Off Air with Jane & Fi
Episodes
There's always nuance... (with Prof. Kate Williams)
07 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Fi of Slough and Jane the Short and Wise bring you this name-centric episode. Amongst the discussion of surnames, maiden names, middle names and names...
Don't let her back! She's trouble! (with Zandra Rhodes)
06 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Where are you listening to us today? Why not do everyone a favour and play us out loud at your GP surgery, dentist or opticians? You'll hear discussio...
Got anything else in your locker, William? (with Jon Holmes)
05 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What grade would William Shakespeare receive at university? Would TV characters live longer if they just closed their curtains? What would Jane and Fi...
Book Club - Missing, Presumed
02 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are back with their sixth book club - get your celery sticks at the ready...'Missing, Presumed' was written by Susie Steiner. Her husband,...
Common-adjacent (with Mick Herron)
01 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There's a funny smell in the studio today... is it the smell of the 1970s? Is it the smell of Homme?Also, keep an eye out for Parish notices, some rec...
Sent reeling by double-decker accusations (with Meera Sodha)
31 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
More highlights from the Olympics stick in Jane and Fi's minds and we hope they bring you some light during this difficult week. They also cover bins ...
Stark naked, starting the 100m (with Prof. Brian Cox)
30 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The heat wave has got to Jane and Fi so buckle up for this episode... they cover foxes, naked Olympics and the true history of Kellogg's.Plus, Jane sp...
Investigating a gentlemen's rain-repellent hair putty
29 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi were left feeling slightly underwhelmed by the opening ceremony and they're not afraid to make it known! Let us know your thoughts... They...
Great big fat cadences of hard rock! (with Denise Welch)
25 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are musing over their lunch choices (don't say we don't treat you!) after that they get round to Parish notices and discuss heavy metal, a...
Happy but private times (with Mark Cavendish)
24 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The days of stroking legs are gone... do with that what you will. Jane is thinking about the dog equivalent of a litter tray, meanwhile, Fi is losing ...
Powerful side-eye (with Elizabeth Day and Sara Collins)
23 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi reminisce on romantic partners of yesteryear but there are some conditions... They also muse of ageism, 'dreaded' wheat and US politics. ...
Popped her prediction cherry (with Carol Kirkwood)
22 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Mystic Garv is on her high horse today but can she stay on this roll? We predict not... Jane and Fi also chat Robert Dyas loyalty cards, cheese vendin...
Men whisperers...(with Movember)
19 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this special bonus episode brought to you by Movember, Jane and Fi chat about men's health, the impact it has on society and the importance of...
Have we got big nests? (with Rob Rinder)
18 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today, Jane and Fi get an insight into life in America from fellow listeners - vending machine bullets? No thank you! They also discuss whether West L...
Is there ANYTHING good about our lives? (with Mary Beard)
17 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Dancing over the fog-horn testing centre, Jane and Fi are covering about a 'billionty' other topics, from eating marmalade straight from the jar, and ...
I've just got too many Allen keys (with Tiggy Walker)
16 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today, Jane and Fi take a moment to think about the dark world of parenting before CBeebies. They also chat about skew-whiff black bin numbers, resign...
It's not too late... actually it is!
15 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today Jane expresses her disappointment following the Euros whilst Fi is wonders how tennis players pick their balls. They also reflect on a world bef...
You're so old you'll have to get married in a trouser suit! (with Nina Conti)
11 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ayesha Hazarika sits in for Jane today and she pulls back the curtain on the House of Lords - much to Fi's delight. They also chat abattoirs (again), ...
We are the weirdos (with Sir Trevor Phillips)
10 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane lists the qualities she looks for in a partner - please grab a pen and paper! After that, they cover wheelie bins, oven temperatures and more aba...
Quite a lot of Monty-Donery out there...
09 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Wimbledon dates have got Jane's head in a spin so do bear with us... Once that's sorted, Jane and Fi chat allotments, hospital instructions and trad w...
