Normalize therapy.
Episodes
When to Leave (or Stay In) an Abusive Marriage [3 of 3]
22 Feb 2017
Contributed by Lukas
Today’s episode is twice the challenge: we’re dealing with the difficult subject of abuse in marriage but we’re also talking about when to leave...
Can Abusive Husbands Change? [2 of 3]
15 Feb 2017
Contributed by Lukas
Will the abuse get better? Or is it going to stay the same? Abuse is deeply rooted in belief systems and so we want to talk about recovery rates...
Is My Husband Abusive? [1 of 3]
08 Feb 2017
Contributed by Lukas
Abuse is such a tough situation. We want to speak to all the brave wives out there who are putting on the mask every Sunday and acting like things are...
Stop Bottling Up Stuff In Your Marriage
01 Feb 2017
Contributed by Lukas
I find it’s pretty easy to avoid conflict. I kind of stockpile the issues until it gets really big and then I feel like I’m ready to talk. But the...
Emotional Intimacy is the Key to Great Sex
25 Jan 2017
Contributed by Lukas
What do you do when you want to spice up your sex life? We usually start thinking about new positions, or lingerie or maybe traveling to some exotic l...
Overcoming Infidelity: 30 Days to Recovery
12 Oct 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Has infidelity impacted your marriage? Do you feel like you need guidance through recovery and rebuilding your marriage? A few months ago we ra...
Why You Can’t Trust Your Spouse
05 Oct 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever wonder why you can’t trust your spouse? Especially when you think you should be able to? Before we start, we want to make it clea...
What to Talk About on Your Next Date
28 Sep 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Even if you're happily married you might find dates with your spouse kind of awkward sometimes. What do you talk about? I know we struggle at times to...
How to Appreciate Your Spouse
21 Sep 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Maybe your spouse has complained to you that he or she just doesn’t feel appreciated. Well, let’s just take that at face value today and work on t...
Your Marriage Needs an Intimacy Checkup
14 Sep 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Intimacy is one of the deepest needs of the human heart. We all crave it and we all enjoy it when we experience it in our marriages. Today, you need t...
So You Stayed Married Just for the Kids’ Sake, Now What?
07 Sep 2016
Contributed by Lukas
What happens if your marriage really hasn’t been that great but you’ve been sticking it out for the kids, or for some other reason. Let’s say th...
I Want To Fix Our Marriage and He Doesn’t. Now What?
31 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Here's today's question: "Background: I grew up in an abusive home (my father is an addict and a bully, but my mother never reported his abuse to aut...
My Spouse is Flaunting Him/Herself on Social Media
24 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
A listener wrote in with the question: "How do you set boundaries with social media? What's acceptable to keep the marriage from the pressures of the...
Extreme Sex Drive and Infidelity From Testosterone Therapy?
17 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we have a question from one of our audience members who wanted clarity on her expectations around side effects of her husband's testosteron...
After Infidelity, How Do I Trust My Husband Again?
10 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Caleb answers a very touching question from Betty*, one of our email subscribers. She asked, "I responded a few months ago, rather aggres...
If My Husband is a Sex Addict, Should I Divorce Him?
03 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Peggy* wrote in to ask about sexual addiction and its effects on marriage. She writes, "Verlynda, First, I think your plans for traveling for a year ...
My Husband’s Sexual History Is Affecting Our Intimacy
27 Jul 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Today we have a question from one of our audience members who is asking for help to overcome some significant mental barriers around her husband’s s...
My Wife Won’t Stop the Affair. How Do I Save My Marriage?
20 Jul 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Jason* wrote in to say: "First all, huge thanks for what you are doing. My marriage is still in trouble, and it's even getting worse and worse. But t...
How Can I Help My Wife Be More Trusting?
13 Jul 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Joshua* writes: My wife and I started dating, got married the next year, had our first child a year later, and then our second child the following ye...
Hectic Life + Happily Married: Is It Possible?
06 Jul 2016
Contributed by Lukas
The common perception is that you can be super busy OR happily married. What we wanted to know is if you could be super busy AND happily married. Do y...
