Off Air with Jane & Fi

I'll probably be arguing with somebody...

27 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If you're hoping to hide in the laundry room away from all the stress of Christmas, you won't fit - Jane and Fi are already in there. To tide you over...

In defence of artificial grass (LIVE at Afternoon Tea with Jane and Fi - Part 2)

26 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this live bonus episode, Jane and Fi host afternoon tea at Times Towers. With Jane Mulkerrins as their host, they answer audience questions.If you ...

I think I've got a resting b*tch face (LIVE at Afternoon Tea with Jane and Fi - Part 1)

25 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this live bonus episode, Jane and Fi host afternoon tea at Times Towers. With Jane Mulkerrins as their host, they reflect on their career and play ...

You do continence, I'll do Eric Clapton (with Lucy Worsley)

21 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Once we get our headphones plugged in, Off Air is a-go. On this final on-the-day instalment of the pod for the year, Jane gives you an audio guide of ...

Releasing wind and letting the women do the work (with Julia Samuel)

20 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Off Air has hit 10 million downloads! Hooray! So, we celebrated with a very special cake (you can see that on our Instagram @janeandfi).Once all that ...

We're living in a flush and forget society

19 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have had a long day; Fi has done a reading at a carol service, and Jane arrived at the end because she got the wrong time. Today we retur...

A wee of almost bovine quantities (with Miriam Margolyes)

18 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The festive season is staggering towards us, and Jane and Fi are staggering with it. Not just that, but Jane has been doing Christmas shopping, and al...

I do give my chef the weekend off

15 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this special in partnership with The National Lottery, Jane visited ‘Cook For Good’, the Islington based community kitchen and food pantry...

Has she farted in front of you? (with Maria McErlane)

14 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's an all-girl action-pack this evening as team Jane and Fi are off for their Christmas dinner!Jane and Fi are talking about avoiding social events ...

Trying to associate youths on the bus with whooshing romanticism

13 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're all getting giddy for Christmas as the team dinner looms! Before that can happen, Jane and Fi must do a couple more podcasts. They chat stamps, ...

I don't want to see you when you're hangry (with Ade Edmonson)

12 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are very excited about their Christmas dinner, so they take a whistle-stop tour through topics including cats as neckwear, sophisticated f...

A bit of 'O Come, All Ye Faithful' before a few drinks

11 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's another email special and Jane's quite hungover so Fi's carrying this one. They chat dinosaur skulls, Sting's neck and adults drinking squash. T...

Book Club - Boy Swallows Universe, Trent Dalton

08 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are back with their third book club instalment - they've been reading 'Boy Swallows Universe' by Trent Dalton.Join them as they respond to...

It certainly sealed your bowels...

07 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's another email special and this one is all over the place. Jane and Fi chat different tube lines, wipe-clean book covers and Madonna's wedding. P...

My urine is vertical (as decided by Fi)

06 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is still making sure to read out your compliments so do keep them coming. We fear what might happen if she runs out... In this email special, Ja...

Ms. This App Is Crap (with Deborah Meaden)

05 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is bursting for a wee and Fi isn't helping matters. Before Jane dashes off, they discuss power cuts, greyhound suffragettes and asserting their f...

Awaiting the arrival of my pink ombré plastic tree

04 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is in the building!! This is not a drill!! She joins Jane back in the studio to discuss washing your duvet, the lack of catheters in TV shows and e...

Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living? (with Kate Atkinson)

30 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is still joining us through the ether, but we live in hope... Together Jane and Fi discuss awful pick up lines, non-traditional Christmas' and cele...

Straight to the Tate with a breast pump

29 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The much-missed Fi is battling new technology to join Jane for today's podcast.It's the inaugural edition of 'Rays Reviews' - where Jane's 90-year-old...

Are you alluding to my misspent youth?

28 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is back (sort of)! She joins Jane via Zoom from home. They cover non-noisy fruit, middle aged online dating and earliest memories. Plus, Jane spea...

