stunning.
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Chapter 4: What are the hilarious moments from the live tour experience?
Sydney's stunning as well. So mainstream. For the people of Sydney.
So mainstream. I know. It's all about Melbourne. The food... Like when I, I remember the first time I went to America, I thought I was going to be like, the food was going to be off the charts and it wasn't. It was just normal food, like normal, regular food. No offense to the Americans. The food, no offense to the Americans, obviously. GerardMcLeod.com, full tour, September, October.
But, the food in Melbourne, is off... Vogue, do you remember it? The sandwiches are like works of art. Like, I cannot get over it. It is insane. The food is fucking insane. The coffee is shocking. It's so good. I just don't understand. There's a lot of talk about the coffee now. I'll be honest. I like an Azera. I like to just power through my... I like a dried Nescafe.
So the coffee's kind of wasted on me. But there's a restaurant down the road because of the way I operate... And like loads, loads of people are the same. If I like something, I like it. And I'll just go back and back and back again and again and again, like a, like a rat up a drain pipe. And there's a restaurant that I went to originally called Juno's.
So I've now been back to Juno's every day for the last 4.5 days. And it is.
Why break it? Why? If it's not, if it's not broken, don't fix it.
Keep going. I go in, I'm like, Hey Helen.
Hey Dan. I'm in. Maybe you did that in South Africa as well. I just feel like if you find somewhere good. Now, maybe not the intensity that you do, but I assume you're working your way through the menu. I assume there has been more than a chicken salad.
No, no, no, no. Poached chicken, Asian greens.
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Chapter 5: What are some nostalgic TV shows and movies being revisited?
Yeah. I want to drink a Joe Malone triple bit candle. I want to feel the fucking burn.
Oh, God. Do you know what? That's probably why you're never sick. There's no way anything is getting inside that throat of yours.
Because I'm always sick. Yeah, exactly. So I'm never sick because I'm always, exactly. I have no tonsils. I shrank them. I burnt them off. It's gas. It's hilarious, yeah. So what else have you been doing in Melbourne? Well, the tour started today.
Also, can I just say, I did that thing that I tend to do where I forget that I'm actually, I have a job that I have to sell tickets and I just rock out to Australia and I'm like chilling by the pool, drinking my...
little glasses of petrol and then Alana the promoter texts me going you know you still have like 400 tickets to sell in Australia I was like shit I totally forgot Sydney, Perth extra dates additionals websites joannmcclyde.com I went to the first the opening night of the Aussie tour tonight in Melbourne in the comedy theatre now the clock the clock broke on the sorry Joanne in the words of David Beckham be honest the clock didn't break I just stopped looking at it
You broke. Guess how long? Hour 40. Hour 40. What the fuck did you know that?
Because I can guess, I can guess where you'll go to. I just, I honestly know you so well now that I could just, I just know. Because you'd probably, you wouldn't be able to do more than an hour 40 because you wouldn't. Well, you probably would.
I'd pay a good an hour. So I lost track of the clock and then I wasn't sure. And that just didn't make any sense to me anymore. So I just stopped looking at it.
Hang on, did you tell us a lie? Did you then tell us?
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts feel about the upcoming NASA Artemis 2 mission?
I said, Gigi, we're all going out. I have a little basket for you to go out and collect the eggs. She didn't want to get involved because she said she's not good at it and everybody will get more eggs than her. So she just didn't want to get involved at all.
She's a woman after my own heart. I'm the same. If I feel I'm not going to excel, I've no fucking time for it. And I have actually noticed watching her stories recently, she is getting a little lazy. Even I've noticed that.
Yeah.
She just sits there in colors.
That's what Gigi does. Yeah, she's going to be an artist. Just let her be. She won't get in the pool because I won't let her wear a bikini.
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Chapter 7: What humorous anecdotes are shared about space travel and astronauts?
So every day we have bikini wars. What? Yeah, where I bring her because she has one bikini she's allowed to wear at home in the pool, which has now made its way down to the beach because I just couldn't handle the wars anymore because she only wants to wear a bikini. I'm like, Gigi, You're five. You're wearing swimsuits.
You're not just getting to wear bikinis because I want her arms and stuff covered up from the sun. So we have full wars about like, and I mean, that girl can hold out. She's like, I'm not going swimming today. And she will not go swimming. Can she hold out?
That's gas. I wonder where she got that from. I have no idea. Wonder where she got the stubborn mule. Stubborn mule in a bikini. Where did that aesthetic come from? That's mad.
I've absolutely no idea. That is mad.
Easter to me growing up was Lent, obviously. Huge thing. Ash Wednesday. You look like you got shot in the head for 24 hours. Joe, I don't know if you do that in your land.
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Chapter 8: What are the implications of the latest space exploration missions?
We go and kind of roll around. A priest just kind of... dumps an ashtray on her forehead for the day and then everyone kind of smugly walks around being like I went to mass I'm better than you and then Lent kicks off and obviously my mother was like give up chocolates give up sweets because it was the 80s so your mother was like you're fat right so then everyone gets those sweets and sugars
And then all my uncles and aunties, every time they visit, they bring sweets and sugars and then we put them all in a huge biscuit tin and we save them for Lent. Sorry, for Easter Sunday. And then Easter Sunday, 6am, I'm down, I'm in the tin. It's feral. There's fucking turtles. You don't get eggs. I had mountains of shit to get through before I could even get to the egg in a Whisper Cup.
And they all came in a Whisper Cup. They came in a cup. So I ate the whole tin, whole tin, and then I'd vomit everywhere because I would eat like nine Turkish Delights, seven Whispers, a couple of Royal Bars, Marathons, as they were called in my day, Jo. And it was just absolute carnage chaos. It was fucking a mess. And then you start your eggs.
Oh, God.
Yeah, and then your mum would dress you up and put you in a little dress and drive you to your auntie Breed's and then you'd eat more chocolate, more sweets, and then you'd pass out... At about 9pm and then you get up and you think you're allergic to pineapple because you had a piece of pineapple at about 8.30pm the night before and you got sick and then you blamed the pineapple.
We've got a bit of nostalgia stuff going on this year. Hannah Montana, 20-year reunion aired. There was also a 13 going on 30 reboot that's been announced. There's a new Harry Potter TV series that's been dropped. The Devil Wears Prada 2 is out soon. Buffy, well, it was going to have a reboot.
Yeah, I was like, that got pulled. I don't know what happened there. She's not fucking happy.
Sorry, Michelle. I think it's, is it because the, I think someone died. Your man died from the cast.
Yeah. He passed away and it was actually really sweet. She did this lovely post about the fact that he'd said to her once, it's very hard being... like near to the limelight, but not in the limelight. And she was like, you were always in the limelight for me. It was kind of, it was quite sad. I know. I know.
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