Chapter 1: What introductory themes are established in this podcast segment?
This is an ABC podcast.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, jet ski loons looking for a picnic to splash and fat tyre e-bike rodeo clowns creating untold mayhem on footpaths across the nation. Our great code stands on the precipice of international sporting greatness. So, with soul in the shorts, feeling in the feet, and joy in the jumper, it's time to bump, it's time to thump, it's time to sink the slipper.
Let's pull the cord on the Evon Road two-stroke and set off for the far horizon. It's another blast of bludgeoning on the blindside with the master of midfield mayhem rampaging Roy Slavin and the man with a fistful of bait and burly, Captain Flathead, HG Nelson.
Yes, KF Mike Cedric has been something. AO, a.k.a. The Drain, torching the blindside blue paper for another week. It's the sound of the familiar here on ABC Spot and ABC Local Radio with the Sumpster in action on the home of ABC Rapid. It's something new, something fresh in radio. It's just a great idea that allows you to watch television and listen to radio at the same time.
Now, hello Australia, HG Nelson lifting the lid on another magnificent week of consenting concussion magic. That's the only way to describe it, it's just been a wonderful week of belts to the head. And what a week, what an incredible week, a week when too much sport is barely enough, and guess what?
And I thought I'd never get to this point where I think this might be our fourth Super Saturday on the trot. Super Saturday, it's an overused term, but when you get a run of action like we've had over the last four, well, over the past month, it's absolutely appropriate. Super Saturday here on ABC Sport, and Aussies from start to stump, it's fully sick. It's fully sick.
And finally, bludgers, remember, this is the trip of a lifetime. I've upgraded it slightly because I think now people are getting the idea that this is a trip of a lifetime, so I've mentioned that. And so did the greatest game of all. Well, what a week.
The scores told one story, but the game is chock-a-block full of subplots and groaning with scenarios that threaten to run amok as the code heads for the hills, leaving us trailing behind. And I'm sure those very sober officials... in the House of Feathers, noting the epidemic of dropped shorts, which is making the code an X-rated must-see television spectacle.
And I believe this is just in time for the negotiating the new television rights deal. It hinges on everything. Obviously, new teams coming in, more exposure of buttock. They'll be down to shorts per game hitting the floor, all those sort of metrics. before they make a deal in terms of the cash and the number of matches on free-to-air television, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of Super Saturday in rugby league?
Now, it was another schooner of stout. That's a start of reality, and I'll have what Stick's having, if you don't mind, Barkeep, another schooner of reality. Speaking of beers all around, Fozball and the Sea Eagles gulped down a schooner of reality when they clashed in a close one with the Big Cats at Combank last Sunday. Churned Panthers 18, Fosters 16. Just almost did it. Almost did it.
Not quite enough. Speaking of records, which we weren't, but we can, Cowboy Jason Tamalolo... Broke the club record last night when the Eagles took on the Cows at Queensland Country Bank Stadium. The tune, well, the tune ended up being, oh, we've already referred to that. You've got the figures. You don't need any more information.
The record, incidentally, was held by Jonathan Thurston, but the baton was passed to Jason after playing his, wait for it, 295th game. Some record. So the baton is from one JT is passed to another JT. Interesting. Interesting. Just for those who keep those sort of stats. But. The biggest stat was the Titans couldn't get it done for Jason Tamalolo.
I thought, God, this is going to be a breeze for the cows, but it wasn't to be. They had to fight it to the very end and then lost, and they were celebrating a big milestone in the club's history. In passing, the Honkers dropped another match on Thursday night. The team marked heavily by the Galvin effect could only find a dozen while those big, lovable, friendly fish ran in 44.
The Dogs good up the middle. But outwise, there was so much space and so many points for the picker. AFL and the Whatley Royal Commission highlighted the unwanted interference from the score review committee, who have a passion for big noting themselves, interrupting the flow of the game. And according to the Royal Commissioner, this is his words, not mine.
He was commenting on the evidence tendered this week. Commissioner Whatley made these claims from the bench, that after the Crows v Power showdown that finished with a one-point win to Rankin's Rebels, the scoreline, well, they described it as the greatest showdown ever. Adelaide 11-10, Power 11-9. So the one point was there.
And according to the score review committee, has an addiction to meddling.
