Off Air with Jane & Fi

Are you wearing your girdle? (with Tim Key)

19 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is back! Jane is thrilled... can't you tell? And they've got lots of your emails to get through. They chat undergarments, scams and undesirable gol...

He's got mice down his trousers

15 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane G and Jane M have been told to 'keep it tight' on today's podcast, but they still have time to discuss welcome home cheese, the pros and cons of ...

Have you ever seen a nun at reformer pilates? (with Rosie Jones)

14 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane M is recovering from the leg wobbles while tensions run high between Jane G and producer Kate over some sound effects.They're joined by comedian ...

I just said quite loaded things like 'I gave birth to you' (with Caroline Quentin)

13 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane² is back with a bang, talking all things dead fox, Taylor Fever, and very large births. Caroline Quentin is our big guest today; actor, and now ...

Nobel Prize for Podcasting

12 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane G is reunited with Jane M and they're asking all the big questions: Would you bag up a dead fox and put it out with the bins? Are Tories really t...

Comfortable and cosy, or sexy and scintillating?

09 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's Friday and we're in your feed....it can only mean one thing: a very special, emails only, episode of Off Air.Jane and Fi talk pet cams and late i...

The smut-o-meter will be taking a battering

08 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's a bit giddy because she's going on holiday. Both are very much looking forward to the weekend, but not before this episode of Off Air hits your f...

It was a dizzy old crowd...

07 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are reliving their worst interview moments, discussing unremarkable genitalia and reviewing the London theatre scene. They're joined by Ca...

I've left my emotional voicemail on (with Prue Leith)

06 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have accidentally recommended a podcast they've never listened to, which gets them talking about seances, having a 'PBV friend' and losing...

Steady yourself against something firm (with Tracy-Ann Oberman)

05 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane's got some time to kill, so she and Fi are asking what the point of shopping is, talking about how to break into a so-called tight-knit community...

I'm still firmly anti cruise (with Tim Marshall)

01 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are live at Destinations: The Holiday and Travel Show, reassuringly close to Jane's house in West London. The pair discuss their dream hol...

I really have lost my sense of direction if I'm on Grindr

31 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are trying to keep up with all the latest app trends and have renamed themselves 'Jn Grvy + F Glvr'. Whilst we wait and see if that sticks...

The worst men in the world favour a golf caddy (with Candace Bushnell)

30 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, Jane and Fi decide they should be off doing their PhDs, considering their excellent grasp of detail. But before we get there, we go t...

I was an exceptionally slow walker, due to my bulk (with Jill Scott)

29 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Monday! Fi is manhandling microphones and Jane is feeling energised. Elsewhere, Jane and Fi share their film and TV picks, and we mark the end o...

P.S. leprechauns are real, obviously (with Dame Stephanie Shirley)

25 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is away today so we bring you Jane² this fine Thursday. They chat the myth of the Irish driving license, silicone testicles and Italian roots.Plus...

Gimme Gimme Gimme a technical man after midnight (with Sathnam Sanghera)

24 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There's lots to get through tonight because the likelihood is Jane has to get home to a fella on her flat roof... They chat #birthcanals, unfunny sitc...

Researching Ozempic for cats (with Tamsin Greig)

23 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane has been to a VERY important dinner and she's not letting Fi forget it. Amongst her many dinner anecdotes, they also discuss well-timed wees, fat...

Are you sitting comfortably and breathing through your feet? Then let's begin...

22 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane Garvey is off so for one night, and one night only, Jane Mulkerrins sits in (well, until the next time Jane and Fi are off). They work through th...

I just want beans on toast and a sleep (with Robert Hardman)

18 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are a little worse for wear after a margarita filled evening, but you definitely won't notice... until Jane starts buffering.They're joine...

Fantastic equipment, massive nipples

17 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is struggling to train a cat, Fi is unconvinced by slip-on shoes, and some tortoises somewhere are having very loud sex.They're joined by author ...