I love nothing more than talking to myself (with Tim Rice)

27 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is still sadly off with illness so Jane is flying solo! She gets through your emails and covers afternoon tea, twins and flooding.Plus, Jane speaks...

I'm not a fully paid up anorak (with Anton Du Beke)

23 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane² are back for day two as Jane Mulkerrins fills in for Fi. They chat waxing near the printers, having a freezer full of crumpets, and getting you...

I'll keep her seat warm but I won't be licking it

22 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is off with illness so we bring you good old Jane² as Jane Mulkerrins fills in. The Janes discuss Nigel Farages' buttocks, bed-airing and Jane G's...

Nostalgic for 'women's things' (with Laura Trevelyan and Clive Lewis)

21 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Book club is wrapping up this week so Jane and Fi make their final bid for you to get your thoughts in! They also discuss period pants, London's train...

Too much girth, not enough remuneration (with Philippa Gregory)

20 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The count down is on in this episode (I'm not joking)! As Fi's timer ticks away, they discuss celebrity toilet encounters, upgraded train seats and ad...

A quandary for the shorter lady

16 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Last night, Jane and Fi were at an extremely important corporate event. Fi made a faux pas, and Jane fell off a chair. We're wrapping up the week wit...

Here's a genuine bit of sincerity for you

15 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Before today's email special episode begins, Jane is asking if she can move in with Fi, and Fi says no. Elsewhere, Jane and Fi go through all of the b...

Giant buttons and esophageal passages (with Lee Child)

14 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane has a giant button going down her esophageal passage, and Fi is less than impressed. Once they get over that, they're talking your most recent pe...

Age appropriate jiggery (with Martin Kemp)

13 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this rather culture-infused episode, Jane and Fi chat Cliff Richard, the theatre and climbing onto stools at 83 years old. Plus, they're joined by...

That itchy bum thing (with Caster Semenya)

09 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today it's Jane, Fi and Fi's extremely loud tummy. The three of them discuss celebs in panto, Jane's need to show off and "FerGie". Plus, they're jo...

Face bras and twin peaks (with Jilly Cooper)

08 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, Jane and Fi are trying not to ramble... Naturally, this results in them discussing age gaps, face bras and Jane Austen. And, they're ...

But what if we can't share anecdotes from the same Olympic Games? (With Monty Don)

07 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane has brought some interesting dating adverts with her to discuss with Fi. They also talk bikini lines, their ideas for the King's Speech, and Barb...

Members of the long bosom WI (with Dolly Alderton)

06 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's taking personal calls and Jane's doodling on herself. Amongst these distractions, they also discuss surfing events on The Seine, Christmas trees ...

Another sturdy-booted middle age lady going about her business (with Matt Willis)

02 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's almost the end of the week and there's lots to get through! Jane and Fi discuss surprising dog breeds, the tribulations of motherhood and Jane pa...

Don't hide your light under a bushel...

01 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane's imagining a poodle in glasses reading the paper, and Fi's wondering what counts as an outdoor Christmas decoration.They're joined by researcher...

THIS IS A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL, LEST WE FORGET!

31 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this spooky episode, Jane and Fi pose some important questions: How do we use colons? Is there such thing as the paranormal? Would you want to buy ...

Deja Vu in Bromley (with Clare Balding)

30 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's back for this particularly spooky episode. They discuss long bosoms, late night thrashing thoughts and priest holes... Beware! Plus they're join...

That can be our safe word (with Ed Gamble)

26 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Jane discuss the pros and cons of a fancy bagel, treating yourself on a Thursday and encounters of the other worldly kind.Comedian Ed Gamble ...

Lessons from an older less-experienced woman (with The Hairy Bikers)

25 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane G is a bit tongue tied by Jane M is here to support her. They cover having to work before lunch, middle-age men's hobbies and there's more sexual...

One's bosom just does change.

