No Such Thing As A Fish

349: No Such Thing As Tug of War for Clowns

27 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, Anna, Andrew and James discuss humidity, humility and a highly dangerous activity.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, mer...

348: No Such Thing As Infinite Toilet Paper

20 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, Anna, Andrew and James discuss burglary tools, hornet tales, and infinite tiles.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merch...

347: No Such Thing As A Bacon Scented Sleep Mask

13 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, Anna, Andrew and James discuss prisons, escapes, chess and why you can never have too much spam.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about l...

346: No Such Thing As An Unsexy Astronaut

06 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, Anna, Andrew and Major Tim Peake discuss an out of this world diet, the last species on Earth, and what Tom Collins has been saying behind all of...

345: No Such Thing As A Sideways Treadmill

30 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss a swearing mongoose, gangster candy and the wickedest man in the world in this year's Hallowe'en special. 

344: No Such Thing As The Icelandic Trampoline Corps

23 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss American Spooks, Indian Athletes and French Donkeys.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merc...

343: No Such Thing As A Dolphin In An Escape Room

16 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss bodacious inventions, heinous nuclear errors and most triumphant costume design. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for n...

342: No Such Thing As A Presidential Fight Club

09 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the most badass members of the Roosevelt family, the legend of Barry Towncouncil, and what on Earth a not-a-bird i...

341: No Such Thing As A May-I Sandwich

02 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Rhys Darby discuss dog dramas, wacky walks, and killer Kiwis.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchand...

340: No Such Thing As A Didgeridoo in a Bar

25 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss immobile fish, inedible sandwiches and incredible traffic jams. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live sh...

339: No Such Thing As A Penguin in a Nightclub

18 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Anna, James, Andy and Tom Scott discuss flashing lights, measuring trees and naughty penguins Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows,...

338: No Such Thing As Carthaginian YouTube

11 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Jenny Ryan discuss criminal times, baffling crimes and spurious rhymes. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows,...

337: No Such Thing As A Triangular Rectangle

04 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss advanced spatial mathematics, linguistic philosophy and a really really big cow Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for ne...

336: No Such Thing As A Delicious Emergency Salad

28 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Sara Pascoe discuss DNA, 747s and TMI from a certain beetle. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandis...

335: No Such Thing As A Cardigan For Ginger Rogers

21 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Sandi Toksvig discuss Bargain Hoovers, Hidden Rivers and Ginger Rogers Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, m...

334: No Such Thing As A Babysitter's Trade Union

14 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss swimming, wrestling, necking, and a very unfortunate giraffe. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live show...

333: No Such Thing As Fingerprints On The Avocados

07 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

A show of outtakes from the last four months. Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Fingerprints, silly walks, figs, dunes and much much more.  Visit n...

332: No Such Thing As An Innocent Apple

31 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss stickers, smartphones and a man who spent a lot of time cooped up. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about liv...

331: No Such Thing As A Queen In A Fig Tree

24 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Kings of Leon, debate some Mule-y Chambers, and find out Whose Snacks are on Fire Visit nosuchthingasafish.com ...

330: No Such Thing As An Antarctic Vindaloo

17 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss rocks of ages, cool treads and disco moles. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise an...

329: No Such Thing As A Female Cereal Mascot

10 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ostriches, tigers and a history's loneliest crab Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandis...

328: No Such Thing As A Romantic Lollipop

03 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Summer Homes, Summer Treats and Sunday Trading Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise ...

327: No Such Thing As A SCUBA Diver In A Tree

26 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Spies, Flies and Tornado Lies Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes...

No Such Thing As The iSausage

22 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Extra Bits Special: Dan, James, Anna & Andy discuss Sausages, Eels and Unusual Swords in a bonus episode to raise money for the Care Workers Chari...

326: No Such Thing As An Infortunate Occurrence

19 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss a sure fire way to get a million quid, the secret of word peace, and why some people are more gullible than others. ...

325: No Such Thing As An Earwig Family Zoom Chat

12 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss medieval knights, 1001 nights, and French day trippers.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, m...

324: No Such Thing As Mambo No. 2

05 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Shameful Tunes, Moving Dunes and Historic Cartoons Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchand...