His fifth wife must be an optimistic soul...
08 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are back from covering election night and they are ready to debrief. Today's episode will scratch your plumbing itch and make sure you hol...
A bit of a ninja turtle is he? (with Griffin Dunne)
04 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane is in Yorkshire whilst Fi heads to Surrey in preparation for election night so this episode is brought to you via the wonders of modern technolog...
And how many 'Confessions' films have you seen? (with David Baddiel)
03 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are back in full swing with more of your window cleaner tales, all very suitable for the airwaves...just. Plus, net curtain chat! Yes, it ...
Drunk in a French department store (with Geoff Norcott)
02 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are reunited and it feels so good! They discuss the need for electric hot rods, Jane's small cactus and window cleaner etiquette. They ar...
Warning: Just a tiny bit more politics... (with Matt Chorley and Sir Anthony Seldon)
01 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane has returned from her week off refreshed but is missing one Fi Glover - so until Fi returns, Times Radio's Matt Chorley keeps the seat warm. They...
LIVE AT CROSSED WIRES FESTIVAL: Part Two
26 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are away all this week so we're bringing you a special two-part live episode from their show at The Crucible Theatre in Sheffield. In this...
LIVE AT CROSSED WIRES FESTIVAL: Part One (with Richard Coles)
24 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are away all this week so we're bringing you a special two-part live episode from their show at The Crucible Theatre in Sheffield. They're...
60 is just a number and a Freedom Card (with Tom Bower)
20 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are about to break up for their summer holidays but there's much to cover before that... In this episode Jane and Fi discuss funeral flowe...
Not in birthday month, please. (with Jill Halfpenny)
19 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The festivities continue for Jane's impending birthday with several Colins en route - no expense has been spared! After she's finished opening some ca...
But Princess Anne never did sidesaddle! (with Ashley John-Baptiste)
18 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane is reflecting on her upcoming birthday and Fi has some hard truths about the milestone... They also chat riding sidesaddle, cruises and retiremen...
Making noises getting off the sofa...
17 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Mystic Jane is defending her predictions after a weekend of football. More to come on that front... They also discuss milestone birthdays, pro and con...
Your History: A new podcast from The Times
14 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This Friday we're sharing an episode of a brand new podcast from The Times. It's called Your History, and each week it uses the obituary pages of The...
I think the orgy was in Welsh... (with Andi and Miquita Oliver)
13 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are 'bigging up Britain' and some of their suggestions are a bit of a stretch... Do get in touch if you can do any better! They also cover...
Residents of Basingstoke! Consider Winchester!
12 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane survived Redcar and she has some thoughts she'd like to share... brace yourselves! Then there's more motor-home tales, advice on ticks and a tiny...
Warning: May contain some politics (with Matt Chorley)
11 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In case you haven't heard (you must be the only one), Jane is in Redcar on the election bus. Times Radio's Matt Chorley fills in today as a double thr...
Stop The Cats (with Jon Ronson)
10 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane is climbing aboard the Times Radio broadcasting bus and she's making sure everyone knows about it! Then there's more chats of motor homes, warmed...
They always pick on Scousers! (with Harlan Coben)
06 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Mystic Garv is back and she's got some quite rogue predictions... There's also lots of vehicle-chat so keep your ears peeled for mentions of Ted Heath...
Jane and Fi, your local MPs... (with Tom Kerridge)
05 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In today's show, Jane and Fi chat about the hierarchy of pain, carriages for cats and things that grow in the dark. They are also joined by Tom Kerri...
Tragically alone in the sumptuous booth of love (with Colm Tóibín)
04 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Fi is sadly unwell today so Jane is flying solo. There's more chat of dogs in buggies, Bull's Blood and some important points made on care. Plus, she'...
Cheese and onion can distract the best of us! (with Doon Mackichan)
03 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are back from Sheffield and feeling good! They chat the price of wagyu beef, dogs in pushchairs and confusing bin systems.Plus, Fi speaks ...
