Generational Divides with Nick Gillespie: Are We Overcomplicating Love and Sex?
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What is the generational debate about whether Gen Z should have more sex?
Welcome to Open to Debate, everybody. I'm John Donvan. Today, we're having another conversation in our series called Generational Divides, hosted by Nick Gillespie, editor-at-large of Reason Magazine. This time, Nick is welcoming guests from three different generations to discuss sex and relationships. This conversation is made possible by a generous grant from Liberty Ears Foundation. And a quick note, this program does discuss sex and may not be suitable for all listeners. Nick, take it away. This is
Open
to Debate. I'm
Nick Gillespie. Welcome to our series called Generational Divides. Today, we're bringing together people of different ages, a Gen Xer, a millennial, and a Zoomer, to discuss sex and relationships. It's such a big part of our lives, but we can still be awkward and avoid talking about it. Dating and sexual norms in the U.S. have come a long way since our Puritan ancestors. Early courtship was strategic, formal, and typically didn't prioritize romantic love. The concept of dating wasn't even really invented until the late 19th century. Going steady came about in the 1950s. Then there were the sexual revolutions of the 1960s and 70s. Now there's hookup culture, love bombing, and situationships. Over time, romance has broadened to become less rigid, more inclusive, but always really confusing.
You might remember your grandparents telling you how they met. It may have seemed so simple, so uncomplicated by dating apps. In fact, my grandparents, one set of my grandparents had an arranged marriage. So do older generations have it all figured out, or have the kids stumbled onto something? Today, we want to hear what different generations think about dating trends, our changing attitudes towards sex, the rise of non-monogamy, and more. First, I want to welcome our Gen Zer Malavika Kannan. She's the author of the new novel, Unprecedented Times. She's taught at Stanford. Her work has appeared in New York Magazine, Vulture, The Washington Post, and more. She also has a relationship advice column with Teen Vogue.
Welcome, Malavika.
Thank you for having me.
Next, we have Carolyn D. Gorman, our millennial voice. Carolyn is a fellow at the Manhattan Institute where she researches how policy impacts people with mental illness. She served on the U.S. Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions, and she often examines the cultural norms that young people are navigating as they grow up in the U.S. Welcome.
Thank
you. And finally, we have James Sexton, our Gen Xer. He's a New York-based attorney whose practice focuses on divorce and family law. His clients include everyone from Fortune 500 CEOs to entertainment personalities to stay-at-home mom. He is the author of the book, How to Stay in Love. Welcome, James. Thanks so much. Good to be here. All right, let's start talking. Our first topic is, should Gen Z have more sex? We've all seen studies from the CDC, the Kinsey Institute, and places like that that show that Gen Z is having less sex than generations before did at the same age. Let's start with our Zoomer, Palavika. What are your thoughts on this? Is this a big deal?
I fundamentally think that any moral panic over who is or isn't having sex is sometimes just like not super productive. I think that if you are uninterested in entering a sexual playing field that is uneven and when there's a power dynamic that perhaps previous generations would have been conditioned to accept or even eroticize, I don't blame people who are not in the mood in those conditions.
Carolyn, what do you think?
Yeah, the
interesting
thing is every generation has seen a decline in the amount of sex that they're having as a young person. And I think what that tells me is whatever our sort of persistent message has been, something's wrong with that. What we've done is change the incentives around sex and responsibility, and specifically responsibility from men. The advent of birth control and the normalization of sex outside of marriage made there much less reason for men to feel obligated to women to stay in a married relationship.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the generational debate about whether Gen Z should have more sex?
0:01–7:51
2
How do the panelists define and evaluate ethical non‑monogamy versus monogamy?
7:51–14:40
3
Why are marriage and birth rates falling and what economic factors are behind them?
14:40–22:07
4
What role does technology—apps, porn, and social media—play in today’s dating landscape?
22:07–29:18
5
How does the brief break segment transition the conversation toward baby‑making policies?
29:18–36:08
6
Should society encourage more babies, and what are the arguments about climate, economics, and eugenics?
36:08–43:10
7
What quick insights emerge from the lightning‑round flash questions on dating norms?
43:10–48:19
8
What final piece of dating advice do each of the generational guests leave listeners with?
48:19–50:33