24 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane Mulkerrins is still sitting in for Fi, but who doesn't love a bit of Jane²? They chat well fitted bras, sexuality and brush up against book shel...

Head first into a tub of taramasalata!

23 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's off so friend of the show Jane Mulkerrins is sitting in! Jane and Jane discuss public transport, nipple free zones and the myth of jet lag. No b...

Why would a Mexican bandit be wearing a corset? (with Shaun Keaveny)

19 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's about to go off on her jollies but she has a podcast to get through first! Someone should probably tell her that... Before she dashes out the d...

Who knows what happens after a Cliff concert? (with Krishnan Guru-Murthy)

18 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi survived the shared black cab journey and are here to tell the tale. They also discuss first words, hotel freebies and Fi's Cliff Richard ...

I've clung to the idea I may be of regal blood (with John Whaite)

17 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are off to a book launch tonight... but Fi is less than thrilled about the prospect of sharing a taxi with Jane, who has been consuming le...

Jane the Imperious (with Iain Dale)

16 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane the Imperious and Fi attempt to measure the satisfaction they get from theirs jobs... what can go wrong? They also discuss evening routines, dog ...

I think there's a benign lazy streak in me (with Michael Ball)

12 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have come to the end of a jam-packed week, and need a quiet night in. But before that, they're talking about pet politics, hereditary lazi...

Distracted by a couple of hippos having sex (with Matt Chorley)

11 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are back from Cheltenham Literature Festival and they have a lot of emails to get through! They tackle online dating, books they'd never r...

Off Air Turns 1! (with Dom Joly and Peter Brathwaite at Cheltenham Literature Festival)

10 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Get your candles out, because Off Air turns 1 today! Jane and Fi are celebrating at Cheltenham. Deliciously delirious from both the festival and the c...

The hotel freebie tingle (with Shirley Ballas LIVE at Cheltenham Literature Festival)

09 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have ventured out of Times Radio Towers and are coming to you from Cheltenham Literature Festival today! Their main questions include: wha...

Rescuing your knickers from next door's buddleia

05 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are making a seamless transition into today's podcast, and they're asking all the big questions: are curtains better than blinds? What wou...

But we've already humped? (with Kevin McCloud)

04 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane shares, what she considers to be, the biggest issue of our time... washing pegs. Yes, really. They also discuss Tony's pepper mill, baths with st...

'I was listening to Ronan Keating at least once a day' (with Dame Esther Rantzen)

03 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Archers is still being discussed, to no one's surprise... But, they also manage to cover their journalistic capabilities, Nigel Farage on Strictly...

My pepper grinder is in need of a service (with Victoria Hislop)

02 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane's faffing so Fi kicks things off without her. Once she arrives, they chat high tech pepper grinders, the new book club pick and Miriam Margolyes'...

We hate each other really (with Kate Humble)

28 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have snacked their way through the day and are ready to talk about matching chocolate to your mood, swanning about in a slip, and Fi's pas...

Kefir on the verge (with Rose Tremain)

27 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is still trying to get Fi into The Archers and she's having none of it! They also reflect on the magic of time zones, neighbourhood Whatsapp grou...

Boris' bag of bras (with Ken Follett)

26 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is reunited with Ken Follett and she's thrilled. In this particularly giddy episode, they also chat HRT dreams and getting better in your 50's. ...

Who called their child 'Sex Fruit'?! (with Jeffrey Archer)

25 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's a bit of a mixed bag today as Jane Mulkerrins sits in for the big interview but Fi is here for the bulk of the podcast! They chat worms of apprec...

Book Club - My Sister the Serial Killer, Oyinkan Braithwaite

22 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have picked another opinion-dividing book for their second Book Club episode: 'My Sister the Serial Killer' by Oyinkan Braithwaite.Join th...

Firm buttocks, that's what we want (with Michel Roux Jr)

21 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Professional working mum, or concerned and thoughtful parent? Fi is facing a dilemma, while Jane is busy waving a loaf of sourdough bread around the o...

