Off Air with Jane & Fi

Level 9 woo woo (with Richard Dawkins)

29 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane M has had a bumpy journey back from sipping champagne at Roland-Garros, while Fi's had a bumpy experience with some sub-par paving —naturally. ...

The Off Air Military Unit (with Jesse Armstrong)

28 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane M is off on a Challenge Anneka-style mission — we hope to see her tomorrow, but who knows... Before that, Jane M and Fi chat jobs in another li...

Waiting for the internal filth to settle (with Mary Trump)

27 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane Garvey is off this week so Jamal Kerrins is here. She's fresh off a flight from Berlin... Ok, fresh may be a stretch but she's here! Jane M and F...

OFF AIR... EXTRA

23 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to another Friday special. This week's bonus episode features an interview with The Times and Sunday Times' Literary Editor, Robbie Mille...

Carry On Off Air Wild Camping (with Laura Bates)

22 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The AstroTurf trailblazers bring big news from their back gardens — steady yourself against something firm. They also cover kindness, costume partie...

The lost King Charles Spaniel hairdo decade (with Adam Buxton)

21 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, Jane and Fi take a trip down memory lane, dredging up memories of questionable hairdos and cat-suits. They also chat wine charms, the...

Toilet roll, hand soap and self-deprecation (with Sir Ed Davey)

20 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi agree quite a lot in this episode – and it's rather unnerving. Please proceed with caution. They also discuss umbrellas, BBQs, downstair...

Nothing but a fit, lycra-wearing coypu...

19 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What’s in a name? Rather a lot, as Jane and Fi discover in this email-only episode. They also discuss gardening, Slough, Bruce Springsteen, and Laur...

All the best, Sex.

15 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Producers of Celebrity Race Across the World, if you're reading this: you've got two easy wins right here! Jane and Fi also chat bolts on benches, Leo...

Ribbed baguette and whipped butter? (with Simon Reeve)

14 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Dr. Dr. Dr. Garvey and Dr. Dr. Glover share their musings on whipped butter, Helens, foxes having a to-do, Gustave Eiffel, and the home of the tart. W...

She may have been anti-granary (with Alison Phillips)

13 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Going just off this episode, you'd be forgiven for thinking the purpose of this podcast was to inform... In this fact-filled edition, Jane and Fi disc...

Spag bol and hot love

12 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to this racket sport special! Jane M sits in for Jane G for one day only. She and Fi chat badminton, sexiversaries, and late-night bolognese. ...

OFF AIR... EXTRA

09 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to another Friday special. This week's bonus episode features an interview with Bryan Dorries, artistic director of Theatre of War Produc...

Be sure to separate your whites from your cardinal colours!

08 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The next book club pick has been announced! We’ll be reading Leonard and Hungry Paul by Rónán Hession — we hope you’ll join us. Also in this e...

It's the pomp of it all! (with Gillian Anderson)

07 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's another slightly giddy episode as Jane and Fi discuss Clacton Pier, Crosby and badminton. Plus, actress Gillian Anderson discusses her latest fi...

Judgy or concerned?

06 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There's quite a lengthy period of accents in this episode – please be warned. Jane and Fi also cover women fishing, thong bikinis, onions and orange...

OFF AIR... EXTRA

02 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to another Friday special. This week's bonus episode features an interview with The Times and Sunday Times' Literary Editor, Robbie Mille...

Welcome to the world, Ignatius and Derek (with Sara Davies)

01 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's very hot today and the effects are being felt in the studio... Please bear with us. Jane and Fi discuss education, Jamal Current and Spain. Plus...

Trouble in Winchester (with Alex Crawford)

30 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's been to Badminton and had some realisations. Jane and Fi ponder those realisations, as well as mini Magnums, Padel, Crosby, and train carriages. ...

Euston toilets, we have a problem

29 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's off today on important business, so Jane M is here! Normal schedule resumes tomorrow... whatever that means. Today, Jane and Jane chat power outa...

The laughter and steaminess was unending

28 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are reunited! They join you in their bikinis for discussions about chickenpox, religion, Wells Cathedral, and men who ask too many questio...

