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Chapter 1: How does Jack Sanborn rate on the bear scale?
bears it's time for how many bears now that jack sanborn is back with the bears how many bears does he get on my bears scale controversial decision here by the bear scale people and that's me and me he lost the bear how How many bears? How many bears does Dylan Thieneman get? Well, he does not get the automatic five bears because while he's close to Chicago, he is not from here.
I will give him three and a half bears to begin his career. How many bears?
Okay, Mark, what is your bears scale now that Manu said this?
Yeah, this is a little overwhelming, but you, sir, you, sir, You just got yourself 10 bears, sir.
You just got yourself 10 bears. This is a high watermark in my career.
How many bears? I said it was going to be controversial. On 104.3 The Score.
You know that man's music.
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Chapter 2: What rating does Dylan Thieneman receive on the bear scale?
Sometimes it gets mistaken for Anthony Rizzo's music. Sometimes it's the same music, but the point is this is Mark's. Steve Aoki, how many bears? I carry them in my notebook. Mark gave me eight and a half bears when I made it to 10 years in this city, and it is something that I carry around proudly. Proudly.
And what did I tell you during the break? It comes with a lot of responsibility to be given 8.5. Like what? Just act accordingly. You know what she does? You know what she does that is very strong? A lot of Juul. A lot of Juul in her life.
I do love the Juul.
Chapter 3: What factors influence the bear ratings given?
And for big days, the Juul taco dip.
Oh, yeah. And you live near a jewel, too.
I do. That's handy.
So just stuff like that, Marshall. I live near a jewel.
And I say the word Des Plains in relation to the jewels. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. We'll continue to... I love Aurelios.
Yeah, there's a lot of... Because every year it gets re-evaluated. You might lose a point.
Oh, no. Yeah, just like you did with Jack Sanborn unnecessarily.
Well, he could have been better.
So... If you heard the open, we said that Dylan Thieneman was originally awarded three bears, you said, for just being here, being a first round pick.
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Chapter 4: How does the history with Brian Urlacher affect bear ratings?
Let me get my girl Cheryl on the phone.
Thank you. Yeah. Cheryl Burton can judge that for us. That's inappropriate. Cheryl Burton. How many bears does Cheryl Burton get?
She's been here a long time, man. I mean, that's got to be like... And one of the last Honey Bears. Nine-ish. Yeah, Honey Bear. I mean, she has been rocking ABC7 forever. So I'll just off the top of my head, I'll give her nine bears here. I think she's going to end up with a higher score than that. Well, she could. She could.
We got a lot of really high bear anchors, I feel like, in town.
Absolutely.
Like Don Hosbrook, too. John deserves bears. The Honey Bear thing, though, man.
That is... You're right. That could... Let's just give her nine plus. How about that?
Love it. So that was just a warm-up. But when you see the Dylan Thienemann picture, and you put your bear's hat on, put your bear head on, how many bears does Dylan Thienemann and his family get?
I'm just going to my files here right now. Thienemann did get 3.5 bears initially. Keep in mind.
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of changing bear ratings?
That was the initial, the 8.5 for Layla. The first blush. Let me give you a little... This is what the judges, me, are discussing backstage right now, and that is that my history with Erlacher is... Brian Erlacher might be my favorite Bears player of all time, and I'm a kid of the 80s, so like... I lived through the 85 Bears, but love Erlacher.
He's the only player that prompted me to call the score one time before I was here. I was kind of here, but I was mostly working downstate. And it was like Erlacher's first year was a Bears-Vikings game, and I called Buffon an OB because I was just like, I want to talk about this guy. Is this guy for real? Talking about Brian Erlacher. So understand where my emotions are.
I've only had two Bears jerseys in my life. One was a 54 Urlacher. The other was a 35 Neil Anderson. So with all of that as the backdrop, and I'm looking at this beautiful photo of 54s, Dylan Thienemann has just gone from 3.5 Bears to 6.3 Bears. That's a big jump right there. Go Bears! Bears! Bears!
And he can continue, depending on the conversations that I have with him, hopefully in the locker room this year. That number can go up a couple interceptions here or there. It might help his cause as well. But 6.3 Bears.
Can we talk about how well his parents have aged?
The entire family.
It's a good-looking family. It's a good-looking football, Purdue, Oregon family. They're very Purdue. And Westfield. Shout-out to Westfield, Indiana.
Wait, that is a cat in the family photo.
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Chapter 6: How does Cheryl Burton's experience impact her bear rating?
That is a dog and a cat. I thought that was a tiny dog at first.
I didn't take the cat into consideration. 6.7 bears.
Yes!
Wait a minute. Is Dylan Thieneman a cat guy? I'm writing that down for me to find out.
It seems very grody to find out.
Because there's a dog, too, so he could be a dog guy. Or he could just be cats and dogs playing together. Imagine that. Yes, people, it's okay to like cats and dogs. Sometimes I feel like the society is not ready for that.
Bringing animals together and people to talk about the bears.
My goodness.
He might be up to seven.
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Chapter 7: What is the significance of Chicago-ness in bear ratings?
Oh, my goodness.
I do not like the orange Earl Acker uniform.
Why not?
I don't like the oranges. I don't like the Bears orange uniforms. I hate them, as a matter of fact.
I feel like the orange uniform got a little, like, cursed. I don't know that people love wearing it. You know, the players love wearing it.
But don't you love that they brought the photo with them? They're like, oh, we're going for Dylan's big press conference. Don't forget that photo. You know the one. So great.
It's so true. So I think based on our judges here and by judge, I mean me, we have time for another entry in how many bears. Number one, let's have a little intermission here. How many bears do you give our friends at Hattie B's authentic Nashville hot chicken? They sponsored the Ian Happ segment now.
And Marshall and I were just over here running our mouths being like, I got to try the collard greens. And Marshall's like, I want to try the pimento Mac. And they were like, we obviously want to try the chicken. They brought it all to us today.
The fact that they put it in the catering tins, too. It's one of the greatest food drops since I've been an employee.
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Chapter 8: How do food ratings compare to bear ratings?
Catering candles that's put under trays.
There's too many words. There's no way to know. There's a way to know. I'll find out by the time you're done with this story.
It's a reference to Pizza Friday.
There's no way to know. There's no way we could possibly look that up.
Let me tell you this. Hattie B's Authentic Nashville Hot Chicken, born in Nashville, breaded in Wrigleyville.
I can confirm that.
Now open right at 3649 North Clark Street, serving your favorite southern dishes. I'm talking pimento mac and cheese, collard greens, the chicken. Go classic with bone-in. Keep it easy with tenders. That's me. Pair it with one of their delicious pimento mac and cheeses, collard greens, or cheese grits. Don't worry.
You can choose your heat level ranging from sweet and smoky to all the heat you can handle. Download the Hattie B's Coup Club Rewards app to place your order today and earn rewards for the food you love. Yes, Marshall Harris.
The burner under a catering tray, which is what that is, is called chafing fuel or a chafing dish burner. I don't think so. I think it's a sterno.
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