Your resting face is a little off-putting...
30 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane's received some criticism in the inbox and she's ready to tackle it head on! Don't say we're not fair... After that, they chat surgical stockings...
Watching The Queen, clutching a 4-pack of toilet roll (with Frank Gardner)
29 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane Garvey is back! And she has anecdotes aplenty... Brace yourselves! In this slightly bonkers episode, Jane and Fi cover sea-swimming, King Charles...
The closest we'll ever get is each side of a pair of espadrilles!
28 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's Jane M's (Other Jane/Secondhand Jane/Supply Jane/Locum Jane/Jane By Proxy/Substitute Jane/Jane 2) last show before Garvey returns tomorrow! In th...
Down she goes! Just leap over her!
23 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Many names for Jane M emerge in this episode - how many can you count? Fi and Jane also discuss roller discos, parish notices and foreign accents. ...
Scrubbing your teeth with Fixodent Plus...
22 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Fi and Jane M have treated you to two intros today... lucky you. In other news, Fi poses her theory that the size of your thigh may determine your car...
Beware of the size of your jacket potato! (with Jonathan Dimbleby)
21 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane G is away so Jane M is here to play! Fi speaks about her plans to get a “job-stopper” face tattoo… And Jane M responds with an anecdote of ...
Garvey and Glover's Tops and Bottoms TM
20 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In today's email special, Jane enlightened Fi on 'mucky-tube'... buckle in for that. They also cover beautiful pebbles, Jane's Esther McVey impression...
This is worse than being married
16 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Is there such a thing as a funny Immodium story? What about a romantic pre-wedding wax? We may never know.In the meantime, Jane and Fi are joined by d...
Stripped naked at the brow place (with Liz Hurley)
15 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi have some BIG Crossed Wires news so listen out for that! They also chat window tax, bank robbery and Raymondo. Plus, Fi speaks to actress...
Some very saucy snails coming towards you... (with Tina Brown)
14 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today, Jane and Fi are asking some big questions: Can you take your bra off with one hand? What size is one size fits all? Could you be a silent, inti...
A long way from Katie Boyle
13 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Fi's feeling buoyed after a weekend of sunshine - we hope you are too. They chat Eurovision, ageing and plot holes in Red Eye.Plus, co-creator of the ...
Meat on the loose!
10 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this email special, Jane and Fi tackle a wide range of issues that you've sent in. They chat niche childhood phobias, sibling jostling and immersio...
Poetry I'd rather not (with Janey Godley)
09 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's Thursday, the end is in sight! And we'll be seeing you all way through Friday this week too as an email special will drop tomorrow morning! In th...
Like a Chelsea Pensioner at a rave (with Martin Freeman and Tony Schumacher)
08 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi didn't win an award but that's ok, because they didn't want it anyway... not one bit. In this episode, they also share their non-negotiabl...
They do hang low at that age... (with Ryan Tubridy)
07 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane's complaining about the bank holiday weather but she doesn't let it ruin her trade-mark sunny attitude... They also reminisce about old radio gam...
Book Club - A Dutiful Boy
06 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are back with their fifth book club - and this one is proved to be a bit of a tear-jerker... A Dutiful Boy is written by Mohsin Zaidi, wh...
May your chafing turn nasty! (with Niall Ferguson)
02 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Fi brings good news, brace yourself! After she finishes discussing nature, Jane and Fi chat naturists, heckling and Echo Dots. Plus, they're joined...
Boys who love each other in a military setting (with Aasmah Mir)
01 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi deal with lots of official matters in this episode: their work rota, local elections, Ofsted and public nudity...Plus, they're joined by T...
Let's share a thimble of sherry! (with Rachel Parris and Marcus Brigstocke)
30 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Jane and Fi go from West Country porn to exploring why we're obsessed with the breakdown of relationships. Fi also shared Cool Cat's ...
