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Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting

2695: Time For Marriage? Ask These Three Questions First by Tonya Lester on Marital Advice and Commitment Decisions

16 Aug 2025

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Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2695: Tonya Lester challenges the traditional timeline of relationships by unpacking the emotional and psychological layers behind the question "Should we get married?" She offers a deeply reflective guide for couples to explore their inner motivations, values, and past wounds, helping them make a conscious and grounded decision about commitment. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.tonyalester.com/blog/should-we-get-married Quotes to ponder: "Marriage is not a prize for being in love; it is a particular structure that requires a particular set of traits and values." "If we are still in a dynamic where we are trying to prove we are 'enough' for the other person, then we may be trying to use marriage to validate ourselves." "If you are trying to earn worthiness or avoid abandonment through marriage, it will not work." Episode references: Getting the Love You Want: https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Love-You-Want-Anniversary/dp/0805087001 The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797 Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love: https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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