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Chapter 1: What makes being funny a unique expectation for comedians?
I feel like you became Catholic about five seconds before it became cool. Do you think I made it cool? Maybe it was you. It must be weird to be expected to be funny.
Yeah. You show up at a place and they're like, we're so stoked you're here. This is going to be our funniest episode of all time. Like, I'm not doing bits, dude. I'm just here to be me. Tell me about why someone would cut their nose off for magic and what the point is there. It's about sacrifice. It's a mockery of the sacrifice to God.
Black magic, I'm like, oh, it's all, you're just doing reverse Catholicism. You guys are obsessed with us. After shows, I started to have people confront me and be like, I want my money back. No, you haven't. Yes. Yes.
Chapter 2: How does sacrifice play a role in magic?
Tell me how that conversation goes. The obsession with balance in marriage is gone. You're not two people. You're one person. There's nothing balanced about this. I want to get to the point where I wake up and I want to interpret reality based on what my wife and kids need. But I know that if I did do that, I could actually finally be happy. I know.
I know. So what's the difference between the sugar-free, yeah, this is zero sugar, but why do you care? I mean, if you're drinking a bed roll. A bed roll.
If you drink two bed rolls a day, that adds up quick. With sugar. That could be, that's like a meal.
But what about the, I mean, the caffeine alone will kill you, won't it? Yeah. Let's see.
I'm here for a good time, not a long time, sir.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I can't tell the sugar in that. It's very sweet.
It's very strong. I haven't had a Red Bull in a minute. Or a bedroll. A bedroll. A bedroll.
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Chapter 3: What experiences led to Shayne's conversion to Catholicism?
Yeah, this is good. Dude, we're going to get fired up about halfway through the podcast. We're going to take our shirts off. Stick around. It's going to be great. You're just going to have your jacket tied to your forehead. We're sweating.
This is good. Oh, man. Thanks for coming on again. It's always nice to talk to people I want to talk to. I know it, right? Yeah. Unlike that other guy. Everyone who's watching the show is like, hey, I was on his show.
I know. This is the thing where you go, you always say like something professionally nice about someone, and then you think to yourself, what if the other people I'm professional with? But then you go, if they're being insecure, then they know it's them. That's on them. That's on them.
I'll be honest, though. People don't believe me when I tell them this, but I just interview who I want to talk to. Yeah. And that's, it really works for me because I don't have a poker face. So if I don't want to talk to you, I don't know how to pretend.
I think I've, well, no, I know I've seen you talk to people you don't want to talk to. I don't think I've ever watched. On a show or in person? In person. I've seen you in person talk to quite a few people where you're like, mm-hmm. And you're very gracious and kind. Oh, that's good. But I see myself in you, which is why. Really?
I'm watching you absorb the encounter, and maybe it's a little awkward or inappropriate or strange, and you're so gracious, but I can feel you kind of shifting gears. Do you know what I mean? And do you watch me, and you look at me and go, am I like that? Yes. Yes. That's exactly what I do. I look at you and I go, hmm, similar kind of vibes here. Don't do that. Yeah, no. Look how bad it looks.
Don't do anything. He says, oh, he's being so Australian right now.
I got to... Yeah. And you said you're moving into a house and the two things you care about are a garage and a study.
Yes, sir. Those are the only two things. We're moving. I told my wife, do anything you want. The yard, the home, the neighborhood, all of it, you can just be in charge of. I don't care. The things that are most important to me are, the most important thing is that I'm out in the country, which is a given, right? We're in Utah, we're on the middle of nowhere.
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Chapter 4: How do personal experiences shape views on marriage?
Yeah.
That's really helpful to say that. If you were, if you, if you had a beautiful cathedral with hand paintings like me, you know, but like, no, actually I've encountered the Lord on a run and began to weep uncontrollably and gross and had grown spiritually random, you know? So like, I don't, you know, they're totally and completely capable. Yeah.
I think a good strategy for Catholics at this point in history is to say to our Protestant friends or, you know, is to say, yes, and there's more. So we're with you 100%. And we can even learn from you in this regard. What you're saying, beautiful. There's more here as opposed to making fun of people as much as the internet wants us to do that.
Yeah. I have an ecumenical heart. And sometimes I find that Catholics on the internet are like, when you're being too nice or whatever.
Chapter 5: What role does humor play in personal and public life?
And I'm like, no, I'm not actually. Don't they call it the cage stage?
Have you heard that? The cage stage of a conversion? I don't even know what that means. The cage stage. Honestly, I wish I had my phone. I would look up what cage stage means. Just imagining Bonesaw from the Spider-Man movie. Here's the point.
I got you in here for three minutes, brother, in the cage.
What I'm talking about, though, I guess, is just like the... off the charts levels of enthusiasm that one experiences after converting. And they get sarcastic and angry and like belligerent. And then that all kind of sometimes calms down.
Chapter 6: How can a watch symbolize personal history and values?