The Ponder On That think tank (with Alan Cumming)

16 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have been sent some cheese - the King's choice of cheese, which of course gets them on to more royal chat... they also manage to cover Ver...

Winner of an apple and pear jockstrap

15 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's a Monday and Fi reckons Jane isn't in the best mood but they're persevering! They chat Annie Nightingale, Jane's cooking and jockstraps. Plus, a...

Trimmings are for life, not just for Christmas

11 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is gazing into the middle distance, while Jane reminisces over her long lost German homestay. Award-winning children's writers Nadia Shireen a...

WARNING: Danger of sarong

10 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jane's got to get back to watch Vera but before that they discuss 'wacky baccy', breakfast tables and moon landings. Plus, musician turned author Dan...

Was it an absolutely fantastic fish cake? (with Simon Mayo)

09 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There's illness in the studio so Jane and Fi are keen to escape it but, before that, they discuss the Queen's podcast, HRT dreams and porn. Plus, Fi ...

Britney Spears in the US presidential race

08 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's episode of The Weakest Link has finally landed - were you watching? Fear not, they're about to discuss it as well as Simon Le Bon, Puy lentils an...

Go off on one of your crazies (with Sarah Alexander)

04 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's the last episode of the first week back! Hooray! Jane accuses Fi of being unusually enthusiastic about leaving her but before that they chat abou...

I can't imagine a worse place to make love

03 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to the second Off Air of 2024: we haven't made any changes, it's the same you-know-what. In fact, we return to the ma'am issue, talk premium b...

Lady Jane Ma'am-a-lot (with Jake Humphrey)

02 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Aaand we're back! Jane and Fi are reunited and chat Christmas TV, the Queen of Denmark and fantasy lives. And they're joined by a noise in the studio....

We're totally in 'Twixt-mas'

28 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Back to the laundry room to survive Chrimbo Limbo? You can squeeze in with Jane and Fi as they relive the best bits of 2023.They're joined by Dolly Al...

I'll probably be arguing with somebody...

27 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If you're hoping to hide in the laundry room away from all the stress of Christmas, you won't fit - Jane and Fi are already in there. To tide you over...

In defence of artificial grass (LIVE at Afternoon Tea with Jane and Fi - Part 2)

26 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this live bonus episode, Jane and Fi host afternoon tea at Times Towers. With Jane Mulkerrins as their host, they answer audience questions.If you ...

I think I've got a resting b*tch face (LIVE at Afternoon Tea with Jane and Fi - Part 1)

25 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this live bonus episode, Jane and Fi host afternoon tea at Times Towers. With Jane Mulkerrins as their host, they reflect on their career and play ...

You do continence, I'll do Eric Clapton (with Lucy Worsley)

21 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Once we get our headphones plugged in, Off Air is a-go. On this final on-the-day instalment of the pod for the year, Jane gives you an audio guide of ...

Releasing wind and letting the women do the work (with Julia Samuel)

20 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Off Air has hit 10 million downloads! Hooray! So, we celebrated with a very special cake (you can see that on our Instagram @janeandfi).Once all that ...

We're living in a flush and forget society

19 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have had a long day; Fi has done a reading at a carol service, and Jane arrived at the end because she got the wrong time. Today we retur...

A wee of almost bovine quantities (with Miriam Margolyes)

18 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The festive season is staggering towards us, and Jane and Fi are staggering with it. Not just that, but Jane has been doing Christmas shopping, and al...

I do give my chef the weekend off

15 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this special in partnership with The National Lottery, Jane visited ‘Cook For Good’, the Islington based community kitchen and food pantry...

Has she farted in front of you? (with Maria McErlane)

14 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's an all-girl action-pack this evening as team Jane and Fi are off for their Christmas dinner!Jane and Fi are talking about avoiding social events ...

Trying to associate youths on the bus with whooshing romanticism

13 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're all getting giddy for Christmas as the team dinner looms! Before that can happen, Jane and Fi must do a couple more podcasts. They chat stamps, ...

