Pillow Talks
Episodes
Episode 145: What Your Partner Secretly Wishes You’d Stop Doing In The Bedroom
29 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever wondered what your partner REALLY thinks about your performance in the bedroom? Well, it turns out there are a few things they secr...
Episode 144: We’re In Couples Therapy
22 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Surprise! We’re in couples therapy. We sat down and recorded one of our most vulnerable episodes yet all about why we’re in therapy and how it’...
Episode 143: The Body Confidence Episode - How To Feel Good In Your Skin During Sex
15 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today, we’re tackling a huge issue that so many people can relate to… feeling uncomfortable in your own skin during sex. We’re diving into the s...
Episode 142: Are You Lazy In Bed? Here’s What Your Partner Says…
08 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today we’re asking a tough question… Are you lazy in bed? And an even harder one… Would your partner say you’re lazy during sex? In this ...
Episode 141: How To Get Your Partner To Be More Romantic
01 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
79% of our community members want their partners to be more romantic. Romance seems to come so easy at the beginning of a relationship, but feels so m...
Episode 140: What Your Sex Personality Type Says About You In The Bedroom
25 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You might already know that you’re a 3 on the Enneagram, a generator in human design, or an ENTJ in Myers–Briggs. But do you know your personality...
Episode 139: Xander’s Vasectomy Part 2: Answering Your Questions About Pain, Performance, And Masculinity
18 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Snip snap! We’re back with part 2 of Xander’s vasectomy journey. (Start with part 1 if you want to hear his story.) This time we’re answering al...
Episode 138: Your Funniest Foreplay Fails
11 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We asked you to share your funniest foreplay fails, and you REALLY delivered! Today we’re sharing the dangers of jalapeños, why you shouldn’t che...
Episode 137: Xander Got A Vasectomy!
04 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Xander got a vasectomy! By popular demand, we’re walking you through the entire process - how and why we decided to go this route, finding the ri...
Episode 136: The Top 10 Pillow Talks Podcast Moments of 2023
28 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
2023 has been one wild ride! This podcast - all 136 episodes so far - has been a major part of our year, so what better way to celebrate than counting...
Episode 135: Am I The Asshole? The Holiday Edition
21 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
The first time we did Am I The Asshole it was a major success, so we knew we had to bring it back for a part two! In this special holiday edition, we’...
Episode 134: Everything You’re Getting Wrong About Intercourse (And How To Get It Right)
14 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We all feel like we’re supposed to just be naturally good at intercourse, but there are so many dynamics that can trip us up! What positions are bes...
Episode 133: Dead Bedrooms Part 2: We Coach Another Couple Through Resuscitating Their Sex Life
07 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
“We’re just not having sex anymore...” If you’ve found yourself uttering (or even just thinking) this line, you’re not alone. So many c...
Episode 132: Why We Started Making Out Every Night
30 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This episode is all about the most viral piece of content we’ve ever made - why we make out every single night before bed. Our two-minute video has ...
Episode 131: How Honest Is Too Honest?
22 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
“What? I was just being honest!” This is one of the most common phrases that gets uttered during conflicts between couples. We’ve all been ...
Episode 130: The Bristle Reaction, Icky Initiation, And Bad Assumptions: 5 Surprising Lessons From Your Feedback About Our Book
16 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In February, we released our book, Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. It was an instant New York Times bestseller! ...
Episode 129: Do You Have Silent Sex? Here’s Why That’s A Problem
09 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Today we’re talking about something we’ve never heard talked about openly… silent sex. Did you know that more than 50% of people regularly ...
Episode 128: Sneaky Ways To Get Your Partner More Involved In Your Relationship
02 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Do you wish your partner was more invested in your relationship? Do you find yourself wishing they would plan more date nights, spend less time on the...
Episode 127: Ask Us Anything: Spilling Our Business Secrets
26 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This week we’re bringing back one of your favorite series - Ask Us Anything. This time we’re doing the sex therapy business secrets edition! ...
Episode 126: Queefing, And Farting, And Squirting, Oh My! Bodily Functions In The Bedroom
19 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Is it normal to notice a bad odor after intercourse? What about queefing? How the heck does everyone else manage clean-up after sex? In this epis...