The stark naked coffee club (with Martin Clunes)
29 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today, Jane and Fi say Goodbye to speaking about Morris Dancers - may you prance in peace. Plus, Jane shares some speculative information she overhear...
And now: conception (with Vogue Williams)
25 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are talking being gross while out for a run, the perfect age to watch the Carry On films, and the fact that every now and then women can b...
There's no Brexit in space
24 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are wondering how they'd cope with getting the ick on the International Space Station. And whether they can get away with saying the word ...
Saint George was a bit of a tart (with Salman Rushdie)
23 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are putting the big question into Bing so you don't have to.. After that, they discuss Freedom Passes, naturism and spitting. Plus, they'...
A rather rude Midsomer Murders bingo card (with David Nicholls)
22 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi play a game of Midsomer Murders bingo, naturally. They also discuss elopement, marathons and spitting.Plus, they're joined by author David...
We do find ourselves in awkward positions... (with Marian Keyes)
18 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Are you keen on democracy? Do you often wonder which friend you'd call in a hostage situation? Do you sometimes just think men are a bit silly? Then t...
Hello everybody, this IS my first rodeo (with John O'Farrell)
17 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today Jane and Fi get a real telling off for failing to appreciate the art of Morris dancing. They now want to know, what do you use for your thrills ...
You shouldn't be hopping in your adult life!
16 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Fi's experienced something traumatic and she needs to get it off her chest. Once that's done, there's more Morris dancing chat, Deliveroo shaming and ...
Morris dancers give me the willies
15 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane's been attempting to understand the British cultural institution of terrible Saturday night telly, and Fi's pitching an Olympics for the third ag...
I had a FEW scoops
11 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane risks being caught by the paparazzi in a vulgar display of commonalty, while Fi asks: why bother with colonic irrigation when you can just drink ...
I'm plucking at chest hairs here (with Adele Roberts)
10 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"Surprise surprise!" sings Fi in her best Cilla Black voice. Today, Jane and Fi ponder on Tom Dudley's buboes and the dangers of shoddy handwriting. ...
Jane Garvey's Chunky Buts (with Anthony Horowitz)
09 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are pondering potential future job opportunities and Jane's seemingly ruining any chance of hers... Amongst that, they also discuss rats, ...
Stapler to the stars (with Helen Lederer)
08 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are back together and they're cracking into a bar of Milka, do excuse them... After that, they chat pickles, eclipses and ferry tours. Th...
There are so many men at the top of mountains (with Ray Mears)
04 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the merry-go-round of fun that is Off Air, Fi and Jane M are pitching for dating apps to start basing their matches on the state of your kitc...
Deliveroo My Paperoo (with Arlene Phillips)
03 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Fi and Jane M have been work-shopping collapsible colander merch. They also chat about Jane's kink of dating people with opposing political views and ...
Weaponizing a jacket potato
02 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane M's headphones only has sound coming through one ear but it's helping her feel closer to her dad (every cloud...) Fi and Jane M also discuss affa...
Bottom medicine (with Sara Cox)
01 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Happy Easter! Fi's back but Jane G is now off for a week (keep up!) so Fi and Jane M are here to keep you company this bank holiday Monday. They chat ...
I'm just going to lower the tone enormously
28 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's your last dose of Jane² this week. Today they're doing apologies as well as correcting the record on microwave baked potatoes...The Reverend Kat...
Meeting the love of your life in SpudULike
27 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane² are bringing you an email special and they tackle all the big questions. What's in their everything drawers? Is Jane G related to Pom Boyd? Wil...
100% bonk-buster (with Ade Adepitan)
26 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane M is experiencing mixed feelings about a certain former prime minister and Jane G is having none of it. They also cover Balham, women-only clubs ...
Dancing in quite a narcissistic way
25 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Fi's off this week so we've got some good old fashioned Jane² fun for your Monday evening. They discuss new age camping, good funerals and successful...
