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Chapter 1: What equipment testing war story is shared?
Actual Fire and Mines rolls up to find Dave off-duty, mildly concussed, covered in playground mulch. Hello, welcome to the podcast. This is Not For Radio. We are your hosts, Duncan Hyde, Jay Reeve. Plenty on the podcast today. The coin of destiny, here it is.
Chapter 2: What makes the Bathurst trip special?
That makes a return. We're going to make a decision for somebody today. It's actually just a bit of a decision on the content that's going in the podcast. Yeah, but if you have something that you would like decided by the coin of destiny, by all means, listen to it. That is decisions being made. Yeah, and a couple of cracking war stories.
We're going into a bit of duck shooting chat as well, which is this weekend. Overall, just a really long, enjoyable podcast. And Travelling Atomic gives us his breakdown on whether or not it's worth going to China and seeing the Great Wall. This episode of Not For Radio is brought to you by the Legions at Classic Builders.
Chapter 3: What are some effective fishing tips mentioned?
They've been building homes for Kiwis for over 30 years. They've got teams all over the country, so you get that national muscle with all the local tradies who actually know your patch. Enjoy the episode.
Chapter 4: How hard is it to order coffee in today's world?
Attention, snipers. Gear up and hold your positions. It's time to load up some war stories. Your tales from the front line brought to life. Prepare to fire.
Here we go. Thank you, Mick from Yorkshire in the UK.
Chapter 5: What amusing experience does Dunc have with Siri?
G'day, lads and ladettes. Long-time listener, first-time yarn sender in a row, and proud to announce I've recently stepped up to the prestigious ranks of sniper elites. Welcome aboard to the top brass.
Chapter 6: What insights does Atomic share about his trip to China?
Excellent stuff. Thank you very much. Mainly because this podcast has become mandatory decompression therapy after shifts. For anyone in the emergency services, honestly, this pod is better than counseling and cheaper than therapy and far safer than the station brew fridge after a night shift. Anyway, I thought I'd contribute a proper Yorkshire emergency service classic.
So this involves a firefighter mate of mine from Yorkshire. We'll call him Dave because legally I probably should. Because every fire station in Britain already has about three Daves anyway. Now Dave is one of those blokes built like a fridge freezer. Absolute unit.
Can carry casualties downstairs, force doors, wrestle hoses, but possesses the survival instincts of a drunk Labrador once alcohol enters the system.
This all kicks off after a successful charity ladder climb, followed by just the one pint at the local pub, which, as every firefighter knows, translates directly into eight pints, two whiskies and someone ordering Zambucas for reasons nobody remembers. Now, David recently bought himself a brand new smartwatch. Dead proud of it.
Tracking sleep, heart rate, steps, the full athlete experience, despite living primarily on station toasties. I like Dave. Around midnight, Dave decides he's walking home because, I quote, fresh air sobers thee up.
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Chapter 7: What classic yarn does the police welcome involve?
About halfway home, he spots a children's playground. Now, and this is important, drunk firefighters do not see playground equipment as intended. They see training opportunities. Dave looks at the zip line. Fucking Dave decides he's absolutely still got it. Witnesses later reported hearing him announce, watch this, lads, operational test.
He grabs a handle, launches himself heroically, and immediately discovers two critical flaws. One, the zip line was designed for six-year-olds. Two, momentum plus firefighter equals physics incident.
Halfway across the cable bottoms out, Dave's boots hit the ground at speed, his body keeps travelling, and he performs what can only be described as an unscheduled tactical dismount directly into the bark chippings. Silence. Then the smartwatch loudly announces, Fool detected. Are you okay? What sort of a fucking watch is that? Which wakes up half the street.
Dave's line flattered his back, staring at the stars, and apparently shouts, Cancel that. Minor incident. Unfortunately, the watch had already alerted his emergency contact. who happened to be another firefighter on shift. So 10 minutes later, an actual fire alliance rolls up to find Dave off-duty, mildly concussed, covered in playground mulch, insisting he's conducting equipment testing.
Crew reportedly took photos before providing medical assistance as required by international firefighter law. Indy report, pulled groin, bruised pride and splinters in locations that normally are protected by fire cap. Best part, next shift briefing included a new unofficial safety notice. Personnel are reminded playground equipment is not part of the firefighter fitness training.
Dave still claims the equipment failed inspection. Anyway, lads, cheers to the laughs every week. And for those of us dealing with the weird, grim, and occasionally bonkers side of emergency service life, this podcast genuinely gives us a chance to switch off, have a laugh, and remember we're all just fucking idiots in different uniforms. Keep up the outstanding work. Regards, Michael.
Newly promoted sniper elite. Yorkshire Fire Service listener. Try not to become the next yarn. Oh, man. That is a classic yarn. Full detected. Cancel that. Just a minor one. Insert fire appliance. Oh, fucking beauty. Keep steaming, legends.
Okay, so I saw someone post, I didn't release it onto the Sniper's Nightmare Facebook page, but it was going, why didn't we get a keyword for the Bathurst trip? Now, the Bathurst trip is happening, we just decided to punch it out a week so we could have two days in a row of entries for Sniper Elite, which are the people that are paid subscribers.
But for those that don't know what the Bathurst trip is, now the Bathurst 1000 is the greatest motorsport in our part of the world, like a motorsport race. It's 1,000 kilometers up and down a mountain in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, a place called Bathurst, 162 laps, about five and a half hours of racing, two drivers, one car. It's amazing. It's been on my bucket list, and I've said it before.
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