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New Rory & MAL

Episode 446 | Wild Greasy Palm

23 Jan 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 3.575 Unknown

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.

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5.878 - 9.483 Daniel Alarcon

I'm Daniel Alarcón, and this is my friend who's much more famous than I am.

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9.783 - 14.69 John Green

I wouldn't go that far, but I'm John Green, co-host of the podcast The Away End with my old friend Daniel.

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14.87 - 26.865 Daniel Alarcon

On our podcast The Away End, we'll share with you the magic of international football, all leading up to the 2026 World Cup. Together, we'll find out why, of all the unimportant things, football, soccer, is the most important.

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27.031 - 42.106 John Green

Listen to The Away End with Daniel Alarcon and John Green on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

43.89 - 56.069 Unknown

We are back. Visually on YouTube. It's the last time. For the time. It's the last time for the time. Last time for the time. We will be on Netflix next week. Yes, sir.

Chapter 2: Why is the podcast moving from YouTube to Netflix?

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Big applause just from Josh and our studio audience. Yes, sir. Yes. New Roy Moore will be on Netflix. I got my Netflix red on today. I can see that. Yeah. It's my Netflix red. They go on Netflix when you look in the mirror like, nah, this... Okay, I went Netflix on them today, you know what I'm saying? Gave Netflix your leg? I mean, you know, I had to go Netflix red on them.

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And I didn't even see what you did. All the way down. Come on, man. What's up? Why are you laughing, man? I'm here, man. What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up? Down to the socks. No, no, no. I got some. Stay Netflix down to the socks. I mean, to the sneakers, not to the socks. Yeah. Well, yes, we will be on Netflix starting next week. All you have to do is open your Netflix app.

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There'll be, there'll be a way you can find the podcast or type in new Roy mall. We'll put the link up on socials. You can even close your phone and listen to it. That's right. So not much is going to change. It's actually even better. Yeah, I think so. You can watch it on your phone. You can watch it on your computer, TV.

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And if you feel like just being on the go, just close that app and go audio only. Just listen to us, man. Listen to what we got to say because we got something to say. But no, I'm excited. We got a lot to say today. What's up, Baby D? Baby D went Netflix red on the hair. You see it. Yeah, you know. You ain't see the Netflix red on the hair.

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Wait for niggas to buy a 70 inch TV and put me on it on Netflix. You know. Baby D can't wait to hurt inside his heels. She can't wait. Yo, can you... Baby D, why you can't wait to get, never mind. Relax, relax, relax. A lot of content in that yellow tee.

Chapter 3: What are the pros and cons of a bowling date?

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On my way here, I saw like five stories of Damaris in this fit. She's doing a photo shoot with Peej on the couches. I see why you're trying to get the content. I'm telling y'all, Baby D had a light bulb. She had something. No, stop saying that because people actually fucking believe you. They don't know that you're joking. Well, that's good though. I want them to believe.

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They believe everything else. And it's a compliment if they think that and you really didn't. no yeah no i did not i got an ovary removed y'all not no fat from the side like what the fuck you got a rib removed i got an ovary oh i think so you got a rib The rib is next. I ain't gonna lie. I'm so motherfucking tired of going to the gym. That's because you're Christian. Oh, man.

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But no, I see the girls is out today. Is the period boobs? That's why they sitting? No. Okay. No. You know, I'm just, I'm feeling good. Feeling good. We going into Netflix. You just happy. You just smiling. Let me see your text though. What? Oh boy. They never understand when you say, let me see your text. People don't know this is about eight feet between the two of them.

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She heard everything else I said talking about what? Anyways, man, we are back, sponsored by Boost. And today, I think just specifically, Ozempic is one of our forward-facing sponsors. Naturally, Ozempic will be one of the sponsors. And we have to say this because, you know, you have to, with every drug, there are side effects. Of jealousy, yes.

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Yes, you may get skinny, but you also may have feminine tendencies. Yep. So just be careful with the Ozempic. Eat it. You got to take Ozempic after a meal. You have to eat first. So you have, you know, food in your stomach. You can't just like fast and then take Ozempic. Yeah. Cause you know what I'm saying? You start becoming jealous. Sometimes the tone of your voice gets weird. Yeah.

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It's just like, it's just nastiness, man. You know? But you know. Sometimes you gotta mix it up till it crack. What's up with you? You came in here feeling good, looking better. I always feel good, man. You know, I always feel good, man. Just, you know, just happy to see the crew today. You know what I'm saying? That's all. You know what I mean? Yeah, just happy to see the crew. Man, what?

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It's a good time. It's a great time. The snowstorm could take us off the map, so we may as well enjoy it now. Listen, man, we're supposed to be getting some winter apocalypse snow. So we saw that snow in Russia. Did y'all see that snow in Russia? Well, that was AI. No, it was not. Some of the photos ended up being AI, but yes. I've seen them actually jumping off the roof, sliding down.

