The laws of the office revisited

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Planet Money 29 min 9 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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What are the famous laws of the office mentioned in this episode?

Kenny Malone 0:00
Sarah. Sarah Gonzalez. My longest colleague. Do you remember a long time ago, an episode that you and I did together, where I confessed to a minor... A crime. You confessed to a crime. I would say malfeasance. I confessed to some malfeasance. Whatever.
Sarah Gonzalez 0:18
You broke a rule.
Kenny Malone 0:18
I definitely broke a rule.
Sarah Gonzalez 0:20
Slash law.
Kenny Malone 0:21
You know, potato, potato. I knew exactly where you were going. Do you remember that episode?
Sarah Gonzalez 0:26
Of course. You were like... Not scanning groceries?
Kenny Malone 0:30
Well, we don't have to get into the specifics because we're about to run the episode that that is about, okay?
Sarah Gonzalez 0:35
Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember. It's like the one and only time Kenny broke a rule, I think.
Kenny Malone 0:40
Certainly the only one I've confessed to on tape. And then, do you remember what that episode was about overall?
Sarah Gonzalez 0:45
No. What is it?
Kenny Malone 0:46
Well, so the episode was about my crime, I contend and will contend in this episode we're about to run, was about incentives and incentives going rogue.
Sarah Gonzalez 0:56
Perverse incentives.
Kenny Malone 0:57
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this episode was a bunch of those. And it was from a long time ago. But may I share the very exciting news? All right, ready? I'm going to show you something because this relates to the new Planet Money book. Are you ready?

How does Parkinson's Law explain the length of meetings?

Kenny Malone 1:11
Look at this.
Sarah Gonzalez 1:13
Oh, the Laws of the Office episode.
Kenny Malone 1:16
This is a poster, like an industrial safety poster that you would see next to a water cooler.
Sarah Gonzalez 1:22
This looks like something a federal agency would hand out.
Kenny Malone 1:24
100%. But this is custom made for only very special Planet Money book buyers. And it is the laws of the office. It's the laws that you're about to hear in this episode, but put into a useful water cooler-like safety poster. And you can point to your colleagues obnoxiously when you're like, you know, you're really, really doing Parkinson's law right now or really good arts law going on over there. What do you think?
Sarah Gonzalez 1:47
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is like wash the dishes in the communal sink post sticky note version. Yes. It's like a version of that. So like don't don't be that employee. Don't be that co-worker.
Kenny Malone 2:00
Yes. And all of these particular laws, as you will hear, have some kind of economic backing to them. That's what today's episode is about. But the important information here is this is a special edition poster only available, limited edition, only for people who pre-order the Planet Money book. And the way that you do that is you go to planetmoneybook.com. And if you miss the link, don't worry. We will say it plenty more times. Okay. So here's the episode that inspired the poster that you can get when you pre-order the Planet Money book.
Sarah Gonzalez 2:30
I'm excited to hear it.
Kenny Malone 2:31
It's good. It was good. It was very fun. Here you go. Here's the episode. This is Planet Money from NPR. Sarah, did you look up the thing?
Sarah Gonzalez 2:44
I looked up the thing. The statute of limitations in Pennsylvania for misdemeanors is two years.
Kenny Malone 2:51
Two years. That's it?
Sarah Gonzalez 2:53
Yeah. So can you tell us the story?
Kenny Malone 2:55
Okay, yeah. But let us not do it here. Let us do it here.
Sarah Gonzalez 2:59
Kenny Malone has brought us to a drugstore that has a self-checkout.
Kenny Malone 3:03
I used to be a cashier at a grocery store when I was about 16 years old.

What is the Peter Principle and how does it affect workplace dynamics?

Kenny Malone 3:08
You have no idea, dude. I looked like I was 11 years old at that age.
Sarah Gonzalez 3:12
Oh, I can see that. I can picture it.
Kenny Malone 3:13
It was bad. So one day I learned that my managers have started to keep track of the performance of all of the cashiers.
Sarah Gonzalez 3:20
Like how friendly you are to the customers?
Kenny Malone 3:22
No, no, no, no, no. They were measuring our like items scanned per minute. And then I believe they were posting those for the other cashiers to see. Okay. So I'm a little competitive. I'm also a goody two shoes. And I'm like, I gotta be faster. I gotta be faster. I gotta get my bosses these numbers. And then... I get this item that won't scan.
Sarah Gonzalez 3:39
Oh, like cilantro. Cilantro never scans at the grocery store.
Kenny Malone 3:43
There wasn't a ton of cilantro in rural Pennsylvania. I think it probably was like cat food. Cat food was weirdly hard to scan. The label got all torn up and crap. Anyway, I'm trying to scan this thing and all I can think is like, oh my God, my items per minute is plummeting, plummeting. And then finally I just let it go down the register, unscanned, and I grab the next item and I move on.

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