5 Ways to Kill Your Envy and Get Happier
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What is envy and why does it act as a happiness killer?
Today's episode is about a really unfortunate part of life. One that sucks the joy out of day-to-day existence on an all-too regular basis. And that's envy, the happiness killer. You know, I talk to people all the time who they wanted to have kids, for example, they couldn't have kids, and they see people with kids, and it's just they're filled with this bitterness as a result of that. Or they had a dream of other careers, and their dream just never came true. And they see people who don't deserve deserve the success and who have it and are just consumed by that envy and it's a really terrible thing. Why? Why do we have it? What's the basis of it? But more importantly, for the envies in your life, terrible or not so terrible, intense or mild.
What can you do to actually manage that envy and maybe even turn it into something beneficial? That's what we're talking about today.
Hey friends, welcome to Office Hours. I'm Arthur Brooks. This is our show about love and happiness and the science that can actually bring those ideas and those concepts more to your life and more to the lives of other people. I am a happiness teacher. I teach at Vanderbilt University. For the last seven years, I was at Harvard University bringing it to some of the greatest students in the world. But more importantly, I'm trying to bring these ideas to a much wider audience, which is why I do this show. Fundamentally, I want you to have more love and happiness in your life. But almost as importantly, I want you to become a happiness teacher and bring it to other people for two reasons. Number one is that builds a better world.
That gives us leverage. That's why I'm using this incredible platform of of modern media to do it. But also because one of the things that I know is that in the world of self improvement, insights are no match for habits, and habits only come when we share ideas with others. It's really interesting, isn't it? If you wanna do something consistently in your life, you gotta teach other people about it. If you wanna go to the gym, you gotta make it a habit. And the best way to make it a habit is by teaching other people how to work out. And so that's really what I'm talking about in my work. I want you to join me in the movement of happy, happiness professors. So thank you for joining me. Thank you for sticking with me.
Please do like and subscribe. One of the things that we learned about this show is that most of the people who are watching and listening to us actually are not subscribing to the show itself. It, you know, comes across the algorithm or or they kind of look for it you know, once a week or whatever it happens to be, but it's catch as catch can and it's much, much better for the algorithm. you're more likely to get it if you subscribe. But just as importantly, when you subscribe, it actually trains the algorithm behind the platforms on Spotify and on YouTube and on on Apple Podcasts to send it to other people who are kind of like you. So you're sharing the love a little bit really easily by subscribing.
So hit like and subscribe. We really appreciate it. And do feedback. Give us updates on your thinking about the episodes, things that you want us to cover. And you can do that by writing into the to the show at office hours at authorworks.com or putting a comment any place where you're watching or listening to this. We see it all. Another way to get this content is through my newsletter. Please do subscribe. It's free, comes out every Friday morning. It's got good jokes and good content. And uh quarter million of people around the world are currently subscribing. It has a very high open rate, which is incredibly encouraging and it gives a free way to have something delivered to you directly. get that by going to my website, Arthurbrooks.com slash newsletter.
And if you're interested in in meeting other people who are are passionate about this work as well, you can actually do a retreat on this. We have a series of retreats, some conducted by me, some not conducted by me. And you can find out more details at retreats.arthorbrooks dot com.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is envy and why does it act as a happiness killer?
0:00–4:23
2
How does Dante’s *Divine Comedy* illustrate the punishment for envy?
4:23–7:28
3
What is the difference between benign and malicious envy?
7:28–14:01
4
How does feeling envy affect the brain’s pain centers?
14:01–19:43
5
What common things do people tend to envy the most?
19:43–25:52
6
What are the five science‑backed ways to reduce envy and boost happiness?
25:52–30:27
7
How can you use social media wisely to curb envy?
30:27–34:37
8
What practical steps can you take right now to turn envy into admiration and gratitude?
34:37–51:21