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Chapter 3: How do recent events impact the rugby league landscape?
Addiction to meddling. They get off on meddling. I find this hard to imagine. And they also, according to the commissioner, a compulsion to interfere. Again, his words, not mine. This is to do with an hour it took to decide that the ball that was kicked very high in a parabola over an erect goal post was actually a point or a goal. I don't want to go into it.
I know there's two schools of thought. It was either goal, depends on what colours you're wearing, it was either a goal or it was a point. But why take so long? It's an easy thing. You're either going to get it right or wrong. Just wear it.
When he went on to plead with the score review committee to trust goal umpires to make decisions for a change instead of demonstrating, that's the decision-making process, a fresh approach is because, let's face it, everything's wrong on television. If you slow it down in super slow motion, you'll never be able to see what's right or wrong.
So you might as well go back to the goal umpire and say, what did you think, umpie? F1, and after a week's break for the war, it was mayhem in Miami. Italian whiz kid, or wunderkind, if you like, Kimi Antonelli, got a Mother's Day box of bachis for the third time on the trot. But our Oscar, that's Oscar Piastri, the big O, waltzed into third spot on the final lap.
He's hoping to go two better in Canada, which is the next go-round in the fast cars category. which some of the older drivers don't want to go around in anymore because they can't drive them because the use of the electric, their hybrids and the use of the electric power just scares the shit out of them.
Athletics, and our golden age continues with the 4x400 metre men's relay team, which was shown the door at last year's World. They've rebounded as all right-thinking Aussies knew they would. I hope you were thinking that because that's what I was thinking.
Last weekend, the quartet of Van Rettigen, Holdo, Reynolds and Murphy crashed onto the podium in Botswana, recording the fourth fastest time in history for the event. Carting the time of 2.55.20, the awesome foursome broke the Australian record on the way. Well, as you'd expect, the fourth fastest time in history.
It's hard to imagine any quartet of Aussies doing that, say, around their home track. The crew have now set their sights firmly on LA-28. Incidentally, does this combo have a name to start the ball rolling? And this is, I'm just asking the questions here. I'm not making pronouncements here. But to start the search, the national search rolling, how about the McIverneys in homage to Bruce?
I mean, that's a start. I even thought at one stage last night that they should be called the Rooting Kings. in homage to, obviously, Lithgow's finest horse and record holder in Australia. You can look it up yourself online. I finally settled for the four duffs in homage to the great shamrock trainer, Reg Duff. It's got a nice ring to it, but over to you, blindsiders, see what you can do.
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of rugby league's evolving competition structure?
I think it might have been in Vegas. There was a backstage shuffle. Zoo said the 36-year-old fish refused to shake his hand, claiming he swerved. you know, and said as he swerved that Tim is not as good as his old man cost you. I mean, there's no respect, no respect in the ranks of this, I think it's the super whirlwind. Tim 31 aims to retire the goldfish next.
The date for the TIF is settled at July the 26th. I think Roy broke that news last week. The venue is the Gold Coast. I might have suggested in other media commitments there was TBA. It's not. It's settled on the Gold Coast. But, look, I love these backstage stinks as part of the build-up.
I mean, I wouldn't have known this bout was on except for the swerving and the bagging the old man and all that stuff. I love it. It's just great. You see, it's just there's one thing about punching people in the head, but there's other things about getting people into the house to look at you punching people in the head. Blindsided stand-back.
And let the Maury Hounds of Hustle, tax relief and on all greyhound bets, spot the lure as we welcome to ABC Sport and ABC Local Radio, a man who's passionate about Australian small business. And let's remind the nation that this cover is no dobber.
Before letting him off the leash to savage the rabbit, a reminder that the bludge is fully committed to telling Australian stories of marketing, promotion and sales success in this week of small business. Thanks very much, Trump. And the can't wait man is standing by to take us through it.
Obviously, this great Aussie contributes today on the condition of complete anonymity, so I won't give his name. Rampaging Roy Slavin. Can I get the bludgeoning bunny in motion? For another week, asking you what highlights caught your eye this week. 4K HD, large language model, machine learning, AI encrypted, bubble jammer. Yes, thank you very, very much, HG Nelson.
