Show notes
In this episode, I respond to a question about a nine-year-old who presents as mature, responsible, and "put together," yet shows strong perfectionistic and people-pleasing tendencies in session. I unpack what is often happening beneath that polished exterior — faking good, fear of judgment, low self-esteem, and a deep resistance to vulnerability. When a child thrives in collaborative activities but withdraws during independent play, that often signals discomfort with ownership, mistakes, and being fully seen. I also address what it means when a child consistently rejects reflected feelings. In many cases, it's not that the reflection is wrong — it's that naming the emotion makes it real. For children who lack emotional vocabulary or have learned to suppress their internal experience, acknowledging feelings can feel threatening. I discuss how small enlargements, gentle juxtaposition, and patient adherence to the model help build self-trust, identity, and emotional awareness over time. Ultimately, this episode is a reminder to trust the process, recognize incongruence for what it is, and allow perfectionistic children the safety they need to gradually let their guard down. PlayTherapyNow.com is my HUB for everything I do! playtherapynow.com. Sign up for my email newsletter, stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice. If you click one link in these show notes, this is the one to click! Topical Playlists! All of the podcasts are now grouped into topical playlists on YouTube. Please go to https://www.youtube.com/kidcounselorbrenna/playlists to view them. If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: [email protected] Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315537948 Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.