Retinue of Flunkies (with Gino D'Acampo)
21 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's Fi's last day before she's off a week and emotions are high! Before she jets off to East London, they discuss vaping, owning your urges and Freem...
It's time to think of Jane.
20 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The pilot light is on. Welcome. Today, Jane and Fi discuss hedgehogs, the Kate-o-meter and Irish funerals. Plus, journalist Jenny Kleeman discusses h...
Leslie Phillips with knobs on (with Geoff Norcott)
19 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi discuss a new potential business venture, but it does need a bit of work... They also cover skiving, 3 wick candles and boarding schools. ...
Nostalgic smells of a phone box...
18 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Wishing you a happy St Gertrude’s Day! Jane and Fi discuss that plus Digbeth bus station, career changes and foreign exchanges. Plus, Fi speaks to ...
Several socks short of a drawer (with David Baddiel and Sayeeda Warsi)
14 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are talking LinkedIn, koalas taking themselves to hospital and why you should never trust a bank.They're joined by David Baddiel and Sayee...
In the factual sin bin (with Jay Blades)
13 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi tackle the big questions in this episode: Is Taylor Swift an only child? Where is the dullest place in Europe? And how many more cricket p...
I'll sleep on a slinky given half a chance (with Tom Allen)
12 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane has to run off to do big business things with the big boss but, before she gets plucked from the studio, Jane and Fi discuss gentle folk, frozen ...
Two women in the prime of their lives (with Linda Robson)
11 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There's more extracts from the fruitful genre of 'celebrity non-fiction' so listen out for that... Jane and Fi also discuss compressed meat, foreign e...
A brioche operating in a dirty mac with a funny hat
07 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's the eve of International Women's Day and Jane and Fi are besides themselves! We hope you're feeling empowered... In this giddy episode, Fi runs ...
Strut, pose, maybe seduce
06 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Your emails have been pouring in (which we really appreciate!) so we had no choice but to bring you a very special, emails only, episode. Jane and Fi ...
Be more like me, be more patronising (with Ruby Wax)
05 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Raye, if you're listening to this podcast, you have a new fan in Jane Garvey! Congratulations! Everyone else listening to this podcast, we hope you en...
Sailing across a sea of ignorance
04 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane needs to get her headphones plugged in first but once she has they discuss Austrian spas, re-using frozen peas and womanhood.Plus, they're joined...
Book Club - An Elderly Lady Is Up to No Good
01 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are back with their fourth book club - and this one is causing some revelations...An Elderly Lady Is Up to No Good is written by Helene Tu...
Honestly, it makes me tingle
29 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane has just about finished her three hour salad, and in the meantime Fi's been worrying about baths being anywhere but the bathroom. They're joined ...
Birthday Boxing Day!
28 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's the day after Fi's birthday and there's much to debrief. Jane and Fi discuss biting your tongue at work, following cat wee and koalas with koalas...
Abundant paraphernalia on the bed (with Cathy Newman)
27 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to this VERY special episode of Off Air... It's Fi's birthday! Woo! Sadly, Barbara the cat didn't get the memo and has been leaving Fi undesir...
Identification of the chin hairs (with Davina McCall)
26 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Fi had a PAL-AV-UH in Brighton and Jane doesn't have much sympathy. Once they move past that, they chat estate agent pictures, pensions and star signs...
Alexa, get me a fella! (with Oti Mabuse)
22 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi have a small confession about their intro into the guest today - hang around until the end of the episode to hear that. They also chat lon...
A terrifying 183% (with Richard Hammond)
21 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane nearly chokes on a piece of seaweed but once she's past that, they discuss eradicated dandruff, sourdough and penis enlargement. They're joined ...
What happens if my skirt just falls off? (with John Torode)
20 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jane and Fi are getting kicked out of the studio so Fi puts herself on 1.5x speed. Before that happens, they discuss meconium memories, characterful k...