Ep. #743: Andrew Huberman, Jonathan Swan, James Kirchick

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Real Time with Bill Maher 57 min 1 speaker 8 chapters transcribed
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What is the opening premise of the episode and who are the guests?

Unknown 0:00
Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night series, Real Time with Bill Maher.
Unknown 0:42
Thank you very much. Thank you for coming.
How you doing? Good.
Unknown 1:02
All right.
Bill Maher 1:02
Well, I can see you. Thank you. I can see you're very happy today. Yes, I agree. Great news. Trump is back on TV. Thank you. Did you see what happened this week? First, he got very mad at the president. He threw CNN, MSNL, and Politico out of the White House. And then all the other networks in solidarity, including Fox News. This is pretty interesting. In solidarity, he said, well, we're not going to cover him at all either. So no one was covering him. And then a judge saved Trump's ass from the worst fate he could have, which is not being covered. And made them go back... And now the press is back at the White House, and Trump is like, fine, First Amendment, whatever, you got me. Now get back in there and report on me so I can sue you.
Bill Maher 1:56
But they didn't really take this lying down at the White House. The White House has introduced a new app called Trump TV, which countries that are, shall we say, not democracies would call state TV. Really. So we have that now. State TV, our top stories tonight. Gas prices are down and Iran is begging for a deal.
Bill Maher 2:27
Speaking of state TV, a guy who does it really well, President Xi of China. He was here all week. Have you seen that? Oh, yes. He came in, landed on a big, beautiful new plane. Trump went out and gritted it. Is this for me?
Unknown 2:38
They,
Bill Maher 2:46
of course, had a big banquet. Xi didn't eat much. He was very full from eating our lunch.
Bill Maher 2:59
I don't know. This should have been the AI summit. Because here, finally, we had all in one room, the two most powerful leaders in the world with AI, Xi and Trump. Plus, at the dinner, Sam Altman, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Hung from NVIDIA, all these people. Tim Cook, head of Apple, sat next to China's first lady. Uh... She said to him, how's the iPhone business? He said, yeah, it's good. It'd be better if you could make the kids work faster.
Oh, I could, I could.
Bill Maher 3:38
But, you know, the problem with these summits with Trump and Xi, is it me or do they have them like every two weeks? I feel like they're always with each other. And Trump thinks that Xi could give a fuck about being his friend. So it's all personal. Trump did everything he could to show him around. He showed him the new spot where the limo drops people off. That's been improved. Really, I'm not making this up. Showed him the new helipad, the ballroom. Does he know that China builds, like, entire cities in a week? And... And he's showing him the new driveway... This is like showing Gordon Ramsay how to reheat pizza, you know? Oh. So, you know, it just seems like this administration is very into redecorating.
Bill Maher 4:35
Redecorating or annihilating. I've said it before. It's the most macho and the gayest administration ever. And the latest is... The latest redecoration obsession is Trump is like, we need an arch. Yesterday. Fuck, all the cities in the world have an arch. I didn't know that. Okay, yeah, great. I mean, you know, I could Paris, yes. Berlin, St. Louis. Okay, good. We're looking bad over here without an arch. Fucking Biden let us go archless for years. Luckily, my good friend President Xi is an understanding man. He accepts that we don't have an arch because to not have one is criminal. And if anybody knows about an arch criminal, it's Donald Trump. I kid. It's always with love that we kid. So that is our agenda here in America.
Bill Maher 5:37
Arch annihilate. He was at the UN, Trump, that the UN met this week, and he was there before the Xi thing, and he talked about annihilating Iran again, and then he met with Mondami. This is the third time he's met Mondami. Wow. Went over to Gracie Mansion. So that was his week. Xi, Mondami. For a guy who hates communists, he likes hanging out with them, I'll tell you that. But... The war in Iran is really dragging down his approval rating. I mean, he's even losing the people who used to be his, the bros. You know, the Latinos who voted for him in bigger numbers last time. There's only one demographic now that thinks the war is going well.

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