Of course, happy Rugby League, HG to you, and of course, happy Rugby League to your family. And happy Rugby League to all family values, decent, law-abiding, quiet, competent Aussies, doing the right thing, driving less and walking more. and who find pleasure in the simple things of life. Let's face it, there's nothing like a bit of a waddle about your suburb.
Just taking things in the way you can't if you're in a motor vehicle. And I would certainly endorse that. I think people should be walking more. Walking more and driving less. That's the future. Now, Aussie Cam Smith, this is golfing Cam Smith, of course, has given assurances that live golf has a certain future. I know there will be a lot of people.
relieved at that news, especially fans of the Ripper GC team made up, of course, all the bossies, you know, Leishman and Smiley, et cetera, of course, led by the great Cam Smith, and we wish them all the best. I'm not too sure what's happening with the Adelaide or the South Australian bid to own Liv. I've approached, obviously, the Malinowska's government. I haven't heard anything...
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of the Danica shower technique?
And Brett would have given his team aā¦ Well, that'd be fun he has. I know, I know, I know. And Channel 9 won't allow it. Is that the suggestion? Channel 9 thought that if he should do anything, he should go on one of their comment show on rugby league. Now, you're going to test my knowledge of rugby league show. Like Freddie and the Eighth. Freddie and the Eighth. Yeah, you know it.
Something like that.
Okay.
Anyway, he says, now, right. Do you face the water or do you have your back to the water when showering? Fascinating topic. This came up on the Today Show. Out of nowhere, and not part of the segment, Danica's voice flowed through the TV set with the following reply. I sit in the shower. The cameras then crossed over to Danica and then Carl replied with, do you sit on a seat in the shower?
To which Danica replied with, no, I sit on the floor in the shower. Immediately my interest peaked. In Danica's shower technique, so I decided to have a shower and use the Danica sitting technique.
I found the Danica sitting technique to be peaceful and relaxing to the point I fell asleep and was woken by a repeated knocking on the bathroom door by my kids saying, hurry up, Dad, otherwise we'll be late for school. I encourage everyone to try the Danica showering technique and I'd just like to take this opportunity to say thanks, Danica, for introducing me to sitting on the floor technique.
That's Steve from Hornsby. Right. Well, I must say, I think it's Emma who's one of the sideline commentators for... for the rugby league. She thanked Danica twice the week before last. Isn't that great? And that was refreshing to hear.
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Chapter 6: How does the conversation shift to rugby league mascots?
Out of the blue? Out of the blue. Oh, well, after Danica had said something. Done something. She said, thanks, Danica. Thanks, Danica. Oh, by the way, thanks, Danica. Thanks, Danica. No, by the way, just thanks, Danica, and then moved on to whatever she was talking about. Fair enough. And that's the way it should work. But the boycott from the others, though, has...
He's being maintained, it would seem. It's piqued your interest. Anyway, thank you, Emma, for thanking Danica and thank you, Steve, from Hornsby for thanking Danica. This comes from Cam in Maipolonga in South Australia. Maiponga it might be. Maiponga.
With the recent talk of an easy-to-drink lager in the pipeline from the home of the Tigers' Leichhardt Oval, I believe the beverage should be dedicated to and bear the name of the Tigers' number one supporter, Laurie Nicholls. Ah, yes. Well, you'd have to explain Laurie Nicholls.
Who can forget Laurie prowling the touchline at Balmain Games, in particular at Leichhardt Oval, and shadowboxing to the adoring fans? Furthermore, we can introduce a nickel stout now that we are aware of the undeniable health benefits of this beverage. Because he always wore a singlet on the sidelines. He did. Look, I remember he toured once with the kangaroos, I want to say. Yeah.
And it was freezing, often is when you're playing it, you know. In winter. Northern witness. Yeah, witness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he'd be there on the sideline in his singlet jabbing away in the freezing cold. But it was... It was a different time. It was a different time. And that sort of act I don't think would get you arrested these days. It would. Yeah.
Well, certainly there'd be questions asked about your sanity, wouldn't there?
Yeah.
But can I just say that Laurie was just a great fan of rugby league. And loved it. And loved it. Yeah. In the same way as in the future, we might find it funny that people dressed up as Reggie the Rabbit. I don't mean to, you know, I'm not saying anything about Reggie the Rabbit there. I'm just making the observation that this Reggie the Rabbit fits now but may not fit in the future.
