Pardon My Take
NFL Week 14, Fastest 2 Minutes, Vikings For Real, Bears Still Suck, Seahawks Surging And The College Football Playoff Has Been Announced
Mon, 9 Dec 2024
NFL Week 14, we start with fastest 2 minutes and then get into every game from Sunday (00:00:00-00:09:36) Vikings 42, Falcons 21 (00:09:36-00:20:29) Steelers 27, Browns 14 (00:20:29-00:26:08) Eagles 22, Panthers 16 (00:26:08-00:35:00) Bucs 28, Raiders 13 (00:35:00-00:43:25) Saints 14, Giants 11 (00:43:25- 00:49:23) Dolphins 32, Jets 26 (00:49:23-01:05:55) Jaguars 10, Titans 6 (01:05:55-01:10:59) Niners 38, Bears 13 (01:13:48-01:23:10) Seahawks 30, Cardinals 18 (01:23:10-01:26:50) Rams 44, Bills 42 (01:26:50-01:32:16) Chiefs 19, Chargers 17 (01:32:16-01:39:23) We finish with who's back of the week and talk College Football Bracket reveal (01:48:53-02:06:38).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
Chapter 1: What happened in the fastest two minutes of NFL Week 14?
Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take NFL Week 14, we've got a lot to discuss. There were some stinkers. There also was the Bills-Rams game, which was incredible. The Bears fucking suck.
The Steelers and Vikings, I'm ready to start putting a lot more respect on their name. We're also going to talk a little college football playoff. because it did just come out, so we'll maybe break down the bracket. I know we usually do Wednesdays, but I feel like we have to do it today. We're going to do Who's Back of the Week, fastest two minutes.
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Chapter 2: Are the Vikings for real this season?
Not gonna get him. Some spread.
We start in Minnesota where Sam, hey, Darnold, played like a real football head, or as we should call him, Mr. Wynn. The announcers started calling Darnold Tyreek Hill with how many times he looked to add a son after Jordan scored three times on Sundays.
Shirk Responsibility's cousins look like Mincy out there sharing two bad picks and refusing to go anywhere but south as it may be time Atlanta to take out their Phoenix. Vikings 42, Falcons 21.
We go to Nashville, Tennessee, where yesterday someone macked out my mural. That type of energy will make the Jags move to Europe. With no Ariana Blonde, Trevor Lawrence, the Jags were relying on their ground game, saying, take you next, Bigsby.
Chapter 3: What went wrong for the Bears against the Niners?
Tony Hinchcliffe Pollard yet again roasted a giant pile of garbage known as the Jaguars D, while kicker Nick Fulked around and had a triple-double, making both field goals. Doug Skeederson keeps edging, delaying the firing that will never come. Meanwhile, Brian Callahan job is struggling to maintain a firm grip, leaving many Titans fans wondering if they could just do a better job themselves.
Jaguars 10, Titans 6. The Jaguars? Huh? Huh? Winning streak and flyer?
Down to Tampa where patty cake, patty cake, baker's men, bake me a cade as fast as you can. Throw it and toss it and run it with Bucky, put it in the oven for Chay B and me. The Bucks seemed to be playing like there was bad blood against AIDS in O'Connell and were all smiles giving HIVs. I'm sorry, that was Roman numerals. High fives on the sidelines.
Desmond Ritter came on in relief, and the only thing Desmond does is rid of your team a chance of ever winning a football game again. Nice guy, though. Heard he's a really nice guy. Very nice guy. Very nice guy. Bucs 28, Raiders 13, and we're staying in the state of Florida over to Means.
In Miami, this just in, Tyreek Hill has another BM, not baby mama, the dump he just left on the Jets. The Dolphins took a big number two on the Jets, beating them in OT 32-26. Anders Carlson was a workaholic with four field goals and two extra points. Aaron Kenny Rogers didn't play like a chicken today and got no help from running back. Brandon, do the chickens have large islands?
Who looked anything but dynamite. They need a win. Stop doing this voice. They need a win next week to prevent being the Rizzler's height. 3-11. Dolphins 32, Jets 26.
Oh, the Rizzler. My favorite guy in the world. Okay, we head over to Max, Carolina and Philadelphia.
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Chapter 4: How did the Steelers continue their dominance over the Browns?
We head to Philly where Bryce Neil Young was saying, there's a lot of people saying we won't touch the spread. Don't feel like the Giants, but I am to them. So I try to forget it any way I can. Keep on rockin' in the green world. He found it. He found it. And rock they did for most of this game, largely in part to Jake Malasek Elliott, who had fans wondering, what is going on with NFL kickers?
Trailing by six, the Panthers had a chance to take the lead late in the fourth, but Xavier Goose-Eggette ended with a zero in the touchdown department after dropping the game-winning score. Eagles 22, Panthers 16.
We go down to Glendale, where the Cardinals dressed in all black and laid in wait for the Seattle CEO Hawks. But Kyler Murray misfired twice early, and Zach Chardonnay made them whine as he barreled in for a couple sips pointers. Michael Jackson, Smith, and Jigba was singing, Billy Gino's not my lover. He's just a guy who once got punched in the jaw. But he likes throwing me the ball.