Malibu Garvey? (with London Hughes)

20 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi once again try to stay on track and fail miserably but along the way they cover Boots opening times, how Jane would fare in LA and uncomfo...

Unsalvageable bean dishes (with Trinny Woodall)

19 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi massively get the Tuesday giggles in this one but, before that, they chat Fi's chilli-con-carne-smugness, children flying the nest and sha...

Whatever this is... (with Rory Cellan-Jones)

18 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane's still saying 'cwassant' and Fi is still perplexed. Plus, they chat Russell Brand, tactical clothes drying and parental correspondents. They're...

The oohs and the yahs (with Robert Peston)

14 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi has hopes of making her fortunes in the adult pesto industry, while Jane is discussing being woken up by 'the noise of shenanigans', surviving sixt...

Something nearly as good as pancakes... sex! (with Clive Myrie)

13 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is a tad hangover so bear with them as they tackle elocution lessons, Meryl Streep audiobooks and multi-use hotels in today's episode. Plus, the...

Welcome to The Jane Garvey Tribute Chamber (with Anne Enright)

12 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are having an unusual day... as per. They chat buttock revealing one pieces, what would happen if Robert Peston's last name was 'pesto' an...

Thigh nipping fish?! (with Rory Stewart)

11 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are reunited and it feels so good. They have lots to cover including bald prime ministers, lidos and all the languages Jane speaks... Plu...

It's the-ATRE not THE-atre (with Anneka Rice and Stacey Solomon)

07 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is joined by Anneka Rice for the final time and once again Fi is being pulled up on her pronunciation of a certain word.They also chat to TV p...

You can't beat The Greatest Showman (with Clare Balding and Jason Donovan)

06 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is still joined by Clare Balding and they serenade you in this particularly bonkers episode of Off Air... plus, they discuss being studious, their ...

Almost like ABBA... almost (With Clare Balding and Lemn Sissay)

05 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is still off so another one of Fi's friends has stopped in. Clare Balding joins Fi to discuss cat monogamy, fear of carrots and tattoo choices. ...

Chaos trying to be reigned in (with Anneka Rice and Gyles Brandreth)

04 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is off on holiday, so it's up to Fi (with help from Anneka Rice) to wonder how many Camparis she's had so far. They're joined by Gyles Brandreth ...

Does S&M include much chilli sauce? (with Sarah Beeny)

31 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane G has been trying out a hot wings challenge, while Jane M was trying to escape Three Bridges Station.They're joined by property TV presenter Sara...

Will I be additionally bonkers tonight? (with Maggie Alphonsi)

30 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Jane are talking caravan holidays, howling at the moon and actively helping the environment by eating chips.They're joined by Maggie Alphonsi...

Drinking neat Campari at midday

29 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In the absence of 'wee Fi', Jane G is joined by Jane M, and will only be reading emails from people named Jane this week (just kidding).They discuss h...

Am I allowed to speak now? (with Sheela Banerjee)

17 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are reuniting decorative milk bottles with their international owners.They're also talking step-parents, sombreros and spellings.Sheela Ba...

No bobble was strong enough to contain the Garvey locks!

16 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are gearing up to turn their 'out of office' on but they've still got a show to do! They reveal who will be replacing them in their r...

That's another nut going down (with Deborah Meaden)

15 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are recovering from an almost on-air crisis that nearly happened but didn't. They're joined by Deborah Meaden, to talk about her new book ...

I long to squeeze one of those tomatoes (with Fats Timbo)

14 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is doing her best to cheer Jane up after a 're-shuffle' at her other job. They chat TV recommendations, hopeless babies and weeing on the collar of...

Fingers in the cream (with Sharron Davies)

10 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's a sporty special today: Jane laments her full time job getting in the way of her golf progress, Fi has an apology to make about netball and they'...

Wimpy and the queen's funeral

09 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have been in touch with the creator of the taxidermy sensation: Stoned Fox. They also ask the big questions: are man buns sexy? And what h...