There is nothing romantic about poo (with Jeremy Vine)

24 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane Mulkerrins is still sitting in. Jane Garvey is still off (back Monday). And there are a few more Janes thrown into this episode for good measure....

Been Rooney'd (with Nussaibah Younis)

23 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The Times wind tunnel has been wreaking havoc, but Jane M and Fi have made it in one piece. They discuss the Pope, postcard bunting, and cold water sw...

Stop! I need to put my socks on! (with Geri Halliwell-Horner)

22 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's back, but Jane Garvey is now off – keep up! Fi and Jane Mulkerrins chat pigeons, cold feet, and Gouda. Plus, former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell-...

Pettiness is underrated

17 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to Jane's podcast masterclass. Please be seated. The Janes chat chocolate kittens, ASNAC, hero pigeons, and war memories.Plus, The Sunday Time...

The more parochial the rumpus, the better (with James Nelson-Joyce)

16 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Are you close to a pigeon fancier? We want to hear from you! Jane and Jane also chat James Bond, healthcare and Touchnote. Plus, actor James Nelson...

A giant penis heading into space...

15 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Yesterday was not a bad day! There was lots to laugh — postcards, space trips, and JD Vance with a trophy. Jane and Jane discuss all that and more. ...

'Garvenomics' (with Melinda French Gates)

14 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's off all this week, so The Janes are reunited! They chat 'Threads', Jon Hamm, weight loss drugs, and 'Garvenomics.' Plus, philanthropist Melinda ...

Fuming your way through your own funeral (with David Dimbleby)

10 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We've reached a man-banker, and our work here is done! Before that, Jane and Fi chat petrol, late starters, Tartan Week — and there are more postcar...

How do you sex a cat?

09 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The ladies are getting a bit competitive with the office over the postcards - so do keep sending them in. Meanwhile, Jane's been dreaming about a new,...

Keep everyone close, buy a Swiss Army Knife (with Tim Marshall)

08 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi wonder how best to disrupt each others' funerals musically and marvel at Melvyn Bragg's hair. They also sort through our, quite frankly, b...

We haven't even got to the resurrection yet!

07 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to this unplanned email special. Jane and Fi cover pointless work experience, two-wipe poos, Jane's breast enlargement and Swiss Army knives. ...

OFF AIR... EXTRA

04 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to another Friday special. This week's bonus episode features an interview from our Times Radio afternoon show (2–4 pm, Monday to Thurs...

Don't go changin'

03 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We're on a very long journey and we haven't even got to the services... Buckle in! Jane and Fi chat vegetarian farmers, flicking the V, and managing t...

I feel the same about marriage as I do black pudding... (with Prof. Alice Roberts)

02 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We're building a wall... of postcards! Keep em coming. Jane and Fi also chat MAFs, fruity ITV, black pudding and derelict buildings. Plus, Professor ...

The mistaken identity of the Wote Street Willy (with Jill Scott)

01 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane's in need of some fresh batteries—please excuse any malfunctions from her in this episode. There's also more postcards, signs from the universe...

Vodka with a gherkin on a Sunday morning

31 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to this email-only and travel-special episode! There’s mention of Avanti West, rail replacements, speed-walking, front seats, buses, the DLR...

Unprintable life-time ambitions

27 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The weather is clement and Jane's got some words on your turf. There's also chat about speed awareness, winter weddings and dried sage. Plus, author ...

Reproducing and heavy lifting (with Stig Abell)

26 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have received some postcards, and they're thrilled! Do please send more, but only with second-class stamps—we don't want anyone breaking...

Harry Redknapp and Michael Ball making sweet, sweet music

25 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You won't believe it but Mystic Garv is back, and she's got some ground breaking predictions. Jane and Fi also chat Vegas, snoring, pesto and Fi Glove...

Up and down the street with a loudhailer

24 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Please be warned: accents feature in this email-only podcast episode. Jane and Fi also discuss adolescence, Hadrian's Wall, Mother's Day, and Basingst...