Adding a score as the Seahawks escape like smooth criminals with a division win. Seahawks 30, Cardinals 18.
Staying out west to San Francisco where Clock Purdy looked like Big Ben letting the Bears know what time it was. saying, this is our game to lose, and all the Bears could do was watch. Clockbird, he also looked like Big Ben, stalling in the pocket until he got exactly what he wanted. George Lucas Kittle almost OB-1 this game solo, mauling all over soft Bears defense.
For those asking if the Niners are still good, yo, duh. While Caleb Williams couldn't compose a score, if you're asking what Brown can do for you, well, the answer is not win a football game as the Bears lose again. Niners, 38. Bears 13. For the game of the day, Henry Lockwood was on the scene.
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Chapter 5: What were the key moments in the Eagles vs. Panthers game?
Yes, in Los Angeles.
Kyron Sanat-Williams said, thank you, Bills, for the seven gifted points as he crossed over the goal line to get the scoring started. Josh Allen Ginsburg punched in a one-yarder and then howl. at the hostile Rams crowd. In the second quarter, the Bills dropped back to punt and it's blocked and scooped up by Hunter S. Thompson-Long, and he was gonzo into the end zone for another touchdown.
Pookie Hock Tua was pulling the rug from under the Bills' D all day to the tune of 162 yards and two scores. As the Bills tried to mount a comeback, return of the Mack Hollins caught a TD, as did Khalil Shakira's, whose hips did not lie. However, the Bills' defense did, and they fall in a shootout 44-42. Great job, Hank.
Was that a poetry reference, Henry? Multiple, boom. Wow. I didn't know you were that educated. I'm literate.
Standing on the corner, Jameis Winston, Cuyahoga, such a fine sight to see. You're not to Sean, thank God, Watson's not allowed to wave a towel terribly. Come on, Tony, could Darius blow me? The Steelers put some fries on your bologna.
Steelers 27, Browns 14. And that is the fastest two minutes for week 14 in the NFL. It's brought to you by our friends at Chevy. There's a reason we've never done a Mount Rushmore pickup trucks. And that's because for part of my take. There's only one pickup truck, the Chevy Silverado. Why is that? Silverado is a partner, a partner you can depend on.
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Discover a world of strength and capability all behind the wheel of our favorite truck, the Chevy Silverado. Okay, week 14 in the books, PFT. We had not the most exciting early slate of games, but it all made up for it with the Bills-Rams game in the afternoon. One of the best games of the year. But what I was going to say was we made it. All bye weeks are done. Yep. We finally did it.
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Chapter 6: Can the Dolphins make a playoff push?
They got pretty disrespectful.
Well, they scored so many times. They got deep. Jordan Addison scored three times. Justin Jefferson scored twice. I feel like both those guys, once you get your third touchdown, you're deep in your bag of celebrations. Yeah.
But I'm impressed that they had that many celebrations choreographed, ready to go.
Yeah, well, it was, I just think the Vikings are surging at the right time. This also was, I don't think there's bad blood with Vikings fans and Kirk Cousins, but it had to feel good knowing that Sam Darnold had his best game of his career in front of Kirk Cousins, who left the franchise last year, or this offseason. And Sam Darnold in his last four games is 11 touchdowns, zero interceptions.
Kirk Cousins is zero touchdowns. eight interceptions.
He looks like he went back into a pumpkin.
Not a lot of quarterbacks have gone four weeks with zero touchdowns. It's bad. And it wasn't all Kirk Cousins' fault because they were... Well, no. The Falcons' defense was just letting guys run wide open. Kirk Cousins didn't play well. That interception, that one-handed interception in the end zone by the Vikings was so sick.
That was a good pick. I think Kirk said after the game that it was... At one point, it was tied 21-21. And then I think it might have been...
I think that was the Ray McLeod.
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Chapter 7: What is the current state of the College Football Playoff?
Correct, correct. But if, like, it's not as important as the other three games going forward because it's an AFC game and the tiebreaker is...
Every game should be important.
Every game is important. This Panthers game was important. I said that this game was funky, and I thought it was going to be an NFL makes no sense game.
Yes. Basically, it was.
It was. I mean, Xavier Leguette catches that ball, although you were saying, we're fine, we're fine, we're fine.
Well, there was still 45 seconds and three timeouts. Jake Elliott. Jake Elliott, yeah.
So are you concerned at all, though, about A.J. Brown? Because that feels concerning.
But A.J. Brown does that shit every other week. You're not concerned? I guess, but not really because that's just kind of the way A.J. is. We've talked about that with good receivers is that you want a little bit of... Yeah, you want that. Because he didn't catch a lot of balls. I'm sure if he caught six balls and... Or if he called to the Devontae Smith touchdown, he doesn't say it.
Jalen Hurts had a couple weird plays. That one where he just slid for like a nine-yard loss when he could have thrown it away, that one was bizarre.
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