Episode 125: Am I The Asshole?
12 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Today’s episode is inspired by the popular Reddit thread, Am I The Asshole? We’re giving you our hot takes on some of the trickiest situations sub...
Episode 124: Is Your Sex Life Too Boring?
05 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Did you know that 86% of people worry that their sex life is too boring? It’s so easy to get caught up in anxiety about your sex life. You can’...
Episode 123: A Parent’s Guide To Making Time For Sex And Intimacy
28 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Whenever we ask parents what gets in the way of intimacy after kids, the most frequent answer we hear is time. As a parent, everything becomes about t...
Episode 122: “Don’t Touch Me Like That”: Confronting Unwanted Touch In Your Relationship
21 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Does your partner ever touch you in ways, times, or places that you don't feel comfortable with? A staggering 78% of people have experienced unwanted ...
Episode 121: When She Wants It More: Navigating Mismatched Libidos When The Woman Has A Higher Drive
14 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Are you a woman who wants sex more than your male partner? All we see on TV, movies, and social media is men wanting it more, so if that’s not the c...
Episode 120: “Why Do Guys Do This?” - Xander Explains Male Behavior
07 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Today we’re putting Xander in the hot seat and making him answer all your burning questions about male behavior. Why do they hook boobs? Why are the...
Episode 119: Jealousy In Relationships: Why Do We Get Jealous, And What Do We Do About It?
31 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jealousy is one of the most difficult emotions to face, and it feels even trickier when it comes up in your romantic relationship. It’s such a commo...
Episode 118: The Foreplay Episode: The 5 Things We’re All Getting Wrong
24 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Foreplay? More like the BEST way! Today we’re talking about the part of sex that never gets the credit it deserves - foreplay! Foreplay is the ...
Episode 117: So You Think You Know Us? Answering Your Assumptions!
17 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What do you assume or secretly suspect about us? Or what have you simply been curious about? In this episode, we’re diving headfirst into the a...
Episode 116: What Do I Do When My Partner Is Always On Their Phone?
10 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever find yourself mid-sentence with your partner and realize that they’re not even remotely paying attention to you? No one wants to feel l...
Episode 115: Grief And Sex: Loving Each Other Through A Loss
03 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
How do you maintain intimacy while grieving? We’ve had many requests to create this podcast episode, and to be honest, we resisted because the topi...
Episode 114: Can We Come Back From This? Part 2: Even More Relationship Make Or Break Moments
27 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Has your partner ever done or said something painful, leaving you wondering, “Can we come back from this?” Sometimes you need an outside party to ...
Episode 113: Bump And Grind: Sex During Pregnancy
20 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Want to unlock the secrets to great pregnancy sex? We know, your body feels alien to you, your hormones are all over the place, and somehow all the th...
Episode 112: Creating A Shortcut To Intimacy With Compliments
13 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Compliments. They sound like such a small act but they can make such a huge difference in the intimacy of your relationship. But for most couples...
Episode 111: What To Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Talk About Sex
06 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Why is it so hard to talk to your partner about sex? You talk about everything else, but the minute it becomes about your sex life, they shut down. It...
Episode 110: Unzipped And Unfiltered: Your Funniest Sex Fails
29 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Want to hear some of the craziest things that have ever happened to our community in the middle of sex? We asked you guys to share your most hysterica...
Episode 109: This ONE Thing Is Secretly Affecting Your ENTIRE Relationship
22 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Are you frustrated by how sex gets initiated in your relationship? Does the way your partner initiates feel boring, frustrating, or annoying? Do you f...
Episode 108: “Help! I’ve Been Faking Orgasms So Long I Don’t Know How To Stop!”
15 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Real talk - are you faking orgasms? There are so many understandable reasons why you may have started faking. Maybe you were trying to protect your p...
Episode 107: Ask Each Other Anything: Celebrating Our Queer Community With A Q&A
08 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we’re dedicating an entire episode to our queer community! Inclusivity is one of our core company values, and while we try to make all of...
Episode 106: Exposing Our Biggest Relationship Frustrations With Enneagram Expert Tracy O’Malley
01 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In over 100 episodes of Pillow Talks, we’ve never had a guest. But we broke the mold to bring on Tracy O’Malley, and after hearing this episode, w...