If Your Spouse Is Too Jealous
29 Jun 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Jealousy. This can drive some people absolutely nuts - and their spouse feels completely justified. It’s a real conundrum. And it’s particularl...
Find Yourself in a Roommate Marriage?
22 Jun 2016
Contributed by Lukas
If your marriage is sexless, there is a way back to rekindling intimacy. It’s not easy, but it might not be as impossible as you think, either! We’...
Is My Marriage Beyond Recovery?
15 Jun 2016
Contributed by Lukas
We know for some of you, this episode is going to be a tough one. We’re going to speak the truth in love because we’re committed to integrity, but...
Why You’re Not Getting Enough Sex and What To Do About It
08 Jun 2016
Contributed by Lukas
If you’re some creepy dude reading this to try to extract more pleasure from your wife – go away. This is not about exploitation. But, if you’...
10 Sure-Fire Ways To Make Time For Each Other in a Crazy Busy Marriage
01 Jun 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Life is super busy. We get that. Rather than focusing on the hopelessness of the ‘busy’ problem, why not take the time you do have and make ...
How to Create More Intimacy in Your Marriage
25 May 2016
Contributed by Lukas
If you really want to build more intimacy in your marriage – and who wouldn’t??? – here are four ways to do that. Take the time to hear, and dig...
Codependency in Marriage: What It Is and What To Do About It
18 May 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Codependency is a term that gets thrown around a lot. What’s a little freaky about it is that we all have a touch of this in our lives. We’re n...
What To Do When Your Spouse Offends You
11 May 2016
Contributed by Lukas
So, your spouse just blew it. Again! How can you move from the place of being offended – and maybe feeling like a victim – to feeling like y...
3 Things To Talk About Every Day
04 May 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Talking to each other seems like a pretty obvious topic, right? But, how many times have I asked Caleb, about a couple we’re working with, “Do the...
How to Recover From Betrayal
27 Apr 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Betrayal is such a ground-shaking event. Probably because it so deeply challenges your beliefs about someone incredibly significant in your life, and ...
Fight The Problem – Not Each Other!
20 Apr 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Conflict can be such a painful, frustrating experience. Is it really possible to turn conflict into an opportunity to grow closer rather than it being...
3 Essential Principles for Successful In-Law Relationships
13 Apr 2016
Contributed by Lukas
The definition of mixed feelings: Watching your mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your brand new car. Ha ha ha. We all joke about the infamous mot...
Always Fighting About the Kids?
06 Apr 2016
Contributed by Lukas
On the Marriage Podcast for Smart People we don’t often talk about parenting. But when it’s impacting your marriage, then it’s our business! ...
100 Episodes of The Marriage Podcast for Smart People!
30 Mar 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Episode #100! Wahoo!!! Normally we focus on real-world, research-based strategies to help your marriage. Today, we’re mostly just going to stop a...
Making Time For Your Spouse: 2 Strategies That Actually Work
23 Mar 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Why does it seem to be so difficult to create time to spend together? We all want to spend more time with our spouse and do more together, but so ofte...
Phone Addiction is the New Alcoholism
16 Mar 2016
Contributed by Lukas
My cousins boss and the boss’ wife went fishing one day. It was the first time in a long time they were doing something together rather than him wor...
Do Opposites Attract? Here’s the Research
09 Mar 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes we ask more philosophical questions about the future of our marriages. One of those is that age-old question, do opposites attract? It turns...
Why Christian Couples Feel Guilty About Sex
02 Mar 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Not every Christian couple feels guilty about sex, but a surprising number do. In fact, we’ve even been asked the question, “I’m married now, bu...
Power Struggles in Marriage: Your Styles May Be the Problem
24 Feb 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever fight about who does what in marriage? Or, how decisions are made? Who has the most say, or power, or who can make the final call on some ...
The One Thing Every Distressed Marriage is Doing Wrong
17 Feb 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Did you know that some of the very things you do to try to save your distressed marriage are in actual fact destroying it? Seriously. What is even mor...
Sex Drive – Differences Can Be a Problem
10 Feb 2016
Contributed by Lukas
So, you want less sex than your spouse does. Is that a problem? Well, it turns out that’s a question for your spouse. But if it is a problem, today ...