Book Club - Eight Months on Ghazzah Street

21 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are back with their eighth book club, and this one's gone internationale - get the nibbles ready... Plus, Nicholas Pearson, Hilary Mantel...

Please avoid space if you've got a vagina! (with Sara Cox and Clare Hamilton)

20 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have something to get off their collective podcast breasts, and amid that, there's also chat about space travel, rumours of who will be th...

Kinky in Kingham (with Ruth Wilson)

19 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Accent alert in this podcast — proceed with caution! Jane and Fi chat saucy postcards, sex work, twin towns, and space nappies. Plus, actor Ruth Wi...

Kind Regards, Jane and Fi

18 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The Lady has landed, and it's causing a stir... Jane and Fi also chat sufferable men, bonny babies, Lucozade, and 80085. Plus, Phyllida Lloyd — dir...

With Love, Jane and Fi

17 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to this unspecial email-only podcast episode — Jane and Fi chat Cockney frogs, twinned towns, and St. Patrick's Day. The next book club epi...

OFF AIR... EXTRA

14 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to another Friday special. This week's bonus episode features an interview with The Times' Deputy Literary Editor, Laura Hackett, from ou...

'Awful, really boring, feminist women' (with Emma Barnett)

13 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Book club is coming (finally), so prepare yourselves and get in touch! Jane and Fi chat bird song, burly beavers, sex workers, pets on zoom, divorce, ...

Nothing like the pong of an economy scented candle (with Baroness Lane-Fox)

12 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you have been impacted by any of the dross discussed on Off Air, just contact an action line... This episode's dross includes turtle soup, the Adel...

Taunton Vanilla

11 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We're all about minimum effort, maximum impact round here. Jane and Fi chat Pepper Pig, the gynaecology of hens and hairdresser etiquette. Plus,...

A bit of pampering and a digest shot (with Jodie Whittaker)

10 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to this carefully curated episode. We begin with the admin section before moving on to toddler Crufts, ear health and pet anal glands... Enjoy...

OFF AIR... EXTRA

07 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to another Friday special. This week's bonus episode features an interview from our Times Radio afternoon show (2–4 pm, Monday to Thurs...

Private download gone public (with Sue Campbell)

06 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi somehow manage to link the gendering of chickens to bedside chocolate bars... tune in to find out how. And Jane speaks to Sue Campbell, Fo...

An unusually erudite edition...

05 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In today’s episode, Jane and Fi delve into whether it’s acceptable to make use of someone else’s Ring doorbell, the gynaecology of a hen, and Ja...

She doesn't have a drawer of joy (with Jared Harris)

04 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Happy flipping on this fine Shrove Tuesday! Today, Jane shares a memory of being left fully exposed on the loo at a National Trust property, while Fi ...

WHAT IS HAPPENING (with Esther Ghey)

03 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Global events can't be ignored, but there's still room for more vasectomy debate and the ladies ponder how Americans know the week has ended without a...

A delicious puddle of unashamed oestrogen (with Tuppence Middleton)

27 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is angry at the world because it isn't her birthday... but it is Fi's. They talk more class nonsense, the etymology of "napkin" and Screwfix spam...

Did Trump go to school? (with Anthony Scaramucci)

26 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In today's episode, Jane has a bone to pick with Fi, whose new glasses bear an uncanny resemblance to a pair Jane was once mercilessly teased for wear...

In case you come back as a pigeon...

25 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane questions whether she should have been a TV critic—despite refusing to watch any film or show beginning with a 'W'. Meanwhile, Fi puts to rest ...

You've triggered me darling (with Nancy Birtwhistle)

24 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's back from her holidays and Jane can't be sure she didn't take such a news-heavy week off on purpose.Big questions are asked, such as: why does Ro...

What I'd do if I were you love...

20 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane² convene for the final time ahead of Fi's return next week, discussing Mulkerrins' former hatred for spring and Garvey's past life as a strict d...