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That was crazy. Yeah, I mean, listen. Why we can't get that here in New York? We need that type of snow.

Chapter 4: How does the conversation shift to relationships and dating advice?

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And their form of government, too. I know you're really into it. Oh, man, I love it. That's the results you get. Well, no, Maul and I had a Netflix call this morning, and I wanted to say on that call, like, yeah, we're ready for next week, but we may not show up to work on Monday. Yeah, we may not. I don't know what's going to happen with the storm.

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And this isn't local talk, because this shit is hitting all of the South. Yeah. Florida's about to get six feet or so. Nashville, Virginia. Texas is fucked. It's supposed to be bad. I think as we record this, Texas is about to be under ice right now. If Drake doesn't shoot Iceman content on his ranch, this is a missed opportunity. I do want to add the Jay-Z and Drake jars for our episode.

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Like moving forward for Netflix, we have to have the jars. And then we can donate all that money to a charity of your choice. We might need more jars. We might need a J. Cole jar at this point. At this point, I think we might need it. And that's not me bringing up J. Cole. I'm just bringing up the jar. It's because you're charitable and you want to donate to J. Cole's charity.

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We could get one of those gallon water things and just, yeah. Because it gets part of us. We got to start taxing ourselves. It's our last YouTube episode. It's a few jars we need. It's a few. Rory, before you go to criticize somebody, you got to get him props first. We need that jar. The give props jar? You can't give somebody props. No, before Rory go to criticize somebody, he got to...

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Don't kill me because I like this person. They're really talented, but we got to get that. Oh, so the butt jar. Yeah, the butt jar. The butt jar. I like the butt jar. Yeah, I like the butt jar too. But see, that's why I know Damaris is so phony because off mic, one time she was like, yo, I understand why you say that before you do your takes because she was getting killed for a take.

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And she's like, now I see why you like preference everything because you already know what everyone's going to say in the comments. It don't matter anyway. When you give a take. They're going to cut out everything before the butt anyway. Oh, for sure.

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They gonna cut out everything before the bus So fuck it Say whatever the fuck you wanna say Fuck it We on Netflix now Netflix cool with it Fuck you niggas Clip that. Damn. Clip that I said that. Fuck you, nigga. All right, baby. Get your shit off there. Yeah, that's... Come on now. You said we leaving with a bang. Like, what's up? Yeah, listen. We here, man. We here. Let's talk about it, man.

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Last episode on YouTube for the foreseeable future. Well, there'll still be clips on YouTube. We'll still be able to access... We'll still be active on our YouTube. Some things there, but yeah. Full episodes will be on Netflix. And audio, it'll be across the board everywhere that you get audio podcasts. And we'll also be adding some things to Patreon as well.

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oh for sure yeah so we'll still be active on other platforms other areas we're just moving we're we're we're moving we're moving over to netflix avenue yeah um and seeing what those condos over there look like so yeah man it's got to pass go a few more times time to have fun let's have some fun um but shit all right this week um i mean we we have to continue unfortunately talking about we'll have the jar tomorrow okay

Chapter 5: What are the implications of going to therapy on a first date?

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Let's go to therapy. Saying $200 is gonna be way more fun. Yeah, but at least my stomach is full after like a $200 dinner. You a vegan. I will feed you some carrots. That's $5. You'll be full then. Why are you still throwing carrots? I took you to a beautiful vegan spot. You love the food. Ready to take one of your niggas there. See, like I eat good. Stop doing that. See, you trying carrots.

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No, it's not just carrots. We didn't have one fucking carrot when we went out to eat, did we? I'm sure they had. It was no carrots. We didn't have no carrots, Peach. There was no fucking carrots. My bad. I'm sorry. See, stop trying. A whole lot of mushrooms. I'll feed you some mushrooms. Well, thank you. I love mushrooms. Thank you. I don't know. I think we should do that. One of y'all.

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I'm not dating.

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Chapter 6: How do personal relationships influence podcast dynamics?

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Therapy on the first date? Yeah, but go to therapy on the first date. We can call 1-800-BETTER-HELP on the first date. Like on the three-way. As long as you use code RORINGMALL. Because, you know, it's really rough around Valentine's Day. Around the holidays, it gets rough. Do you guys have Valentines? No. Mara? Oh, I hate a nigga with a daughter, y'all. I hate a nigga with a daughter.

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Every time. You got a daughter. What you want to do? I need to show her what it's supposed to be like to be treated on Valentine's Day. No, baby. I don't have one yet. His mom. Well, that's every day. But yeah, no, I don't have a Valentine's yet. Okay. Well, I hope you find one. I hope one finds me. That's usually how the stars work. Don't do that to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

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Rest in peace to Combat Jack. They used to have a therapist on their show pretty often. Even Taxa eventually, I think, did an episode with that therapist as well. Like, should we bring a therapist to the show one day? Well, we did. We tried that at your house. His jeans leaked out of your couch. That was not a therapist. That was Eden's mans. He was a therapist.

