Matt Rife: A Joke About Getting on the "Nice" List"

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Netflix Is A Daily Joke 3 min 2 speakers 6 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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How does Matt Rife introduce the idea of the 'nice' list and holiday gifts?

Matt Rife 0:05
Okay, if we're gonna talk about presents, we have to talk about how you get the presents, right? Not everybody gets gifts for Christmas. you gotta end up on the list, right? Gotta make the nice list. Everybody knows Santa has a list, checks it twice. If you've been good that year, you end up on the nice list, you get gifts. If you were not nice this year, you end up on the naughty list, you don't get any gifts at all. I think that's a very important tradition. I think a lot of us should take further into life. I think at the end of each year, we should all do a little self-reflecting and think back, say, wow, was I nice this year? Was I a good person? Did I maybe do something selfless?

Why does Matt suggest year-end self-reflection like checking the 'nice' vs 'naughty' list?

Matt Rife 0:40
Could I have helped somebody out? Is there something I could improve on for next year? Or did I end up on the naughty list? Which is easier to end up on. It's a lot more fun for sure. But I think we should all strive to be as nice as possible. Even if it doesn't end nice, at least try. I try to make the nice list every year. And no matter what city I'm in for the last show before Christmas, I'll do a toy drive. I'll invite all the audience members to bring a toy.

What motivates Matt to organize a toy drive at his last show before Christmas?

Matt Rife 1:05
I'll go buy a couple hundred toys. We donate them to like whatever the local children's hospital is in the city. It feels like a selfless thing to do. It's nice to do something for somebody else. There's a lot of moms there who are about to have a lot of free time on their hands. So it kind of skews naughty just a little bit. And I'm curious if there's anybody in here who did anything this year who might have wound them up on the naughty or nice list. I'll stay up here all night. Right here.
Audience Member 1:40
Um, my husband had kidney troubles for years, and this year he needed a kidney, so I tested to possibly be a donor for him. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to because of my own medical history, but my new son-in-law, they had only been married a month, donated his kidney to him.
Matt Rife 2:04
No way!
Audience Member 2:08
doing great and living life.
Matt Rife 2:10
That's crazy.

How does Matt describe the atmosphere and reactions at the toy-drive shows?

Audience Member 2:11
The funny thing is, I don't know if you know, they don't actually replace a kidney. They give him a third kidney.
Matt Rife 2:17
I did not know that. So sir, you have three kidneys right now?
Audience Member 2:21
Yes, I do.
Matt Rife 2:21
No way. Do you feel more full? No, but I can actually feel it. They put it in the front. You can really feel it up front? Yeah. No way. Like a little fanny pack. Oh, that's pretty awesome. He said the son-in-law had only been married to your daughter for about a year?
Audience Member 2:39
No, like a... Month and a half?
Matt Rife 2:42
Month and a half.
Audience Member 2:43
They found out on their honeymoon that he was a match.

What surprising story does an audience member share about donating a kidney to a family member?

Matt Rife 2:46
No way. What a ruin their vacation. That's pretty... Yeah, where the fuck are your kidneys? They're in the back. They're in the back there? And they put one up front now? That seems dangerous. You seem easy to fight. Now. Too old to get in a fight, so it's okay that it's now. Too old to get in a fight. I love that.

How does Matt respond comedically to the audience member's three-kidney story and wrap up the bit?

Matt Rife 3:07
Give me your fucking wallet. Right now. No. Because now that I know you won't defend yourself, this is good. Watch Matt Rife Unwrapped. Only on Netflix.

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