3126: Why Couples Shouldn't Do Couples Therapy (Says the Couples Therapist) by Dr. Kelly Flanagan on Conflict Repair

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Recorded01 Sep 2026

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Get the 200+ Page Optimal Living Daily Workbook (PDF) - Free. Want to turn today's episode into an actionable plan? Join the Optimal Living Weekly newsletter and I'll send you our 200-page digital workbook immediately. It's packed with the best takeaways from the show, formatted for easy reading and implementation at home. Get your free PDF workbook here: https://oldpodcast.eo.page/join Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com Episode 3126: Dr. Kelly Flanagan explains why so many couples arrive at marital therapy locked in the same fight every week, and why the real opponent is shame rather than the person across the room. He describes how a criticism squeezes an already saturated heart until shame leaks out as attack, and how naming that feeling out loud stops the cycle in a way no amount of arguing can. It is honest marriage advice about turning inward first so the relationship has room to change. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://drkellyflanagan.com/why-couples-shouldnt-do-couples-therapy-says-the-couples-therapist/ Quotes to ponder: "Our hearts are like a sponge for shame, and most of us are pretty saturated with it by the time we meet our lifelong companion." "You don't fight for your Saturday night by fighting with your spouse. You fight for your Saturday night by fighting with yourself." "Until we can be gentle with ourselves, we can't be gentle to anyone else." Optimal Relationships Daily is a daily relationship advice podcast where we narrate the best articles on healthy relationships, dating, marriage, and parenting, read to you by a professional narrator so you can strengthen your closest connections a little more every day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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