We kick off the episode live and in person by announcing our new fantasy football team, the "Pepto Pugskins," and discuss some hilarious punishments for the league loser (only if it's us), including taking the SATs, spending 24 hours in a Waffle House, or competing in a bodybuilding show. We also celebrate Mike's birthday at Hotel LBI, recounting the "What Would You Do?" mystery of the missing complimentary Prosecco and the terrifying moment Bucky almost choked after licking some birthday cake icing. After wishing everyone a Happy National Coloring Day, Erin shares her latest neighborhood battle as the self-appointed street mayor, circulating a petition after the borough removed access to the bay, leading to several injuries. We also share a legendary Dan story, detailing the moment he accidentally inhaled a live fish while body surfing in the ocean. Next, we tackle the tech nightmares of Erin's parents cell phones, recounting the malware masquerading as calendar apps and the relentless full-screen pop-up ads plaguing Erin's mom's Samsung device. Moving to the skies, we react to the wild footage of a buff 67-year-old man getting completely mummified in duct tape in his first class seat on an American Airlines flight after assaulting passengers and shouting slurs. We also give a massive shoutout to Evie's new cocktail book, Drinks for Every Taste, celebrate the former AMC popcorn rebel Darius who now hooks people up with extra McDonald's nuggets, and follow up on Nike's NYC rent-paying 100m street race that ended up being entirely dominated by D-1 athletes rather than everyday runners. In the health and fitness world, Mike vents about his struggles with bodily awareness during corrective jumping exercises assigned by Sam, and Erin shares her desperate goal to finally fix her terrible sleep schedule by going to bed at 10:30 PM. We also react to a piece of the Ritz-Carlton awning from the Eagles' Super Bowl 52 celebrations being sold on Facebook Marketplace for $2,200, and discuss the allegations that the New England Patriots used their video board to create offset goalposts to disorient opposing kickers. For "Erin's Tea Time," we break down the insane story of Angel Murdoch, a former Love Island contestant who elaborately faked being a Duke University Physician Assistant student by posing in scrubs outside dorms and stealing actual students' photos. Finally, in "No Bad, No Sad," we smile at a wholesome viral video of a little kid holding up a tiny catch of the day from a boat as an entire waterfront restaurant erupts in cheers for him.

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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