What To Do When Your Spouse Doesn’t Want To Work On The Marriage
03 Feb 2016
Contributed by Lukas
What do you do when you want to fix your marriage and your spouse doesn’t think there’s a problem? Or maybe sees the problem but refuses to work o...
How To Support Your Spouse During Hard Times
27 Jan 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Nobody is exempt from hard times. Sometimes we get hit as a couple and other times it is really just our spouse that bears the brunt of the burden. Ho...
Social Media is Destroying Your Marriage
20 Jan 2016
Contributed by Lukas
We had a couple of people reach out and mention how they got into emotional affairs on Facebook – and almost into physical affairs. They really frea...
How to Ramp Up Positivity in Your Marriage
13 Jan 2016
Contributed by Lukas
The difference between negativity and positivity in marriage is the difference between a marriage filled with nagging, complaining, and criticism vers...
How Body Image Issues Can Ruin Your Sex Life – Part 2
07 Jan 2016
Contributed by Lukas
This is Part 2 of the series on Body Image and Sexual Functioning. If you have not read the first part, do so here. In the first half of this topic...
How Body Image Issues Can Ruin Your Sex Life – Part 1
05 Jan 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Body image and sex…. a super sensitive topic for a lot of people. We’ll try to be gentle, but we’ll also be challenging you to do some serious...
Self-Care Is Marriage Care
16 Dec 2015
Contributed by Lukas
So, we all know the old saying, “You can’t change your spouse, you can only change yourself”. Well, apparently that saying isn’t 100% true. Yo...
Respect vs. Contempt – Heart of Marriage Series (5 of 5)
09 Dec 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Respect. We all want it, and we don’t want any exceptions - but we all know how easy we can turn it off and get our ugly on when things aren’t goi...
Sacrifice vs. Entitlement – Heart of Marriage Series (4 of 5)
02 Dec 2015
Contributed by Lukas
It’s easy to feel entitled to certain rights and benefits from our marriages. That entitlement always seems to be there but is never helpful in crea...
Loneliness vs. Intimacy – Heart of Marriage Series (3 of 5)
25 Nov 2015
Contributed by Lukas
This is a big question. Are you lonely in your marriage? That is not a fun place to be, but there is good news – growing your intimacy can exp...
Acceptance vs. Rejection – Heart of Marriage Series (2 of 5)
18 Nov 2015
Contributed by Lukas
It’s not rocket science to know that rejecting your spouse is a really, really painful thing to do. But, think about the opposite for a moment: if I...
Commitment vs. Abandonment – Heart of Marriage Series (1 of 5)
11 Nov 2015
Contributed by Lukas
There are some things you can do without in marriage – and still have a pretty good marriage. Commitment is NOT one of those things. It is foundatio...
Who Wears The Pants In Your Marriage?
04 Nov 2015
Contributed by Lukas
This is the second part of a topic that’s pretty common and can be pretty difficult for a lot of couples. It’s really just the idea that the wife ...
Husband Doesn’t Help With The Kids? It Could Be Your Fault!
28 Oct 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Are you sick and tired of having to do everything? And your husband just doesn’t carry the load? And – on top of that – when you try to talk abo...
How To Help Your Spouse’s Anxiety
21 Oct 2015
Contributed by Lukas
If you’re living with another human being in this wonderful institution called marriage, then there is a good chance that at some point in your expe...
How To Rebuild Your Marriage After An Affair
14 Oct 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Perhaps you’ve never gone through an affair in your marriage. Or perhaps you have. Have you ever felt the gut wrenching kick to your heart, or spent...
Parenting For The Benefit Of Your Marriage
07 Oct 2015
Contributed by Lukas
It is a well-researched fact that having a baby usually has a negative impact on your marital satisfaction. Let’s look at the whole early parenting ...
Religiosity Won’t Help Your Marriage
30 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
We had this idea that we were trying to figure out. If you get really fanatical about church and ministry, does that form a point for your marriage to...