I don't want to see you when you're hangry (with Ade Edmonson)

12 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are very excited about their Christmas dinner, so they take a whistle-stop tour through topics including cats as neckwear, sophisticated f...

A bit of 'O Come, All Ye Faithful' before a few drinks

11 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's another email special and Jane's quite hungover so Fi's carrying this one. They chat dinosaur skulls, Sting's neck and adults drinking squash. T...

Book Club - Boy Swallows Universe, Trent Dalton

08 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are back with their third book club instalment - they've been reading 'Boy Swallows Universe' by Trent Dalton.Join them as they respond to...

It certainly sealed your bowels...

07 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's another email special and this one is all over the place. Jane and Fi chat different tube lines, wipe-clean book covers and Madonna's wedding. P...

My urine is vertical (as decided by Fi)

06 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is still making sure to read out your compliments so do keep them coming. We fear what might happen if she runs out... In this email special, Ja...

Ms. This App Is Crap (with Deborah Meaden)

05 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is bursting for a wee and Fi isn't helping matters. Before Jane dashes off, they discuss power cuts, greyhound suffragettes and asserting their f...

Awaiting the arrival of my pink ombré plastic tree

04 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is in the building!! This is not a drill!! She joins Jane back in the studio to discuss washing your duvet, the lack of catheters in TV shows and e...

Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living? (with Kate Atkinson)

30 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is still joining us through the ether, but we live in hope... Together Jane and Fi discuss awful pick up lines, non-traditional Christmas' and cele...

Straight to the Tate with a breast pump

29 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The much-missed Fi is battling new technology to join Jane for today's podcast.It's the inaugural edition of 'Rays Reviews' - where Jane's 90-year-old...

Are you alluding to my misspent youth?

28 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is back (sort of)! She joins Jane via Zoom from home. They cover non-noisy fruit, middle aged online dating and earliest memories. Plus, Jane spea...

I love nothing more than talking to myself (with Tim Rice)

27 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is still sadly off with illness so Jane is flying solo! She gets through your emails and covers afternoon tea, twins and flooding.Plus, Jane speaks...

I'm not a fully paid up anorak (with Anton Du Beke)

23 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane² are back for day two as Jane Mulkerrins fills in for Fi. They chat waxing near the printers, having a freezer full of crumpets, and getting you...

I'll keep her seat warm but I won't be licking it

22 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is off with illness so we bring you good old Jane² as Jane Mulkerrins fills in. The Janes discuss Nigel Farages' buttocks, bed-airing and Jane G's...

Nostalgic for 'women's things' (with Laura Trevelyan and Clive Lewis)

21 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Book club is wrapping up this week so Jane and Fi make their final bid for you to get your thoughts in! They also discuss period pants, London's train...

Too much girth, not enough remuneration (with Philippa Gregory)

20 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The count down is on in this episode (I'm not joking)! As Fi's timer ticks away, they discuss celebrity toilet encounters, upgraded train seats and ad...

A quandary for the shorter lady

16 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Last night, Jane and Fi were at an extremely important corporate event. Fi made a faux pas, and Jane fell off a chair. We're wrapping up the week wit...

Here's a genuine bit of sincerity for you

15 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Before today's email special episode begins, Jane is asking if she can move in with Fi, and Fi says no. Elsewhere, Jane and Fi go through all of the b...

Giant buttons and esophageal passages (with Lee Child)

14 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane has a giant button going down her esophageal passage, and Fi is less than impressed. Once they get over that, they're talking your most recent pe...

Age appropriate jiggery (with Martin Kemp)

13 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this rather culture-infused episode, Jane and Fi chat Cliff Richard, the theatre and climbing onto stools at 83 years old. Plus, they're joined by...

That itchy bum thing (with Caster Semenya)

09 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today it's Jane, Fi and Fi's extremely loud tummy. The three of them discuss celebs in panto, Jane's need to show off and "FerGie". Plus, they're jo...

Face bras and twin peaks (with Jilly Cooper)

08 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, Jane and Fi are trying not to ramble... Naturally, this results in them discussing age gaps, face bras and Jane Austen. And, they're ...