I've had people on my show who've reached out to me and went, dude, I wish I could come on your show now instead of a year or two ago. It would have been so different. He's like, I just came in.
I was... Yeah. That's good though. I think it's good. It's... It's so funny. Now I'm like thinking back, like, did I do that? I know for sure I felt it. When you're first converting, it's like crazy.
Yeah, but I'm going to say something that might sound strange because obviously you're a very manly guy, but you also have a beautiful, sensitive heart. Like you're open to other people and their pain and their experiences. And that's one of the most attractive things about you. And it's probably why you're so good as a standup.
So I don't think you would naturally be a sort of condescending triumphalist
No, I can be that I can be so mean that I'm like very capable I know unfortunately, I'm mean to my wife sometimes Which is the person you would be mean to because you live together and you're married Yeah, but I've met your wife and she's super sweet I once had a my friend father Jason.
I was like upset with Cameron my wife about something He's like, okay Well, you better go in there and be kind to her because she's amazing and if she tells me you're not I'm gonna kick Your ass that's so good. That's the kind of friend you want
That's the kind of friend you want. That's so good. I know I had a priest friend of mine. I did. I made confession with him and which is always awkward. Do you confess? Are your confessors your friends?
Sometimes I feel like I've committed a grave sin and I'll go to whoever will take me. And so sometimes, yeah, that does involve.
Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah. And he told me, he told me to shut the F up and in the middle of it. And I don't know that he knew it was me necessarily. Cause I was just in the thing and he was like, listen to me. I can tell. And he, he said exactly what I needed to. It was so good. But he was like, it's your job to protect your wife and be there for her. And like really fired me up.
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Chapter 7: What humorous mishaps does Shayne share from his comedy career?
And as I'm on rule number three, I realize I don't remember number five. So instead of going, and number five, I just say the third rule, move on to the fourth, and finally, and I say it, right? Yeah. I'm like, all right, well, that's that. Let's just end with a prayer. What's the fifth one? Sorry, what was that? What was the fifth one? Now, what I should have done is- I misspoke.
What I should have done is just been like- I forget. That would have been less awkward than what I did. What did you do? What I did was walked off the stage to my bag, pulled out my computer that had my talk on it, brought it over, opened it, that was what this was, opened it up, realized my computer wasn't on. So I'm like, hold on.
Hey, can we get the lights down for a second?
And the fifth one was so disappointing.
Okay, so those, I don't even remember.
You don't remember it now? It was like, don't ask directions. That's a rule every man must break. We hear don't ask directions, but like in the spiritual life, you should some frigging thing like that.
Not the point. The point was it was really embarrassing. That's so funny to get your computer and be like, even this isn't working.
Oh my gosh. So what was, what are some moments you may have had?
Oh, I've had some really bad ones. I mean, bombs that are like terrible, terrible. Once I went, I did a show and I was told not to swear. And I said the, I opened, I was the host and without realizing it at a corporate show, I had said the F word like three times within eight minutes of being on stage. And the guy was lighting me like over and over again from the side. Yeah.
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Chapter 8: How does Shayne reflect on the challenges of performing during COVID?
Wow. How much would it cost? Let's say you were here tonight and Zany's was open. Mm-hmm. Just for fun. How much would I have to pay you for you to go up tonight and intentionally bomb without it being clear that you're intentionally bombing? No one's ever asked that question.
No one's ever asked that. So when you said intentionally bomb, I was like, that's funny. I'll do it for free. But no one can know. Now I'm like, no amount of money, maybe. No amount of money. Because that's like selling my dignity. I see. But to bomb and people know that I know I'm bombing, I'll do that. That's funny because it'll be funny to me.
I've gone out and bombed on purpose because I didn't like an audience. Okay. I've been mad at an audience before. I was doing like an outdoor show at like this festival in Utah and the audience was like so terrible to the comic before me and people were like heckling, but not even in like clever ways. Just like, why would you say that? Like that kind of thing, you know?
And I went up and was just like, you guys think that's good? What about this? And I was like reading comments off of a YouTube video and like disrespecting, like I don't respect your time or your energy. And I was like, there were like people in this, we were like in a tent. and like a festival and you would have to get up and walk to the back of the tent to leave.
And I was like, you can't escape easily. I'm going to see you if you stand up to leave. Like I was just like being insane at the audience, like totally getting up. But it was actually kind of working. Like the more confrontational I was, people thought it was kind of funny.
You remember the famous incident of Bill Burr? Is it Bill Burr back when he was funny? Is that his name? Bill Burr? Bill Burr. Yeah. Yeah. Bill Burr was funny once. Yeah.
When he got up and abused an audience. Oh, he's famous for doing that.
He was very.
Bernie Mac has the most famous one of all time at the Apollo Theater. I don't know who that is. The Apollo Theater is a very famous place where comedians would get Sandman, a guy with a Crozius or like a cane that comes out and like pulls you off stage. That Looney Tunes meme. Okay. That's from the Apollo Theater where they have like a cane and they yank you off stage. If you're not good.
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