444: Dwarves: Ortnit Wit
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What disclaimer and content warning are given at the start of the episode?
Quick disclaimer, there's a very brief mention of sexual assault on today's episode. Please see the post on mythpodcast.com for more info. This time, on Myths and Legends, it's the story of the legendary hero Ortnett and his deal with the dwarves. We'll see the virtues of tackling children on a nice walk, because you're the hero, and how you might think dating is difficult, but you probably haven't had to engineer an 18-month siege to do so. The creature this time is not Bowser, but is the most Bowser-like monster I've ever talked about on this podcast. Yeah. This is Myths and Legends, episode 444, Ortonet Wit. This is a podcast where we tell stories from mythology and folklore. Some are incredibly popular tales you might think you know, but with surprising origins, and others are stories that might be new to you, but are definitely worth a listen.
We told the story of Dietrich of Byrne and the Dwarf Lorraine back in episode 292, Dwarf Fortress, and I offhandedly ended the episode with: Hey, if you want to hear more about this guy, let me know. I've actually received kind of a lot of requests for more of those stories. That led to me diving into the legends and discovering this rich tapestry of just the weirdest guys. We'll get back to Dietrich of Bern, but the story doesn't start with him. It starts with his grandfather, Wolf Dietrich. Wolf Dietrich's story ties into another one, which, even though it's one of the first stories we've told in this podcast and To call the quality iffy is an insult to iffy things everywhere. It does remain one of the most popular stories on here, the saga of the Volsungs, or the Nibelungen Lide.
That story helped to inspire parts of Lord of the Rings. Anyway, today we're not telling the story of Dietrich of Byrne or even Wolf Dietrich, but we're going even farther back to a world of dwarves, giants, and heroes. We're actually going all the way back to creation, but not the first creation, a patch that was a was applied in the early Middle Ages to help all of us humans out.
So creation's going well, one angel said to the other. The other looked up from his desk. W was that for real? Okay, maybe it was the fourth century. Going well is a very relative term. Is it going well compared to the third century where the world was in crisis? Maybe. But whole kingdoms and empires are being annihilated. There's chaos everywhere. Invading armies of hungry people pushed to the fringes for too long are coming for blood. And I've seen the trailer for this thing coming up with the working title of The Dark Ages, which doesn't sound great. It wasn't for real, it was rhetorical, the other angel said. People are in need. And we've decided to throw in a couple more creations to help them out. The folder hit the desk and slid.
The working angel flipped it open. Dwarves? He felt a little uncomfortable. That's not an okay term, actually. If his supervisor was referring to people of short stature, they exist. They're not a new creator. Creation, their people? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no, it's not. These are totally different. These are supernatural beings we're gonna make. We're gonna start out in the Germanic regions, but then who knows? Maybe we'll go wide with them. Okay, they look really cool. Muscles, long hair, beards, though I Realize it kind of describes a lot of people in Europe at this time, but how are they gonna help people? the angel said as he mulled over the folder. Oh, well, some of us noticed that humans were leaving a lot of God's gifts in the ground.
The supervisor angel laughed. So we're gonna make these to find them and mine them out. Oh, gifts like medicine and Education and empathy? The angel at the desk asked. The other angel laughed. Good one no. Gold, silver, jewels, magic stones, and rings. How are those gonna help people? Um how do you think people are gonna pay for medicine, education, and empathy? The supervisor angel asked. I just think that maybe the golden jewels will end up in the hands of the people who are already hoarding all the money and power, and we'll be right back where we started, the angel at the desk said.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What disclaimer and content warning are given at the start of the episode?
0:01–7:46
2
How does the episode introduce the Volsung saga and its influence on later myths?
7:46–16:51
3
Why do the angels decide to create dwarves, giants, and knights in early medieval Europe?
16:51–23:22
4
What role does the dwarf Albrich play in the deal with King Ortnett?
23:22–30:46
5
How does King Ortnett acquire the magical sword Rose, the armor, and the cursed ring?
30:46–39:04
6
What happens when Ortnett faces the dragon while wearing the supposedly invincible armor?
39:04–47:18
7
How does the story resolve after the dragon’s defeat and the fate of the kingdom?
47:18–55:05
8
What final reflections and take‑aways does the host share at the end of the episode?
55:05–1:04:04