Yes.
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Chapter 7: What are the challenges facing the Perth Bears?
I think we called... I think we call him Foghorn for obvious reasons. Maloney won the comp with the Chooks. However, of great historical significance, back in 2016, he was Cronulla's dominant half, steering the Sharks around the paddock. Far be it from me to question our thoughts on the game, but I have to take, he has to take us to task on this point.
Maloney was rightly pointed out as being mouthy. Yes. To my great surprise, he was said as if this was somehow a negative trait. Aren't all the great little men mouthy? To me, a little man isn't doing his job if he isn't being mouthy. Alfie, Ricky, Tugger Coleman, all quick to give a gobful when needed. And who can forget the greatest of them all, Tommy Radonikis.
No half was able to verbally disintegrate a team like Tommy. The only time he would actually shut up was when he was chomping down on Johnny Gibbs's nose. New South Wales need a yappy little cattle dog like Jimmy Maloney to get amongst the squad, his presence, barking orders at training, nipping at the heels of players is just the thing to keep the team on the winning edge.
Well, there's a bit of truth to that, isn't there? There is some truth to that. Every team needs a foghorn out in the middle. That's true. And Reid Marnie is the foghorn. Well, I suppose he is. Coach Reynolds is probably the foghorn. Coach Reynolds, yes, Coach Reynolds. You need a barking halfback. You do. You do.
But all I would say, Sheldon, in response, is that when the game's over, just quieten down a bit. You know, you don't have to bark once the final whistle blows. Just shut up. So but Foghorn is still, you know, got the Foghorn going.
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Chapter 8: How can the Bears promote their team effectively?
Anyway, now this comes from Marina, Andrew and Archie in Katoomba, HG. They say, we feel the need to point out, and I'm sure you both agree, that the Storm's abysmal performance against the Rabbitohs last weekend could certainly be blamed on their badly designed Anzac round uniforms. They were terrible from memory.
All of the Storm players looked very uncomfortable in their jerseys, which were much too tight, kept riding up above their stomachs, so they had to keep pulling them down and adjusting them. All Also, the jerseys had a rather large white collar which kept flapping around and getting in the way, blocking the player's ability to see properly behind them.
My son noticed that the collars were so high that sometimes they seemed to be blocking the player's ears, most certainly interfering with their hearing as well as their visibility. Luttrell Mitchell seemed to enjoy his wardrobe malfunction, even picking up one player by the collar and moving him sideways. Look, the thing is... It's so true. When things go wrong, when clubs fall off the rails.
The whole thing. The whole thing comes apart, doesn't it? I mean, the storm. From the car park to the numbers on the board. Everything is going wrong. Yeah. Jumpers to special games, et cetera. It is sad. It is very sad. It's just a truism of rugby league. But it is a truism that when things go wrong, they can go very, very wrong. To wit. The Bulldogs. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Titans.
Titans, yeah, Titans, yeah. It's been going wrong. How long has the Titans been in the competition? Oh, that's an excellent question. Let's say 20 years. Well, things have been going wrong for 20 years, LMA. Yeah, it makes you think that maybe they shouldn't have a team there. Yeah, exactly. And move it. Now, this comes from Kevin Canberra.
He says, your recent discussion about Macquarie Point in response to the report from the bludge-roving reporter piqued my interest. Are you good? in particular the concept of combining AFL games at Macquarie Point with visits to Mona and Dark Mofo and the expectation of nude swimming. Just a question. Aren't you concerned that this will attract sickos and pervs?
Well, look, you always run the risk, don't you? Whatever you do in life. Whatever you do in life. See, I made a suggestion that the strength of the underpant in the short be tested. But I know what's going to happen. That's right.
Well, I know what's going to happen is people will turn up looking very respectable, probably a collar and tie, not a flamboyant tie, which is suggested on the Anzac jumper of the storm. But they'll come... Because they want to, and they'll make themselves available to do the job at curious times, you know. Oh, no, I'd rather have a pie in the stand, thanks.
No, I want to be down there on the sideline. So I can test their shorts. And have them a wicked day. Well, it's the same issue we have, HG, with the ongoing discussions vis-a-vis the celebration of rubber in George Street, you might recall. Yeah. Sydney Council, not terribly excited by the idea, but once the... Concept.
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