Pillow Talks
Episodes
Episode 45: Busting – And Confirming! – The Wildest Sex Myths
31 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Is squirting really just pee? Can pineapple make your vulva taste and smell sweet? What the heck is the deal with belly button sex?? We turned to...
Episode 44: How To Get Your Partner To Open Up
24 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you find yourself wishing your partner would share more about their emotions, or at least just more details about how their day went? If your ...
Episode 43: How To STOP Getting Distracted During Sex!
17 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever been in the middle of some HOT sex and all of a sudden you start thinking about something completely unrelated? Maybe you need to get a ...
Episode 42: Are You Sexually Compatible?
10 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
“Are we sexually compatible?” This haunting question comes up in the majority of relationships at some point. So what does it actually mean when i...
Episode 41: The Ask Us Anything Episode: All Your Burning Questions, Answered!
03 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
So how DID Xander propose? How often do we really have sex? You’re about to find out in this “ask us anything” style episode, where we answer yo...
Episode 40: When Your Partner Wants Sex But You Don’t
24 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What do you do when your partner initiates sex, but you’re not in the mood? This can be one of the trickiest moments to navigate in a relations...
Episode 39: If You Had To Ask, Does It Even Count?
17 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You wish your partner would do something thoughtful for you, and you definitely DON’T want to have to ask them to do it — because if you did, it w...
Episode 38: You Want Connection, Your Partner Wants Sex. Who Comes First?
10 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
There are two types of people: those who need to feel connected before having sex, and those that need to have sex in order to feel connected. In a cr...
Episode 37: The Truth About Why We’re Child-Free
03 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
One of the most frequent questions we get is, “Do you have kids?” Followed closely by “why don’t you have any?” While it hasn’t always bee...
Episode 36: Can We Come Back From This?
27 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What do you do when your partner says something hurtful that you just can’t shake, even months or years later? Is it something you can grow and heal...
Episode 35: Fine, I’ll Just Do It Myself: The Danger of Weaponized Incompetence
20 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Has your partner ever done a task so poorly or asked you so many questions that you finally just said “fine, I’ll do it myself!”? This is called...
Episode 34: I Want You To Want Me
13 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We all want to feel desired, but so often in relationships we get into a place where it feels like one partner wants the other more. If you’re ...
Episode 33: The Episode We Almost Didn’t Release
06 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Full transparency: we didn’t know if we were going to release this episode. We’re talking about everything from how we processed the chaos that is...
Episode 32: 5 Ways To Make 2022 Your Most Intimate AND Nasty Year Ever
30 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
This episode is all about making 2022 the best year of your relationship yet! Get our five favorite sustainable and actionable tips for making your re...
Episode 31: Should We Open Our Relationship?
23 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever thought about opening up your relationship? Have WE ever thought about opening up our relationship? Some see it as a necessity to fully ...
Episode 30: Sex With Other People...Around
16 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Having sex when there are guests around (or when you are a guest in someone's home) can be a major source of anxiety — but sometimes you just HAVE t...
Episode 29: Anxious? Avoidant? What Your Attachment Style Says About You (And Your Relationship)
09 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Attachment Style Theory looks at the ways we respond to other people based on the way we responded to our earliest relationships: our relationships wi...
Episode 28: So Your Partner Told You Their Fantasy... And You're Not Into It
02 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you have a fantasy you've always wanted to explore? Maybe your partner does as well, but it doesn't 'match up' with yours. In this episode we're di...
Episode 27: Your In-Law Holiday Survival Guide
24 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In-laws are tricky. Holidays are tricky. Put them together and you've got some truly stressful situations. In this episode we are once again going 'ad...
Episode 26: Are You Good In Bed?
18 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We turned to our Instagram audience @vanessamarintherapy to ask them "what makes someone good in bed?" and they DELIVERED. They also opened up on tell...
Episode 25: Are You Too Needy?
11 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When you hear the word 'needy', it's probably the last thing you would ever want to be described as; being needy is so steeped in shame! Today we're g...
Episode 23: Butt Stuff!
28 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What makes anal play so great anyway and why are people so intimidated by it? Well, we're answering those questions and talking about how to break thr...
Episode 22: How To Not Pass Sexual Shame On To Your Kids
21 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we're talking about how to cut through the shame, awkwardness and embarrassment that we've been taught to have when talking about sex...