But what if we can't share anecdotes from the same Olympic Games? (With Monty Don)

07 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane has brought some interesting dating adverts with her to discuss with Fi. They also talk bikini lines, their ideas for the King's Speech, and Barb...

Members of the long bosom WI (with Dolly Alderton)

06 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's taking personal calls and Jane's doodling on herself. Amongst these distractions, they also discuss surfing events on The Seine, Christmas trees ...

Another sturdy-booted middle age lady going about her business (with Matt Willis)

02 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's almost the end of the week and there's lots to get through! Jane and Fi discuss surprising dog breeds, the tribulations of motherhood and Jane pa...

Don't hide your light under a bushel...

01 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane's imagining a poodle in glasses reading the paper, and Fi's wondering what counts as an outdoor Christmas decoration.They're joined by researcher...

THIS IS A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL, LEST WE FORGET!

31 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this spooky episode, Jane and Fi pose some important questions: How do we use colons? Is there such thing as the paranormal? Would you want to buy ...

Deja Vu in Bromley (with Clare Balding)

30 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's back for this particularly spooky episode. They discuss long bosoms, late night thrashing thoughts and priest holes... Beware! Plus they're join...

That can be our safe word (with Ed Gamble)

26 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Jane discuss the pros and cons of a fancy bagel, treating yourself on a Thursday and encounters of the other worldly kind.Comedian Ed Gamble ...

Lessons from an older less-experienced woman (with The Hairy Bikers)

25 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane G is a bit tongue tied by Jane M is here to support her. They cover having to work before lunch, middle-age men's hobbies and there's more sexual...

One's bosom just does change.

24 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane Mulkerrins is still sitting in for Fi, but who doesn't love a bit of Jane²? They chat well fitted bras, sexuality and brush up against book shel...

Head first into a tub of taramasalata!

23 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's off so friend of the show Jane Mulkerrins is sitting in! Jane and Jane discuss public transport, nipple free zones and the myth of jet lag. No b...

Why would a Mexican bandit be wearing a corset? (with Shaun Keaveny)

19 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi's about to go off on her jollies but she has a podcast to get through first! Someone should probably tell her that... Before she dashes out the d...

Who knows what happens after a Cliff concert? (with Krishnan Guru-Murthy)

18 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi survived the shared black cab journey and are here to tell the tale. They also discuss first words, hotel freebies and Fi's Cliff Richard ...

I've clung to the idea I may be of regal blood (with John Whaite)

17 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are off to a book launch tonight... but Fi is less than thrilled about the prospect of sharing a taxi with Jane, who has been consuming le...

Jane the Imperious (with Iain Dale)

16 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane the Imperious and Fi attempt to measure the satisfaction they get from theirs jobs... what can go wrong? They also discuss evening routines, dog ...

I think there's a benign lazy streak in me (with Michael Ball)

12 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have come to the end of a jam-packed week, and need a quiet night in. But before that, they're talking about pet politics, hereditary lazi...

Distracted by a couple of hippos having sex (with Matt Chorley)

11 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are back from Cheltenham Literature Festival and they have a lot of emails to get through! They tackle online dating, books they'd never r...

Off Air Turns 1! (with Dom Joly and Peter Brathwaite at Cheltenham Literature Festival)

10 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Get your candles out, because Off Air turns 1 today! Jane and Fi are celebrating at Cheltenham. Deliciously delirious from both the festival and the c...

The hotel freebie tingle (with Shirley Ballas LIVE at Cheltenham Literature Festival)

09 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have ventured out of Times Radio Towers and are coming to you from Cheltenham Literature Festival today! Their main questions include: wha...

Rescuing your knickers from next door's buddleia

05 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are making a seamless transition into today's podcast, and they're asking all the big questions: are curtains better than blinds? What wou...

But we've already humped? (with Kevin McCloud)

04 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane shares, what she considers to be, the biggest issue of our time... washing pegs. Yes, really. They also discuss Tony's pepper mill, baths with st...