Don't tease your tales, tell them! (with James Graham)

19 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today, Garvey and Mulkerrins delve into censoring wolf whistles, age-ambiguous cagoules, and the days of cheap Bulgarian country wine. Plus, Jane G s...

Middle-aged muttering

18 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane² are back, answering all the questions plaguing this slightly sunny Tuesday afternoon: What happened to empathy? Why call them beavers? And does...

The unforgiving barrel (with Sanjeev Bhaskar)

17 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is off on holiday this week... so it's Jane and Jane! Or Garvey and Mulkerrins, if you prefer. They chat running, waitressing, and the return of th...

OFF AIR... EXTRA

14 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Friday! We're bringing you a bonus episode this Friday featuring an interview from our Times Radio afternoon show (2-4pm, Monday to Thursday). ...

Into the hide...

13 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Helmet, sunglasses, high-heeled boots, toy-gun and handcuffs at the ready? Welcome. Jane and Fi chat beavers, Jane's sofa cushions and wellies. F...

Narcissism of small differences

12 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

From the Poo Museum to Freud, enjoy the meandering journey of this episode's conversation. Jane and Fi also discuss chaff, Romantasy, and property sho...

Anyone in need of knitted nose protection? (with Jojo Moyes)

11 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In tonight's episode, Fi asks for a grown-up version of mitten elastics whilst Jane contemplates taking up golf for a man called Nigel... Plus, Fi sp...

Have you been? (with Baroness Grey-Thompson)

10 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Monday! It's grey and miserable, but let us warm you up. Jane and Fi chat Bear Grylls' flatulence, emergency supplies, humid hair, men in berets...

OFF AIR... EXTRA (with Anu Anand and Nabila)

07 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Friday! We're bringing you a bonus episode this Friday featuring an interview from our Times Radio afternoon show (2-4pm, Monday to Thursday). ...

Prazza and Buddug (with Jonathan Haidt)

06 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

How would you spot an Off Air listener? Two Daunt tote bags? Ordering coq au vin at Côte? An M&S coat? Let us know your thoughts... Plus, more on...

Stay put or shove off! (with Elly Griffiths)

05 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are knackered after their Barbican performance and have a newfound respect for those who 'tread the boards.' They chat Nytol, barrister ou...

Welcome to the middle-aged women's world!

03 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This episode goes everywhere—from low-grade spuddage and go-to bras to holiday riff-raff, frivolous TV, and rainbow lasagnes. Enjoy! Plus, the voic...

Happy and (probably) lovely people (with Kate Mosse)

30 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sound check, sound check. Welcome, Jane and Fi chat leg warmers, Fame, cleaning-porn and tiny feet. Plus, author Kate Mosse discusses 20 years of her...

Tax-dodging alpacas (with Nisha Katona)

29 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to your maritime podcast. Today, Jane and Fi discuss socks for Americans, fallen women with fallen arches and bumping into family members. Pl...

Jane the Short Arse and Fi the Chunk of Calf

28 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this wide ranging episode, Jane and Fi discuss Jane's fridge flanges, jury duty, Alexa, pet grief and Nectar cards. Plus, Dame Alison Saunders, Br...

Can I interest you in a sample of my melon balls? (with Tom Parker-Bowles and Henry Jeffreys)

27 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jame's got some of her own executive orders to make... let us know if you agree with her. Jane and Fi also cover fantasy fiction, penis portions and c...

OFF AIR... EXTRA (with Baroness Scotland)

24 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Friday! We're bringing you a bonus episode this Friday featuring an interview from our Times Radio afternoon show (2-4pm, Monday to Thursday). ...

Uplifted by sexy dragons (with Bishop Rose Hudson-Wilkin)

23 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Thursday! Jane and Fi ponder the genre of romantasy, the satisfaction of doing laundry and the word 'uncouth'. Plus, Rt Revd Rose Hudson-Wilkin...

This is our incessant internal dialogue (with Julia Black)

22 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to Jane and Fi's incessant internal dialogue; we hope it provides some respite from your own. Today, they discuss Bounty bars, Tunbridge Wells...

He was a great lover with ulcerated legs!