Episode 21: Cowgirls And Doggies And [Redacted], Oh My! Your Guide To Trying New Sex Positions
14 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Trying new sex positions is a really fun way to spice up your sex life, but it can feel super intimidating to even get started when you're already in ...
Episode 20: Should We Break Up?
07 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How do you know if or when to end a relationship? To see if we could help answer that question, we reached out to our Instagram community for story s...
Episode 19: How To Have Amazing Sex With A Brand New Partner
30 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Awkward, fun, nerve-wracking, and exciting: all words that our community used to describe first-time sex with a new partner. There can be a lot of hig...
Episode 18: How To Get That New Relationship Energy Back
23 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We all want to feel wanted. That's why we're talking about something that can totally change your relationship for the better, and it's something you...
Episode 17: How To Allow Yourself To Receive In The Bedroom
16 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In order to enjoy sex, we have to receive. Whether it's time, attention, love, or energy, there are so many aspects of great sex are tied into receivi...
Episode 16: No, Your Partner Didn't Make You Feel That Way - Your Feelings Are Your Responsibility
09 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Feelings. Is there anything that makes you feel more uncomfortable? It's hard enough to process your own feelings, so when your partner does something...
Episode 15: The Secret To Feeling More Pleasure In The Bedroom
02 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever found yourself thinking, "Sex just feels so blah. I don't get what the fuss is all about"? This is one of the most common complaints we ...
Episode 14: How To Navigate Different Political, Social, And Religious Beliefs In Dating And Relationships
26 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Politics, religion and social issues are already such divisive topics, so what happens when you disagree about them in a relationship? Should dif...
Episode 13: How To Handle Rejection When Your Partner Says No To Sex
19 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Anytime you ask for something you want, it’s a vulnerable experience. You're putting yourself out there, and in the position to be turned down. Whic...
Episode 12: How To Let Your Partner Love Your Body - Even If You Don't
12 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Body confidence is something that affects everyone, whether it's an occasional thing or a daily struggle. Usually we think of it as a personal issue -...
Episode 11: How Vanessa Turned Her Orgasm Struggles Into A Sex Therapy Business!
05 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When you hear the words “Sex Therapist”, you probably think of someone who knows exactly what they want and how to get it in the bedroom, right? ...
Episode 10: Communication Breakdowns: We Coach Real Couples Through Their Worst Fights So You Can Get Better At Yours
29 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Good communication is really hard. We'll be the first to admit that in the heat of the moment it can be really tough to validate your partner's ex...
Episode 9: How Often Is Everyone REALLY Having Sex? And What's Healthy For Your Relationship?
22 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Everyone wants to know what the magic amount of sex is to keep their relationship healthy. So many of us think that if we hit a certain quota, it mean...
Episode 8: Has Purity Culture Harmed Your Sex Life? How To Overcome Religious Shame
15 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Did you grow up in Purity Culture? Purity Culture teaches that it's important to wait until marriage to have sex, because people who wait are mor...
Episode 7: What Makes a Great Kiss? And What to Do if You Don’t Like the Way Your Partner Kisses
08 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When was the last time you had a truly amazing kiss? The sad reality is that most couples just don't really kiss anymore! A lot of us, if we're real...
Episode 6: This Is Why Your partner Won't Work On Your Relationship With You - And How To Finally Get Them To!
01 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you think that relationships should be effortless? Or that having to work on your relationship means there's something wrong? Or does your par...
Episode 5: How to “Let Go” During Sex
24 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What’s keeping you from letting go in the bedroom? People we polled said that body image, kids, and to-do lists all contributed to having a dif...
Episode 4: Mental Load: What It Is and How to Stop It from Destroying Your Relationship
17 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you secretly keep score of who does what in your relationship? Do you feel like your partner gets to be carefree and happy while you’re st...
Episode 3: Should Sex Happen Naturally?
10 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Should sex happen naturally? This is one of the most common questions we get asked, and it can cause some serious tension in relationships. You may w...
Episode 2: Can You Actually Solve Problems In Your Relationship?
10 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Has this phrase ever been uttered in your home: “We’ve talked about this a million times before”? So many of the arguments we get into with...
Episode 1: The Secret To Hot Sex? Talking About It!
10 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How comfortable are you talking about sex with your partner? If you’re like most people, your face is already bright red! You need to be able to t...
Welcome to the Pillow Talks Podcast with Vanessa + Xander
25 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together th...