Talk About It Sooner Before It’s a Big Deal
23 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever NOT deal with something between you and your spouse, hoping it will just blow over or that it’s a passing issue? And perhaps life does s...
The Three Best Ways to Ruin Your Husband’s Day
16 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ouch, these were painful for me, as a wife, to find out. I don’t even want to think of the times I’ve done these things… AND didn’t even know ...
The Three Best Ways to Ruin Your Wife’s Day
09 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Obviously, there will be quite a bit of satire in this post and we don’t actually want you to ruin your wife’s day, but the serious part is this: ...
Don’t Take Your Marriage For Granted: 5 Strategies to Keep Things Fresh
02 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
I take Verlynda for granted sometimes. There’s no escaping the truth. In fact, if you pause for a moment I’m sure you’ll have to admit the same ...
Back to School! What About Your Marriage?
26 Aug 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Back to school means a change in routine for many families. Summer holidays are over (or, will be shortly) and once September arrives we’re into ...
Every Couple Needs a Graffiti Tag
19 Aug 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Another quick summer episode here as we take a break from our usual programming. And, contrary to what you might assume from the title, we’re not...
Sticky Notes Are The Best Love Notes
12 Aug 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Marriage can seem pretty complicated. There are scores of websites, hundreds of books and thousands of research articles. And yet folks -- perha...
50 Romantic Text Messages to Send to Your Spouse
05 Aug 2015
Contributed by Lukas
I think that one of the lamest things to do is to break up a relationship by text message. Lame, lame, lame. But you're married now and looking ...
How To Create and Deliver a Legendary Wedding Speech
29 Jul 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Most wedding speeches are lame. There, I said it. Somebody needed to. We have a lot of listeners tuning into our podcast because they're getting...
Marla Cilley Interview: The FlyLady Helped Our Home and Will Help Yours Too!
22 Jul 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever been in that place? You know, you come home from work… the house is a mess… you don’t want to be there… you’re yelling at the ...
How to Rebuild Trust in Your Marriage
15 Jul 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Even if it feels impossible at this moment, I want you to know that it is possible to rebuilt trust, to create safety and to restore intimacy to your ...
Healthy Marriage Without Good Role Models
08 Jul 2015
Contributed by Lukas
So, what if your parents didn’t have a great marriage? Or, maybe other folks who served as role models in your life haven’t modeled a healthy, thr...
How to Reduce Debt: Part 5
01 Jul 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Because debt reduction is fundamentally a mental issue, not a financial one, this may be a different take on debt reduction that what you might be use...
Budgeting for the Big Stuff (Part 4 of 5)
24 Jun 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ever get nailed by a surprise bill? Yeah, you knew insurance was due for the year but you thought it wasn’t till next month? This episode is about p...
How To Create Your Family Budget (Part 3 of 4)
17 Jun 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Today we’re getting into the nitty-gritty of HOW to create a family budget. We’ve done budgets and had to revisit them. We haven’t always been ...
How To Negotiate A Budget (Part 2 of 4)
10 Jun 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Negotiating a family budget can be a real fire-starter for some couples. We may know we need a budget and want to live within our means, but the fight...
Why You Need To Budget (Part 1 of 4)
03 Jun 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Budgeting can feel like such a ball and chain. Why is it such a pain point for so many of us? This is the first article in a mini-series on Family ...
Couples That Play Together Stay Together
27 May 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Life is busy. So busy. But so often we let other people and other things run our schedules and in the process of allowing this to happen: what reall...
How to Have Your First (or, Best!) Orgasm
20 May 2015
Contributed by Lukas
So, we’ve had some listeners reach out with some questions about sex, and more specifically, questions about female orgasm. For most young couples g...
Housework: Who Does the Cleaning Up in Your Marriage?
13 May 2015
Contributed by Lukas
We’ve noticed that a lot of marriages take a very traditional approach where all the work HE does is money-earning, and all the work SHE does in unp...
How to Disagree Without Sinking Your Love Boat
06 May 2015
Contributed by Lukas
OK. So you had ANOTHER fight - another disagreement. It’s like, man, are we ever going to stop fighting? Remember, the goal is not achieving zero d...