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Chapter 7: What misconceptions exist about jail experiences?

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No, no, no. Guys, I'm talking about, I know therapists. Like, I'll have my therapist. Matter of fact. It was Hector. It was Blackface Hector. No, the blackface ended up on my couch. Yo, please. Oh, my God. Oh, I hate cool therapists. Rory's couch looked like Jalen Brown doping for a loose ball. That's hilarious. Uh, but no, maybe we talk to better help and get a real therapist to do a segment.

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Cause I, I think this, this pod could use some therapy, like amongst each other, not, not like focus on your individual life, just as a pod and how we operate and you know, you undercutting Damaris and her being mean to me. Like, I think there's, there's things we could work through. Okay. Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm with that. I'm going to have a therapist on. Why not? Let's do it.

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I just want to see you in therapy. It may need to be a two-part episode where one episode is dedicated just to you and then Damaris and I can be like part two or whatever. Yeah, no, let's have a therapist on. I'm down. We do need to get back to our Spread Em segment sponsored by Hard Rock Bet. Spread Em! More. Well, all right. Is Maul more spreaded than me? I know it's not a word.

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Because I'm up 6'2 right now. Maul is 4'4. So, I don't know. Is Maul more spread out than I am at this point? Nah, 4'4 is closed cheeks. Um, yeah, we've been doing this the last two weeks, uh, with the NFL playoffs. I am six and two with my bets so far with the spread mall is four and four. We are now at the AFC championships and the NFC championship, um, Patriots minus five at the Broncos.

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And then we have the Rams at Seahawks minus two and a half. We can start with the Patriots. Um, this one, I don't really know is, is it much of a debate? I think the Patriots should be minus 21. Yeah. Broncos don't have a quarterback. I don't know. We could get a Tom Brady experience with the Broncos. Everyone's saying that the Patriots are going to steamroll the Broncos. Who knows?

Chapter 8: How does the 'Drop Your Flag' movement impact street culture?

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I don't know. I'm still taking the Patriots minus five, but we could have a game. It's mile high. Drake May, maybe he doesn't know how to play up there. I don't know. I'm taking the Patriots minus five. I think everyone on earth is taking the Patriots minus five. Yeah. But... This could be your time to take the bet with the Broncos. No. You know what? Can I double back?

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I know we make the rules here. I'm taking the Broncos, bro. You're taking the Broncos. I think we may have some miracle in mile high. All right. I think the Patriots are going to win the Super Bowl, but I don't know. I don't know if this is going to be the game that we think it could be. Every now and then, Every decade you get one of those random fucking games of like, how did this happen?

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That is true. Yeah. And, you know, because this is fun and we just have a punishment at the end of the AFC and NFC championships. I'm going to take the risk here. I'm going to go. I'm going to go Broncos. All right. Broncos with a plus five. Plus five. OK. Yeah, I'm taking the Patriots minus five. I'll take that. Watch the Patriots win just by a field goal, and now you're naming 1,000 rappers.

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Nah, they're going to win by more than that. It's going to be a rough game. I think they're going to blow the Broncos out. All right, if it was Patriots at home, of course, no matter what. I do think Mile High may add something into it. That's nothing. The Patriots, that's no element that they're not used to. Drake May, has he played? I don't think he's played Denver yet.

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Yeah, but I mean, Denver, Boston, is the weather that much different?

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altitude man it's the mile high city it's a mile keep the nose down where we're at right now denver is a mile above us he spoke to tom he spoke to tom keep the nose down that's all when you go to the mile high keep the nose down that's all nose low you know they put that clip up with tom brady doing that and somebody commented i don't think announcers are allowed to do this

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Tom was teaching everybody all the fundamentals. Yeah, man. Keep the nose low. That's all. This one is ironic. I think a bit more of a debate. Rams at Seahawks. Seahawks minus two and a half. Seahawks got super busy last week. I'm still taking the Seahawks in this one. I'll take the Rams. Okay. Who do you think is going to win? Forget the spread. The Rams. Okay. Yeah. I like the Rams.

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Low key, I think the Rams might win the Super Bowl. Listen, man. I didn't think they were going to beat the Bears. Patriots fan, but I think watching the Rams, they just look like a Super Bowl winning team. I wouldn't be mad at a Patriots-Rams Super Bowl or Patriots-Seahawks.

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I'd like to see Patriots-Seahawks just because we've had, even though it's whole different squads, tired of the Patriots-Rams Super Bowl. Well, we had Patriots-Seahawks Super Bowl. I know, but that was so long ago. Yeah. Haven't we had like two Patriots-Rams Super Bowl since? And listen, Pete Carroll, it was a fluke last time. Just hand the ball to the fucking, like, what are we doing?

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