Episode 105: “Is This Normal?” 2.0 — More Questions You Never Dared To Ask Out Loud
25 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Get ready for the highly anticipated sequel to one of our most popular episodes yet! Back in Episode 91 we asked the age-old question, “Is This Norm...
Episode 104: An Exclusive Sneak Peek: Chapter One Of Sex Talks
18 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Friends, followers, and first-time listeners, gather 'round for a podcast episode like no other! Get ready to dive into our New York Times instant bes...
Episode 103: What Do Women Really Think About…? (Masturbation, Butt Stuff, Penis Size, And More!)
11 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Our “What Do Men Really Think About” episodes were so popular that we knew we just had to do an episode about what women are really thinking! So w...
Episode 102: Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Intercourse Edition)
04 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
You wanna go another round? Because we DEFINITELY do! It’s time for part 2 of Smash Or Pass, our series where we try out the internet’s weirdest s...
Episode 101: Is Gaming Hurting Your Relationship? Part 1 Of The “I Love You But I Don’t Like You” Series
27 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever looked at your partner and thought to yourself, “I love you, but I don’t like you right now”? Don’t worry, it happens to the bes...
Episode 100: Our 100th Episode Extravaganza: The Ultimate Round of “Know Ya Boo”
20 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Can you believe this is our 100th episode??? We knew we had to do something super special to commemorate the occasion, so we decided to play “Know Y...
Episode 99: The Bristle Reaction: What It Is, How It Happens, And What You Can Do To Fix It
13 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Have you heard of The Bristle Reaction? We recently made a TikTok about this term that Vanessa created, and 8 million people watched! The Bristle Reac...
Episode 98: Dead Bedrooms: We Coach One Couple Through Resuscitating Their Sex Life
06 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It’s time to talk about Dead Bedrooms. Does your sex life feel like a ghost of what it used to be? Has it felt that way so long that you don’t kno...
Episode 97: Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Foreplay Edition)
30 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We’ve all seen the articles from cheesy women’s magazines (and TikTok)…“10 foolproof ways to drive your man wild in bed!” But so many of the...
Episode 96: Things That Go Bump (Or Bang) In the Night
23 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Do you and your partner go to bed at the same time? In the same bed? In the same ROOM? It’s easy to get stuck in the stereotypes of what a coup...
Episode 95: Mental Load Part 2: Conversations About Perfectionism, Gender Roles, And Finding Balance With Your Partner
16 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Mental Load sucks. But are you accidentally making it even harder? We originally talked about Mental Load way back in episode 4, and in today’s...
Episode 94: The “Start Here” Episode - Allow Us To Reintroduce Ourselves
09 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to Pillow Talks! Is this your first time listening to our podcast? Maybe you bought our book Sex Talks and you’re just starting to dig into ...
Episode 93: Would You Rather?
02 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ready for the most epic game of Would You Rather? We’ve done Would You Rather on Instagram a few times, and it was such a hit that we decided t...
Episode 92: The Brutally Honest Truth About Our New York Times Best Selling Book
23 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It’s official… Sex Talks is a New York Times INSTANT Bestseller! But to be totally up front with you, the process of getting here has been pr...
Episode 91: “Is This Normal?” 15 Questions You Never Dared To Ask Out Loud
16 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever had a question that you were too embarrassed to even Google? You know, the kinda stuff that you don’t even talk about with your best f...
Episode 90: Why Missionary Is (Secretly) Our Favorite Position
09 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Is it OK if you and your partner keep finding yourselves coming back to the missionary position during sex? Does that make your relationship - gasp! -...
Episode 89: How To Get The Intimacy You’ve Always Craved
02 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Do you want more intimacy in relationship? If your answer was, “Yes, but HOW?”, then you’re in the right place! We’ve been together for 15 yea...
Episode 88: How To Decide If You Should Have Kids Or Not. And Are We Still Child Free By Choice?
26 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
When we revealed in Episode 37 that we’re child free by choice, it became the most popular episode in Pillow Talks’ history, hands down. Talking a...
Episode 87: Sex Talks: Sharing All The Secrets Behind Writing Our First Book
19 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
If you’ve been following us for a bit, you probably know that we have a book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, ...