'I was listening to Ronan Keating at least once a day' (with Dame Esther Rantzen)

03 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Archers is still being discussed, to no one's surprise... But, they also manage to cover their journalistic capabilities, Nigel Farage on Strictly...

My pepper grinder is in need of a service (with Victoria Hislop)

02 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane's faffing so Fi kicks things off without her. Once she arrives, they chat high tech pepper grinders, the new book club pick and Miriam Margolyes'...

We hate each other really (with Kate Humble)

28 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have snacked their way through the day and are ready to talk about matching chocolate to your mood, swanning about in a slip, and Fi's pas...

Kefir on the verge (with Rose Tremain)

27 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is still trying to get Fi into The Archers and she's having none of it! They also reflect on the magic of time zones, neighbourhood Whatsapp grou...

Boris' bag of bras (with Ken Follett)

26 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is reunited with Ken Follett and she's thrilled. In this particularly giddy episode, they also chat HRT dreams and getting better in your 50's. ...

Who called their child 'Sex Fruit'?! (with Jeffrey Archer)

25 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's a bit of a mixed bag today as Jane Mulkerrins sits in for the big interview but Fi is here for the bulk of the podcast! They chat worms of apprec...

Book Club - My Sister the Serial Killer, Oyinkan Braithwaite

22 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi have picked another opinion-dividing book for their second Book Club episode: 'My Sister the Serial Killer' by Oyinkan Braithwaite.Join th...

Firm buttocks, that's what we want (with Michel Roux Jr)

21 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Professional working mum, or concerned and thoughtful parent? Fi is facing a dilemma, while Jane is busy waving a loaf of sourdough bread around the o...

Malibu Garvey? (with London Hughes)

20 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi once again try to stay on track and fail miserably but along the way they cover Boots opening times, how Jane would fare in LA and uncomfo...

Unsalvageable bean dishes (with Trinny Woodall)

19 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi massively get the Tuesday giggles in this one but, before that, they chat Fi's chilli-con-carne-smugness, children flying the nest and sha...

Whatever this is... (with Rory Cellan-Jones)

18 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane's still saying 'cwassant' and Fi is still perplexed. Plus, they chat Russell Brand, tactical clothes drying and parental correspondents. They're...

The oohs and the yahs (with Robert Peston)

14 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi has hopes of making her fortunes in the adult pesto industry, while Jane is discussing being woken up by 'the noise of shenanigans', surviving sixt...

Something nearly as good as pancakes... sex! (with Clive Myrie)

13 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is a tad hangover so bear with them as they tackle elocution lessons, Meryl Streep audiobooks and multi-use hotels in today's episode. Plus, the...

Welcome to The Jane Garvey Tribute Chamber (with Anne Enright)

12 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are having an unusual day... as per. They chat buttock revealing one pieces, what would happen if Robert Peston's last name was 'pesto' an...

Thigh nipping fish?! (with Rory Stewart)

11 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane and Fi are reunited and it feels so good. They have lots to cover including bald prime ministers, lidos and all the languages Jane speaks... Plu...

It's the-ATRE not THE-atre (with Anneka Rice and Stacey Solomon)

07 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is joined by Anneka Rice for the final time and once again Fi is being pulled up on her pronunciation of a certain word.They also chat to TV p...

You can't beat The Greatest Showman (with Clare Balding and Jason Donovan)

06 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fi is still joined by Clare Balding and they serenade you in this particularly bonkers episode of Off Air... plus, they discuss being studious, their ...

Almost like ABBA... almost (With Clare Balding and Lemn Sissay)

05 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is still off so another one of Fi's friends has stopped in. Clare Balding joins Fi to discuss cat monogamy, fear of carrots and tattoo choices. ...

Chaos trying to be reigned in (with Anneka Rice and Gyles Brandreth)

04 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jane is off on holiday, so it's up to Fi (with help from Anneka Rice) to wonder how many Camparis she's had so far. They're joined by Gyles Brandreth ...