10 Simple But Powerful Ways to Court Your Spouse In Everyday Moments
29 Apr 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Today we want to give you 10 simple but powerful ways to court your spouse in everyday moments. This isn’t going to be about going out for dinner or...
Four Reasons Why You Must Do Pre-Marital Coaching
21 Apr 2015
Contributed by Lukas
My own daughter asked me today, “So, why do people do pre-marital counseling?” She’s 13. I’m glad she’s asking. You are likely wonderi...
3 Ways To Support Your Spouse When You Disagree
15 Apr 2015
Contributed by Lukas
I know what you’re thinking. Why on earth would I want to support my spouse when we’re fighting? Well, because you want to stay married, tha...
Marriage After Your First Child
08 Apr 2015
Contributed by Lukas
I read a comic strip once about pregnancy and childbirth that had the title “Help, my entertainment center is now a juice bar!" While it struck m...
It’s Not Always My Fault!
01 Apr 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Do you find yourself always taking the blame for everything? I mean, not so much in the sense that your spouse won’t accept any, but that you just f...
If I Need You, Does That Make Me Needy?
25 Mar 2015
Contributed by Lukas
In marriage, we need to strike a healthy balance between independence and dependence on each other. This is where we sort out the sticky stuff like n...
10 Tips for Closer Connection
18 Mar 2015
Contributed by Lukas
We live in a quick-fix society. Everything is easy, cheap and disposable. Somehow we’re trained to think about what we get OUT of things, rather tha...
Does Money Affect Your Marriage?
11 Mar 2015
Contributed by Lukas
There is a lot of discussions nowadays in the business world about work-life balance. Today I want to challenge and inspire you to think seriously abo...
Touch Her Heart Before You Touch Her Body
04 Mar 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Because of how sexuality is portrayed in media and how we are socialized to perceive it in our culture, I think there’s this perception that arousal...
Top 5 Predictors of Marital Success
25 Feb 2015
Contributed by Lukas
What if you could focus on just five things to make sure that your marriage is a success? Relationships can sometimes seem pretty complicated. ...
Let It Go or Confront It?
18 Feb 2015
Contributed by Lukas
As I sit here, gazing at a picture of my handsome husband, I am asking myself the question, “Should I talk to him about it? It has been bugging me f...
Valentine’s Day. Love It or Hate It?
11 Feb 2015
Contributed by Lukas
It’s Valentines Day this weekend! Happy Valentine’s Day! We specialize in marriage and love so we’re supposed to be all enthused about Valent...
Distraction is Killing Your Marriage
04 Feb 2015
Contributed by Lukas
In 2015, couples are saying that communication is their biggest struggle. Why, when we’ve never had so many ways to communicate and keep in touch as...
Infidelity Starts Long Before The Affair
28 Jan 2015
Contributed by Lukas
What does faithfulness, or fidelity, mean in your marriage? What does it look like? Are your boundaries strong enough to protect your marriage from an...
Four Critical Habits to Deepen Your Love
21 Jan 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ahhh...the science of love. It’s pretty cool that something as amorphous as love can be studied. And even cooler when you find research that iden...
How Are You Enriching Your Marriage This Year?
14 Jan 2015
Contributed by Lukas
One of the things we want to get you thinking about at the very start of this year is what you are going to do, with deliberate purpose, to enrich you...
Sleep Your Way To A Better Marriage – Shawn Stevenson Interview
07 Jan 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Here’s a fresh thought for fixing or just strengthening your marriage this year: try improving your sleep quality. Really? Yes, really. In this epis...
Differences in Sexual Desire: A Checklist for Your Marriage
31 Dec 2014
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes after a long day, you just want to climb in bed and go to sleep… but your spouse has other ideas! Differences in sexual desire are ...
How Jesus Almost Grew Up With A Single Mom
24 Dec 2014
Contributed by Lukas
Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and cheer with everybody bubbling over with joy. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it just plain hurts. It’s ...
How To Repair After A Fight
17 Dec 2014
Contributed by Lukas
After a fight, you basically have four options: you can exit the relationship, you can be patient and loyal by waiting for your spouse to change, you ...