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On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Stop Trying to “Win” An Argument With Your Partner! (THIS Shift Will Turn Conflict into Communication)

20 Feb 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: Why do we struggle to connect with our partners?

0.031 - 3.155 Unknown

This is an iHeart Podcast.

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Chapter 2: What are the everyday habits that create distance in relationships?

3.175 - 4.197 Unknown

Guaranteed human.

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Chapter 3: How can respect be the foundation of lasting love?

5.438 - 22.201 Unknown

This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom Podcast. Each January, men promise to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist Dr. Steve Poulter to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name.

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22.642 - 40.495 Unknown

Part of the way through the valley of despair is realizing this has happened, and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to The Mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanka Wally. And I'm Hari Kundabolu.

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Chapter 4: What is scorekeeping and how does it lead to resentment?

40.515 - 61.404 Unknown

It's a new year, and on the podcast Health Stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that, or am I just depressed? Health Stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone.

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Chapter 5: What are the different conflict styles in relationships?

61.664 - 67.382 Unknown

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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67.733 - 72.48 Mike Della Rocha

A new year doesn't ask us to become someone new. It invites us back home to ourselves.

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Chapter 6: How can the XYZ communication method improve our conversations?

73.281 - 90.667 Mike Della Rocha

I'm Mike Della Rocha, host of Sacred Lessons, a space for men to pause, reflect, and heal. This year, we're talking honestly about mental health, relationships, and the patterns we're ready to release. If you're looking for clarity, connection, and healthier ways to show up in your life, Sacred Lessons is here for you.

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Chapter 7: What is a 30-day agreement and how can it help couples?

91.228 - 97.217 Mike Della Rocha

Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Della Rocha on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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97.67 - 106.087 Jay Shetty

Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. Today we're talking about messy love, difficult conversations for deeper connection.

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Chapter 8: How can we effectively communicate feelings instead of accusations?

106.508 - 129.652 Jay Shetty

We're living in a time where people are more connected than ever before. Yet so many of us feel deeply disconnected in our relationships. We have access to endless information, constant communication and more tools than ever to improve our lives. We set goals for our careers, our health, our routines and our personal growth.

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129.672 - 152.526 Jay Shetty

But rarely do we pause to reflect on how we love, how we listen and how we show up for the people closest to us. Many of us were never taught what healthy love actually looks like. We weren't taught how to communicate when emotions run high, how to repair after conflict or how to feel safe being honest without fear of loss.

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153.167 - 175.551 Jay Shetty

Instead, we carry patterns from our past into our present, hoping things will somehow work themselves out. And when relationships feel messy, confusing, or painful, we often blame ourselves or the other person, without realizing that most of what we're experiencing is learned behavior, not personal failure.

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175.531 - 201.853 Jay Shetty

Today, I want to share five powerful relationship lessons from my new Audible original, Messy Love. Difficult conversations for deeper connection. My hope is that these are not just ideas for you to think about, but active practices you can bring in to your real life relationships. In my Audible original, Messy Love, I sit down with three different couples over three sessions each.

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202.594 - 225.636 Jay Shetty

Together, we explore how to build emotional safety, navigate conflict, and rebuild trust in their relationships. I'll walk you through five core principles from the series, and after each one, offer you a simple exercise you can try for yourself, whether with a romantic partner, a family relationship, or any bond that holds value for you.

225.616 - 246.77 Jay Shetty

And to hear how these tools come to life, make sure to check out Messy Love, available only on Audible. Audible's wellbeing collection has everything to inspire and support you in every step of your wellbeing journey. So let's get started. Principle one is all about influence, respect, and recognition.

247.571 - 272.299 Jay Shetty

Early in the series, I meet Amanda and Ryan, a couple who feel out of sync in their schedules and emotional connection with one another. I quickly identify that beneath their frustration is a shared desire to feel influence, respect, and recognition from one another for what they do. When we don't feel seen or valued, we start to build resentment.

272.86 - 297.769 Jay Shetty

Not because we don't care, but because we don't feel safe to keep giving. Let me share a moment from my conversation with Amanda and Ryan that really captures what this looks like in real life. As you listen, notice how both of them aren't actually arguing about tasks or schedules. They're wrestling with something deeper, the need to feel valued and understood in the relationship.

298.391 - 322.426 Jay Shetty

Hearing Ryan and Amanda share, it's becoming clear to me that the underlying core issue is respect, recognition and influence. In any relationship, people aren't really arguing just about the finances. They're arguing about, do I have an influence in the decisions we make? People are not just arguing over what roles they do or how many chores they have.

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