21 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Why isn't it called the Isle of Woman? What's all the fuss about Bicester Village? And why is catching a celebrity farting so thrilling? All the big q...

Livid in a formal way (with Mary Robinson)

20 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Monday! Jane's been to the blood 'doning' centre, there's a loud person in Fi's tummy, Dora's missed the litter tray, and Nancy's been given a f...

A cock-up shared is a cock-up halved (with Heston Blumenthal)

16 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have both brought in packed lunches today, but Jane's is raising eyebrows... They also discuss dog sh*t, motherhood, and sex education fro...

Be sure to not confuse a par avion envelope with a condom (with Paula Radcliffe)

15 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to the podcast that allows Jane and Fi to monetise their experiences and friendship. In this episode, they discuss Piers Morgan hoarding Bount...

Armed with carrots and condoms (with Lindsay Nicholson)

14 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Did the great explorers lie? What did Fi really get for her O-Levels? Will Jane be stood up at the Barbican? All the big questions are answered today....

Jane Garvey, decorated marathon runner (with Luke Jones)

13 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Monday! Fi's been to the cinema, without fully understanding the premise of the film, and Jane's been in touch with Avanti West. There's also ch...

OFF AIR... EXTRA (with Dame Sally Davies)

10 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Friday! We're bringing you a bonus episode this Friday featuring an interview from our Times Radio afternoon show (2-4pm, Monday to Thursday). ...

A long way from drugs and debauchery (with Susannah Constantine)

09 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ray Garvey, if you're reading this, we want to hear from you! To the rest of you, welcome to this episode of the podcast. Jane and Fi chat imaginary f...

I do like the opportunity to complain (with Jennie Godfrey)

08 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this wide-ranging episode, Jane and Fi cover silent divorce, fun guys, Iain Dale's television, zips, climate change, property shows and imaginary f...

My middle name is Susan, not intrepid.

07 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When are the Traitors really eating? Have you had a Kings Tart? What exactly is travelling? All the big questions are tackled in today's episode. Ther...

Private time with Rod (with Lucy Worsley)

06 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's Divorce Day, it's nearly 8:30, and Jane and Fi are back! Welcome! In this episode, they cover reduced Christmas decorations, sausage dogs on rail...

Popping upstairs to iron the napkins!!!

25 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Merry Christmas from the Off Air team! We hope this email special Christmas bonus episode brings you some festive cheer. Jane and Fi chat destitute do...

It's all about the baby Jesus! (with Julia Samuel)

19 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

She's back in the building! Yes, Fi joins Jane in the studio for their final episode before they 'break up' for the Christmas period. A bonus Christma...

I'm a vintage blue tit!

18 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The ladies are still not reunited but they're together in spirit, and wondering if they should put their faces on 3000 piece jigsaw puzzle. Well why n...

Am I in danger of sounding a trifle pompous? (with Ben Macintyre)

17 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's still at home but feeling better. However, relationships with Nancy are somewhat tense. Jane and Fi chat cable-tied wreaths, house guests, and go...

Gardeners that Jane gets her twinkle out for (with Alan Titchmarsh)

16 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Fi joins us from home today as she's not very well. After she's let Nancy out, Jane and Fi chat vasectomies, bell ringing and Shetland.Plus, gardener ...

Returning to smoking and tap dancing (with Sir Bill Browder)

12 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Are you a bell ringer? Were you the first person to ever use the word 'chillax'? How do you feel about plastic chairs? We want to hear from you! There...

Fairy porn for the middle-aged lady

11 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have some editorial notes for certain globally successful authors: more wings, a bit more fur, and some claws. They also chat double vasec...

I would've dated a lamppost, happily (with Rob Brydon)

10 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you've ever fallen in love with a lamp post, a bollard, a fire hydrant, or a post box, then welcome! You're in good company. Jane and Fi also chat ...

We show our grati-Judi (with Juliet Stevenson)

09 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

'Tis the season - Jane's tree is en route and Fi's came rather late last night. The Lady has also arrived and is providing some giggles. And some chat...