323: No Such Thing As Floating Vaseline

29 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss what vaseline does in water; why an owl was found in an owl; and why you need to always keep in the lines. Visit no...

322: No Such Thing As A Crown Of Willie Thornes

22 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

James, Anna, Andy & Dan discuss dizzy monks, soggy cheese and slimy sausages.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandi...

321: No Such Thing As A Frothy Beer

15 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

James, Anna, Andy & Dan discuss chalk giants, corn circles and what the Mayans got right in 2012.   Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about ...

320: No Such Thing As A Hairy Gearstick

08 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

James, Anna, Andy & Dan discuss the Greatest Showman, the Longest Limo and the World's Most Dangerous Mirrors Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for ne...

319: No Such Thing As 19th Century Feudal Japanese Monopoly

01 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

James, Anna, Andy & Anne Miller discuss the Amazon, Jumanji, Loofahs and Ooya! Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandis...

318: No Such Thing As 'Of Quails and Men'

24 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

James, Anna, Andy & Historian Greg Jenner discuss forks, eggs, ants, and why American audiences can be a little too Kean.  Visit nosuchthingasaf...

317: No Such Thing As Panic Buying Frankincense

17 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss innovations in socks, a sure-fire way to win the lottery, and the worst place to keep your small change.  Visit no...

316: No Such Thing As a Leg Made from Milk

10 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Meaty Biscuits, Leather Baths and Other Strange Tails.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, me...

315: No Such Thing As Tedious Moss

03 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Plato, pizza and pliable planes.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more epi...

314: No Such Thing As A Tiny Ferris Wheel

27 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss 4-D, I.D., STDs and why we're all a little bit jealous of Jessica Alba.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news abo...

313: No Such Thing As A Dangerous Coconut

20 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss fruit that's expensive and dangerous; and people who got very hot and very cold.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com f...

312: No Such Thing As Quentin Tarantino's Bambi

13 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss dangerous Roman toilets, what shoes were thrown at a Bush, and the love life of a Lothario turtle called Diego. V...

311: No Such Thing As A Michelangel-ogram

06 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss a bank that was too warm, a bottle that was too full, and a nose that was just right.  Visit nosuchthingasafish....

310: No Such Thing As A Mungmonger

28 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Romans vs Vandals; Artists vs Artists; Door-to-Door Sales; and Bear-on-Bear action. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com ...

309: No Such Thing As The Best Bubble

21 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss get-fit schemes, bubble extremes, Norma Jeane, and an olm's routine. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about ...

308: No Such Thing As The Land Of Flying Sheep

14 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, Anne, Anna and Andrew discuss Ringo Starr's exorcism, driving with a pavlova, and the tiniest classified thing at GCHQ. Visit nosuchthingasafish...

307: No Such Thing As EastEnders, The Opera

07 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the never-ending opera, whether worms are carbon neutral, and how Edgar Allan Poe helped to create Scrabble. Visi...

306: No Such Thing As Heavy Snuggle-Pupping

31 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and John Lloyd discuss correct gambling attire, the inventor of Vaseline, and Athens' sixteen thousand secret swimming pools. Visit ...

305: No Such Thing As A Sentient Jelly

24 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the world's first electric cargo ship, jelly wobbliness testing Edison's near-miss with a flying badger. Visit no...

304: No Such Thing As A Phantasmic Foot

17 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss parachuting beavers, why hotdogs are called hotdogs, and how your emails are warming the planet. Visit nosuchthin...

303: No Such Thing As Suckling's Column

10 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss 11th century rental eels, Nelson's lesser-known brother, and how to break into Alcatraz. Visit nosuchthingasafish...

302: No Such Thing As A Hedgehog Circus

03 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Happy New Year! Enjoy a  bumper compilation of deleted bits from 2019 - all the facts, flubs and terrible terrible puns that somehow didn't make the ...

Audiobook Of The Year 2019 Preview

27 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

A clip from the audiobook version of the latest Book Of The Year instalment - buy it now from audible.com! Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news abou...