Episode 86: Ask Us Anything Part 4: This Time It’s Personal
12 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It’s time for another one of your favorite episodes - Ask Us Anything! This time, let’s skip the business questions and keep it personal. We ...
Episode 85: Make 2023 The Year You Finally Feel Sexy
05 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What makes a person sexy? We all want to be sexy, but most of us don’t feel that way very often (or at all). It can be hard to see yourself as sexy ...
Episode 84: Top 10 Podcast Moments of 2022
29 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What a year 2022 has been!!! In 52 episodes, we’ve gotten more vulnerable than we’ve ever dared, tackled the topics we never thought would see the...
Episode 83: How To Fight Fair In A Relationship: Breaking Down A Listener Argument
22 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Be honest - if you look back at your last fight with your partner, are you happy with how it went? Was there anything you wish that you had said diffe...
Episode 82: The 15 Lessons That Keep Us Saying “I Do” After 15 Years
15 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
On December 15th, 2007, a tired girl got dragged to a Christmas party and met a DJ with a heart of gold, and the rest is history. Here we are 15 ...
Episode 81: Ho Ho Help! How To Survive Holiday Stress
08 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It’s (supposed to be) the most wonderful time of the year! The time we get together with our loved ones and celebrate each other with presents, food...
Episode 80: Be A Man And Talk About Your Feelings
01 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wondered why the man in your life is so emotionally reserved? Ever been frustrated by how unwilling he seems to be to talk about his feelings? ...
Episode 79: Sex Confessions: The Good, The Bad, And The WTF
23 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Need a good laugh today? Everyone knows how stressful the holiday season can be, so if you need to lighten the mood or just chase away the cold weathe...
Episode 78: Initiation: What You And Your Partner Are Doing Wrong - And How To Get It Right
17 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Initiation is SUPPOSED to feel sexy and enticing. When we see it on TV, it always looks so easy. One partner looks at the other from across the room, ...
Episode 77: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Orgasms
10 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
There are few things in life we’re more passionate about than orgasms! We want you to understand them, have them, give them, and enjoy them! With so...
Episode 76: How Much Do You Really Want It? The Sex Drive Episode
03 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you want a higher sex drive? Bet you said, “yes!” without thinking twice. 74% of our Instagram audience did. Most of us feel self-conscious abo...
Episode 75: Am I Being Unreasonable?
27 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You love your partner, for better or worse, but there’s just that THING that gets under your skin. Maybe it’s something they say all the time...
Episode 74: Are We…Growing Apart?
20 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You come home after a long day, you see your partner, but you don’t say anything more than “hi” to each other. Something hilarious happened at l...
Episode 73: Do You Ever “Owe” Sex To Your Partner?
13 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever had your partner initiate sex and thought to yourself, “I should probably just do it because I’ve said ‘no’ so much”? Or has y...
Episode 72: The Lowdown On Painful Sex
06 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever been having intercourse and thought to yourself, “Oh, this hurts, and not in a good way…”? Research shows that a whopping 1 i...
Episode 71: Ask Us Anything Part 3: Extra Spicy Edition
29 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You saw the question box. You dug deep and swung for the fences. Now buckle up, because it is our turn at bat and we are gonna get SPICY in this episo...
Episode 70: How To Keep Stress Low And Pleasure High When You’re Trying To Conceive
22 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Most couples believe that trying to get pregnant will be one of the sexiest, most intimate periods of their relationship. But if you don’t get pregn...
Episode 69: What Do Men REALLY Think About… Part Two! (Lingerie, Boobs, Money, Queefing, and More!)
15 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Xander is back in the hot seat today answering the tough questions... What do guys REALLY think about lingerie? Can they handle a woman who makes more...
Episode 68: The Ultimate Butt Stuff Episode
09 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
No, you’re not having deja vu… Butt Stuff is back! We originally released a Butt Stuff episode almost a year ago, and it has consistently bee...
Episode 67: Hot Takes: How We REALLY Feel About Your Most Requested Topics
01 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Definition of hot take: a quickly produced, strongly worded, and often deliberately provocative or sensational opinion or reaction. You guys are alwa...