You know me, I like a chunk (with Laura Whitmore)

08 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi talk family bathroom politics and delve into more taxidermy horrors. They also compare two on screen sensations: Barbie, and Greg Wallace'...

See attached half giraffe

07 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi discuss whether taxidermy can grow on you, or if it belongs in the family freezer. It's also the end of the penny farthing (for now...)The...

Spiritual blockages

03 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi discuss whether they would stuff their cats, and reflect on some sad aquariums and zoos. They also reveal the next book for their book clu...

Two fillings and a smear test

02 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi reflect on owning your success, trapped wind from both ends, and delve into more family holiday horrors. They're also joined by music jour...

My long suffering pac-a-mac

01 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi chat about the highs and lows of family holidays, their desire for a hand cream amnesty, and terrible raffle prizes. They're also joined b...

It's been ages since I measured mine (with Anna Richardson)

31 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi chat about a certain person's miracle meat, the ongoing issue of Jane's trapped wind, and family holiday politics. They're also joined by ...

Book Club - Fresh Water for Flowers

28 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The first book club has finally wrapped and Jane and Fi can't quite come to an agreement... Join them as they respond to your emails, Instagram messag...

Capers in the basement

27 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi discuss the contents of Jane's basement and try to work out why Rear Admirals are called Rear Admirals. Answers on a postcard please. They...

A couple of large fries stuck in your cleavage (with Carol Kirkwood)

26 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane's got trapped wind and Fi's rather upset about it, Fi checked her carbon footprint and the results are revealed AND more animal PR... Plus, ever...

Ladies' fluff (with Eddi Reader)

25 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are pondering why beavers have such good PR, whether they would consent to being micro-chipped and if Jane should put the heating on. They...

To lick or not to lick?

24 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi reflect on the highs (and licks) of Latitude Festival, and England's somewhat lack-lustre win over Haiti. And they are STILL talking Penn...

Live from Latitude Festival (with Richard Curtis and Emma Freud)

20 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are live at Latitude and they talk air-con and licking Mary Berry. Richard Curtis and Emma Freud join to talk about their Suffolk the...

He had three nipples and a lisp (with Lisa Jewell)

19 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi discuss great-great uncles, ongoing extreme heat and Jane reminds us how busy she is, actually.Plus, author Lisa Jewell joins Jane and Fi ...

Tapestry on the Northern line (with Katriona O'Sullivan)

18 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi chat about University Challenge and the prospect of sharing a bed.  Katriona O'Sullivan joins to speak about her memoir Poor, an...

Nothing against Harrogate

17 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is back at Jane's side after a week away. They talk about her trip to the Cotswolds, Michael Ball (again), and recalling a Yorkshire visit where th...

Penny-farthing watch (with Diana Bird)

13 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the final episode with Jane squared and they chat about the play Aspects of Love and bourbon balls. RAF Squadron Leader Diana Bird joins t...

Back-to-back Ball (with David Tennant)

12 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's another instalment of Jane and Jane. They're chatting trips to Las Vegas, more Penny-farthing sightings, and seeing Michael Ball in the West End....

Swifties unite! (with Katherine Faulkner)

11 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Jane discuss Taylor Swift ticket jeopardy, surprise Sunday morning visits from Showaddywaddy and Penny-farthing related journey delays.Sunday...

A three day streak (with James May)

10 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is off on her holidays, so it's a dose of double Jane - with Jane Mulkerrins in the hot seat all this week. They chat about getting your steps in, ...

The pinnacle of their podcasting career (with Caitlin Moran)

06 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's the last podcast before Fi goes on holiday, and she's 'slipped slapped up' a bit in a hot pink jacket (as a tribute to the forthcoming Barbie mov...

Don’t do a Madonna (with Kate Mosse)

05 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today Jane agonises over her trainer socks, Fi is worried about appearing on The Weakest Link and they discover that the herb dill hangs about all day...