301: No Such Thing As The Queen's Christmas Burlesque

25 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Merry Fishmas! Live from Birmingham, Dan, James Anna and Andrew discuss the earliest known pornography, Mariah Carey's Christmas tree, and how a poodl...

300: No Such Thing As Swimming In The Sky

20 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live at the Heinz Oberhummer Award ceremony in Vienna, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss edible sleds, the first attempt at laser eye surgery, and ...

299: No Such Thing As A Conscientious Brunette

13 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Washington D.C., Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the goats that guard Reagan's library, poppy field crop circles, and which Apollo moon ...

298: No Such Thing As An Emotional Support Amoeba

06 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from New York, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Hornigold the pirate, support animals for other animals, and why the French can't decide on w...

297: No Such Thing As A Shrimp Conga

29 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from New York, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the loudest birds on earth, the astronaut who ate shrimp cocktail 48 times in a row, and who ...

296: No Such Thing As A Glowing Ballet Dancer

22 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Philadelphia, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss crash test moose, radioactive slippers, and the multi-presidential inventor of chewing gum...

295: No Such Thing As A 200m Baguette

15 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Boston, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Bastard baguettes Saddam Hussein's campaign song, and the first ever criminal to be put in Boston'...

294: No Such Thing As A 15-Hour Working Week

08 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss hand-drawn stockings, raccoon-damaged temples, and the doomsday aircraft destroyed by a single bird. Visit nosucht...

293: No Such Thing As A Sexy Ceiling Fan

01 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss prehistoric sippy-cups, Rasputin's litigious assassins, and the coolest ever publicity stunt. Visit nosuchthingas...

292: No Such Thing as a Blatant Plug for the Book of the Year 2019

24 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss four facts taken from The Book Of The Year 2019, including Greta Thunberg's adventurous middle name, the polling s...

291: No Such Thing As A Quintruple-Cooked Chip

18 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss marrying chips, geese-rearing astronauts and the restaurant with tables in two different countries.

290: No Such Thing As A Winter Fax Machine

11 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Alex, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Tolstoy's hat-wearing habits, nuclear-powered icebreakers (literal, not conversational) and how to hack a fax fro...

289: No Such Thing As A Horse Called Brian

04 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss leaping maggots, the point of motion sickness and why you shouldn't put on too much red lipstick. Visit nosuchthi...

288: No Such Thing As An Elephant In The Airport

27 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss elephantine super-sniffing, Thomas Jefferson's version of the Bible, and André the Giant's all-night bender. Vis...

287: No Such Thing As Pets In Heaven

20 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Antwerp, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss diamond vacuums, North Korean app stores, and what happens when you give an elephant a gold ene...

286: No Such Thing As A Banana With Wifi

13 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the invention of ball pits, a fisherman's unluckiest fruit, and how the internet was nearly  called The Informati...

285: No Such Thing As Giving Birth Up A Climbing Wall

06 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss special mud for baseball, why YouTube was invented, and Brazilian caesarian section parties. Visit nosuchthingasa...

284: No Such Thing As Salty Yeti Bones

30 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Paris, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss odour-analysing t-shirts, New York under meteor attack, and self-pricking porcupines. Visit nosu...

283: No Such Thing As A Lost Shadow

23 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Geneva, Dan, James Anna and Andrew discuss selling shadows, exploding aphids and the emerging blimp driving industry. Visit nosuchthingasaf...

282: No Such Thing As A Bored Shrew

16 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Copenhagen, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss Bjorn Borg's karate-tennis instructor, singing teachers for canaries, and what happens when ...

281: No Such Thing As A Chatty Cow

09 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Amsterdam, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss how to clean warship guns, the anti-Valentine's march, and interviewing a cow.

280: No Such Thing As A Permanently Latvian Bear

02 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Oslo, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss medically-induced drunkenness, how to avoid being eaten by wolves on holiday, and what happens if ...

279: No Such Thing As A Backflipping Doctor

26 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Berlin, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss chicken lifeguards, carrot concrete and the most-signed birthday card in history.

278: No Such Thing As A Herring-Okapi Hybrid

19 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Richard Herring discuss Hitler's feet, greeting hyenas and George III in a house on fire.