Episode 66: The True Story Of How We Built A Sex Therapy Business
25 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You’ve asked us over email, Instagram, YouTube, everything short of a carrier pigeon… How the heck did we get into the sex therapy business? And d...
Episode 65: How To Overcome Sexual Shame With Our 7-Step Process
18 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Let’s talk about the thing that keeps you up at night. The thing that you don’t bring up over drinks with friends. The thing that you don’t even...
Episode 64: Are You Roommates or Romantic Partners?
11 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Are you worried you’ve lost the spark in your relationship? We asked our Instagram audience, and the numbers were shocking! A whopping 91% said thei...
Episode 63: Does Your Partner Care Enough About YOUR Pleasure?
04 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever find yourself feeling kinda… disappointed after intercourse with your partner? Or worse, faking it just to “get it over with”? ...
Episode 62: The Truth About Money and Relationships
28 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Are you sick of fighting about money in your relationship? Maybe you’ve even thought you and your partner are incompatible because of how differentl...
Episode 61: Putting The O Back In Mom: Reigniting Your Sex Life After Kids
21 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Are you struggling to have a great sex life now that you’re a mom? As women, we wear so many hats and have so many identities. We’re wives, g...
Episode 60: Help! My Partner Hates Self-Improvement!
14 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You read all the books, listen to all the podcast episodes, and do all the meditations and affirmations. But your partner won’t even read a dang Ins...
Episode 59: Roleplaying 101: Ditch The Awkwardness And Find Your Confidence
07 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In today’s episode we’re diving into something that 74% of our audience have never done - roleplay! Most people think that roleplaying feels ...
Episode 58: The Sex Act You Should Be Doing - But Probably Aren’t
30 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Today’s episode is about one of the most underrated sex acts that you’re probably not doing… mutual masturbation! Even if your face is alre...
Episode 57: Is This Your Shit Or Mine?
23 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
“Should I have to stop hanging out with my ex because my girlfriend said so?” “Is it my husband’s job to say something to my rude in-laws...
Episode 56: What Do Men REALLY Think About… ? (Vulvas, Emotional Intimacy, And More!)
16 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Every day we get DMs from women asking Xander what men REALLY think about everything from pubic hair to emotional intimacy. We decided we had to ...
Episode 55: The 69 Episode
09 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Love it or hate it, 69 is one of the most infamous sex acts. We just had to give it it’s own episode, especially since today is also 6/9. We’...
Episode 54: Ask Us Anything Part 2: MORE Of Your Burning Questions, Answered
02 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We were WRONG. Well, Vanessa was. She thought there was no way our last Ask Us Anything episode would be popular, but it ended up being one of ou...
Episode 53: How To Spice It Up In the Bedroom: Exploring Kink For Beginners
26 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever read a romance novel or watched a sex scene and felt turned on by reading or seeing something kinda kinky that you’ve never even thoug...
Episode 52: How To Get Your Man To Take Control In The Bedroom
19 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You’re innocently folding the laundry, just minding your own business, when your partner comes up behind you, brushes your hair away from your ear a...
Episode 51: The Art of Flirting (In a Long Term Relationship)
12 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
“Why should I have to flirt with my partner? We’ve been together forever!” A lot of us in long-term relationships feel hesitant to flirt wi...
Episode 50: I Don’t Know How To Say This, But...
05 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You know that thing you really want to tell your partner but you just... don’t know how? Maybe you’re nervous, you really don’t want to hur...
Episode 49: The Truth About Squirting (And Why Men Are Obsessed With It)
28 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Squirting: is it real? Where does it come from? IS IT PEE?! In this episode, we are doing a deep dive on the mystery of squirting: specifically w...
Episode 48: How To Get Out Of (And Prevent) Dry Spells
21 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Can’t remember the last time you had sex? Or maybe you remember the exact day and it’s been... too long. It’s time to talk about one o...
Episode 47: What Penis Performance Problems REALLY Mean
14 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You’re having a steamy makeout session with your partner, things are getting hot and heavy and leading to sex, but your partner just can’t get or ...
Episode 46: The Hygiene Episode: What To Do If Your Partner Isn’t Taking Care Of Themselves
07 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you’re like many people, hygiene seems pretty basic. Take a shower, brush your teeth, wear deodorant, what’s so hard about that? So you ma...