Chapter 1: What are the Premier League predictions for Game Week 37?
Welcome back to The Greatest Show on Earth! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. For the final time of the season. And now the end is near. And so I face. the final curtain my friend I'll say it clear I'll state my case of which I'm certain I've lived a life that's full I've travelled it and every Highway And more Much more Than this We did it And
I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do. And I saw it through without exemption. I planned. Each shoddy course. Each careful step. Along the byway. And more. Much more than this. We did it. Leave the Premier League, man! That was so horny! There's a fucking bomb! They're fucking coming! Fucking hell! Stop!
It just felt right. It just felt right to do it. Right, before we get into the... Right, before... Keep it in. Keep it in. Right, before we get into the review, make sure you download that board. You are my candy girl. I feel like... Do you know how this show started? Is you trying to get on Broadway? Or that you're acting? I feel like I'm going to get on Pop Idol.
Anyway, make sure you download Double. Use code PITCHSIDE. Use code PITCHSIDE. You bet £10, you're going to get £10 free. I said £10, absolutely free. Free. It's all free on Double HQ. Shut the fuck up. Can I say something? Shush. Can I say something? No, let me get through this, please. I got to get through this. I got to get through this. Right. Download Dabble, guys. I've told you.
Use code PITCHSIDE. And if you don't, I will find you, Graham, from Middlesbrough. I know Southampton have been expelled and you're back in, but I will find you, Hobbit. Stop.
Graham's going to get a C and 2 from the governor.
He called me the governor. But look, no matter what you want to bet on, racing, darts, football, get on dabble, use code PITCHSIDE, £10 bet, £10 in free bets. Do it now. Otherwise, I'll find you. 18 plus TNCs do apply. Please gamble responsibly. Visit gambleaway.org. Let's review the last... Game week! Did I say something? Right, going into the final match week of week 36, it was seven all.
So how did it end up, William? So, Lewis predicted 4-0 City. We should see before we go on. Tom predicted... Yes! That makes it 19-17 to me. Going into the last week, you can't win.
It's double points.
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Chapter 2: How did the previous matches impact current standings?
He won't do it again, of course. It's great to be on the Prediction Show finally. I'm here, I'm here. It's him.
You fucking prick. Fuck you. I'm fucking kill you. You've done so much to me. He's got a banana in him.
What the hell's in it? No, no, no, it's only fair you have a turn. Shalom. Let me close. Right, game week 37, everybody! Everybody! I'll chat you between. I'll chat you between if I had to call the police. Right, first game of the weekend was Villa 4, Liverpool 2. You went Villa 2-1. I went for an away win. That's 1-0 to Lewis. Moving on to Man Utd Forest. I went for 2-0. You went for 1-1.
What? What? The fuck have you done here? Will, Will, honestly. The result was 3-2, which makes it 1-1. I swear to God, if you don't just fucking do your job! Which makes it 1-1, although Brentford Palace was 2-2. I went for a home win, you called 2-2, which makes it 4-1 to you, Mr Bowden. Everton, Sunderland, I went for 1-1. Lewis went for 2-0, Golden Resort to Everton.
Everton lost to Sunderland 3-1, so that stays 4-1. Leeds 1, Brighton 0, we both got that wrong, it stays 4-1. Wolves drew with Fulham 1-1, we both got that wrong, I, Golden Resort, it's Fulham. You fucking useless cottagers. Guilty. And sexy. And then Newcastle beat West Ham 3-1. We both got that right, but not the correct scores. That's 5-2 to Lewis going into Arsenal.
Arsenal, I went for 3-0, you went for 2-1. That makes it 6-3 to Lewis. Moving into Man City against Bournemouth. We don't know the result of this because it's currently happening right now. It's 7-2. So basically, tune in for next week when you find out who wins. Before we get into Game Week 38, Lewis is going to light a spliff and dance with the gal there. No, no, no. We talked about this.
The man there? The man there, yeah. I switched it up.
Wait, wait, wait.
We're there.
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Chapter 3: What predictions were made for the final week of the Premier League?
Why are you still wearing that? The jeans. The jeans. To be fair, they are the type of jeans I used to wear back in the day. What? Right. Forrest Bournemouth, what do you reckon, buddy? Old buddy, old pal? I'm the king of the swingers, yeah, the jungle VIP. I've reached the top and I got his hot ass, what's bothering me? I'm a man, man. I should have learned the lyrics, I apologize.
Right, what's the score? Oh my God, it's the- Hey! I'm a female police officer. Since the start of March- Stop!
I'm going to say 2-1 Bournemouth.
I'm going to go Patricia. Deuces. Best friend in the whole wide world. Co-host. He's talking to me. For one last time, shall we? I think we should. Shall we do it? I think you're doing great. I'm doing great. You're going to do it. You're going to do it. I'm doing great. I think for the love affair we've had for the Everton boys, the toffees this season, I feel like they deserve one last one.
Do you reckon? Is that David Moyes?
Oh, Everton PR team. Yeah, all on board. Yeah. No, fuck off. Yeah, chill.
They're in. It's good news for the Blues. And there's no more time to lose. Because we're hot. On the trail. And there's no way we're going to fail. So get your coat on. Get moving. Because we don't know the meaning of losing. So come on, come on.
Get down to Goodison Park. Woo!
Woo!
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Chapter 4: How does the guest feel about their team's performance this season?
What happened in 1966? The Battle of Hastings, lad. What happened in 1966? 0800 00 1066. Can I introduce you, please, to a block of cheddar cheese?
Rip one, pour one, rock one, rock one. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Kick it.
Ven-a-loo, ven-a-loo, ven-a-loo, ven-a-loo-la-la. Ven-a-loo, ven-a-loo, ven-a-loo, ven-a-loo-la. I love that song.
My favourite bit is seeing England at the end. That's my favourite bit. My second favourite bit is the Vindaloo. But my favourite bit is the England. But I do love seeing cheddar cheese.
But the second favourite is Vindaloo. First favourite, England. Yeah, we heard, mate. The third favourite is cheddar cheese. And the favourite's England, as always. Right, so Chelsea take on Sunderland. It's me to go first, I believe. Sunderland 2, Chelsea 0. What about you, chimp? What are you saying, magic bongle? 2-2. You're going for a Patricia in the end. 2-2 to Chelsea.
2-2 to Chelsea. 2-1 Chelsea. You're going for... 2-1 Chelsea. You should wear a 2-2. Lock it in. We haven't got a 2-2.
Fucking next up is you fucking useless.
I'm a fucking.
You fucking useless.
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