277: No Such Thing As An Elephant Polo Rider In A Sombrero

12 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Stockholm, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Swedish cyborgs, swimming pools for horses, and self-destructing Game Of Thrones scripts.

276: No Such Thing As A Ninja With A Cat

05 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Gothenburg, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss ninja snorkelling, Spiderman's fall from a traffic light, and waiting at a train station for...

275: No Such Thing As A Squashed Microbe

28 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Oxford, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss lethal hippopotamus poo, ice cream-making warplanes, and how to avoid upsetting microbes.

274: No Such Thing As A Polite Baby

21 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Japanese musical floorboards, how much meat is in a Pepperami, and where you'll find the rudes...

273: No Such Thing As A Scuba Diver Covered With Meat

14 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Sheffield, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss urine-tasting, relocating entire buildings and the thing that's more painful to tread on than f...

272: No Such Thing As A Non-Judgemental Herring

07 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the world's most fashionable accountant, disapproval-based herring migration, and the invention of veganism.

271: No Such Thing As A Safe Robot

31 May 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Birmingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss underwater dog treadmills, hitchhiking robots, and the late, late Elizabeth Taylor.

270: No Such Thing As BIG SHERLOCK HOLMES

24 May 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the Mona Lisa's wandering eye, coffee cups that grow on trees, and ancient Roman earlobe specialists.

269: No Such Thing As Singing The Sport

17 May 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Salford, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss canine height restrictions, finch bite quotients, and the Manchester Of The East.

268: No Such Thing As Welsh Guinness

10 May 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss miniature miniature trains, bees in mourning, and unholy transplants.

267: No Such Thing As Mission Impossible For Slugs

03 May 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss superglued frogs, how to get into an Ancient Turkish house, and the Oscar won by nobody.

266: No Such Thing As An Innocent Pisces Sign

26 Apr 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Cardiff, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Comic Sans engravings, nut products with no nuts, and transient jellyfish anuses.

265: No Such Thing As A Hole In The Bowl

19 Apr 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Redruth, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Disney-themed punishment, grandfather clocks, and George Eliot's massive right hand.

264: No Such Thing As Bikes In Space

12 Apr 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Barnstaple, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss live scarecrows, the first ever caravan holiday, and the billionaire with only three things ...

263: No Such Thing As Millipede Lipbalm

05 Apr 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Cambridge, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss silk-spinning goats, the invention of the scooter, and millipede PR problems.

262: No Such Thing As A Man In A Wine Bottle

29 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Eventim Apollo in Hammersmith, Dan, James. Anna and Andy discuss time-travelling swordfish, the actor who reviewed his own plays, and Wa...

261: No Such Thing As A Chocolate Train

22 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Uffculme, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chocolate gramophones, licking your own forehead and Icelandic sheep dating.

260: No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage

15 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Aberdeen, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the banning of sliced bread, broken turtle penises and muscly bums.Episode 260 - No Such Thing A...

259: No Such Thing As Flyagra

08 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss fly dating, 69ing on American roadways, and predicting the future with asparagus

258: No Such Thing As A Brutally Honest Yoga Mat

01 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss plumbing detectives, guinea pigs in the freezer, and the Head of Cybersecurity who's never used a computer.

257: No Such Thing As A Squilkman

22 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss kissing hedgehogs, the time on Saturn, and competitive ploughing.

256: No Such Thing As A Puddle Photographer

15 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss flirty cuttlefish, rooster beer and the best weather for starting a business.

255: No Such Thing As A Bouncy Asteroid

08 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss skimming meteors, snowy bacteria, and incorrectly formatted declarations of war.

254: No Such Thing As A Toilet In The Car

01 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss gingerbread in the toilet, the invention of wing mirrors, and silent movie bags.

253: No Such Thing As Dolphins At The United Nations

25 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss talking NASA dolphins, Robert Louis Stevenson's death and how any parents have a favourite child.

252: No Such Thing As The Shark Tooth Fairy

18 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss baby sharks, bankrupt lottery winners, and the city where the streets are paved with used toilet paper.