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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hello, everyone. HG Nelson here at the top of the show. And no surprises when I reveal the housekeeping note that the bludgers by round continues this week. But wait for it. And Dave Stein, our hardworking producer, has asked me to remind all listeners that unheard items of bludging on the blind side will be part of the next two hours. See if you can spot them.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to bump, it's time to thump, it's time to bludge. The best of bludging on the blind side.
One of the great stories is that we haven't been able to deal with is the sad news that John Hoppawattie is going to try really hard to avoid trouble after he was recently sentenced to intensive correction order saying, I don't have a temper unless somebody, some dickhead ticks me off. Now that's a description, a very, what would I call it? self-evaluating description of what he's like. Yeah.
If people, you know, behave like a dickhead in front of him, he tends to bash them.
Yeah, he does.
Now, he says... He does. What's an intensive correction order, HG?
How does that work? Do we know?
No.
Look, he's ordered to do 100 hours of community service. Now... Well, doing what? Yeah, exactly.
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Chapter 2: What is an intensive correction order and how does it work?
I'm a nice guy. Don't piss me off.
Yeah, but that's all right unless someone acts like a dickhead in front of you. Now, how do we get the message out? that if you see Hopper, just don't be a dickhead.
I think through programs like ours. Yes. Probably the only program in Australia talking about this problem, this issue. Can I come to a bigger problem, the corrective service community orders? If you were, say, a baker in, say, the northern beaches of Sydney. Yes. You know, and the court says, well, we could give you Mr Hoppawattie for a month or two. Would you like that?
You'd have to come to work at, say, four in the morning and do the croissants and then move on to the hot cross buns at this time of year.
Yeah, yeah.
Are you going to think, whoopee, Hopp is coming?
Well, I don't know. I don't know. I'd be interested to know how this intensive correction order works. I mean, what is he expected to do? He obviously can't drive there. He'd have to walk or get the bus. Ride a bike. We'll ride a bike.
But then he's open to breaking.
Then dickheads are going to get in the way.
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Chapter 3: What are the implications of John Hoppawattie’s driving record?
He can mow in an old-fashioned style, pushing the mower around.
Yeah, but then he's just going to attract dickheads who are going to see him there and say, why aren't you using the electric to drive on mower? Aren't you allowed to drive?
And then whack. Whack. All of a sudden he's back in court. Back in court. Yeah. Why did you assault that person? Well, he's a dickhead, you see. Is dickheadness an offence though? You know, remember when the Swans used to have no dickheads in their team?
Yes.
Was that a thing that you could actually test for at a university and quantify and say, well, this bloke wasn't.
Well, the magistrate would have a view on what constitutes dickheadery, wouldn't he? Well, he's decided. I mean, that would be Hopper's defence, wouldn't it be? I mean, his barrister's going to get up and say, well, look, my client was approached by a couple of dickheads, Your Worship. Oh, okay. Okay. Oh, well, fair enough. Well, listen, Hopper.
Have you got any vision of the dickheads? Yeah. Taking him. Well, no, but we've got a sound thing, a sound tape we recorded on our phone.
Where did you drive it, Hopper?
But I don't know if that constitutes dickheadery. See, it seems to me that Hopper's view of what dickheadery is might not absolutely mesh with community standards.
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Chapter 4: How can community service be effectively utilized?
But not hamburgers. Now, obviously, he was a former Canadian University's wrestling champion. He met Lawrence. Jack was? Jack was, yeah. The Hungry Jack guy? The Hungry Jack was. I had no idea. No, he was a mat man. You know, really, you know, powerful. Heavyweight, was he? Heavyweight. Would have been heavy without bulking up on the hamburgers.
Now, he met Lawrence in 2009 after a policeman, wait for it, this has got a great story too, policeman from Campbelltown PCYC came into his Sydney office and basically said there's a kid out at Campbelltown Wrestling, wrestling kid's 10 years older than him and he's beaten them. You're a former wrestler and you're rich. How about sponsoring him?
Isn't that – I didn't realise it worked like that. Wow. Just walk up and ask.
Okay. What a hero that policeman is.
The policeman – you're absolutely right.
I would assume that – Who's telling that story?
Well, I'm just hoping there's a plaque out of the PCYC.
That's a great feel-good story for, say, a current affair or something like that. What a great story that would be for them.
Now, in the old days, Channel 7 used to do a lot of those sort of stories, Connector. Remember, there was a great one where Shaq found, bought his shoes. I can remember that.
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Chapter 5: What historical context is provided about the figure of Beelzebub?
So what? He's been much maligned by history.
Much more aligned by history. Right. Wasn't there, I'm not sure where the devil comes from.
Where did the best bad press come from, though, HG, for Beelzebub?
Well, I think that at one point you had to remember, of course, the religion, as you were talking about before, had to invent things to draw people in. Oh, yes. So hell became something that you didn't want to get involved with, but you would avoid hell if you went to church. Yes. And then this, of course, began merchandising all sorts of things.
I suppose the genesis is you want ordered society, you want good behaviour.
Right. Now, what I was trying to get – don't get bogged down in the religious issues. What I was taken by was here I am, I'm watching a religious program when I should have been watching, you know, a celebration of my own religion.
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Chapter 6: How does the topic shift to the entertainment value of sports?
Ah, yes. Now, then it comes to the question of the 10-minute quarter.
Which would have been more entertaining, HG, seeing, say, the Richmond Tigers – Play Collingwood. Play Collingwood, winning by, say, 60 points going into the fourth quarter, Or this show on Satan, The Church of Satan, which was more enjoyable? Sadly. The Church of Satan.
I mean, Eddie's got a point, hasn't he? But then I thought the 10-minute halves and only two halves, I could watch both. Now, that's the thing that I think is the new thing that Eddie's trying to get to.
Okay. So you have a big screen, say, at the MCG.
Yeah.
With a show on afterwards.
Yeah.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of the Rugby League's origins discussed?
So what happens is you get the Veronica's out early, you get Guy Sebastian there. Sure. Seeing a couple of, you know, classics. Then you have the first quarter. The first quarter.
Then you go to the first part of. Satan the documentary. Yeah, the Church of Satan.
Whoa, that's entertainment, isn't it? The best of Bludging on the Blindside. Footy heads, the madcap monkey, and the big dough dingo are back, giving you even bigger bites of the cherry. Stay tuned for the hooter of hope on the rugby league's top cash outlets. Bludging on the Blindside.
Yes, welcome back to Bludgeoning on the Blind Side on ABC Local Radio and ABC Local Spot. Now, if you want to get involved with the show, text line 0467 920 222. That's 0467 920 222. Or the old style way, roynhg at abc.net.au. And the following people have Roy.
Yes, this comes from Jane HG. She doesn't say where she's from, doesn't matter. She says, happy Rugby League. In regards to the continuation of your Churchill Fellowship research into the origins of Rugby League in Asia Minor...
I'd like to draw your attention to the 7,000-year-old monuments known as mustatils, which is an Arabic word meaning rectangles, which have baffled archaeologists since attracting scientific attention in the late 1970s. They consist of two short platforms linked by low walls about half a metre high.
It seems to me that these large rectangular stadiums would be obvious evidence for the historical origins of rugby league. Low walls around the area would have served as some sort of seating for spectators, etc., etc. There are some 16,000 of these structures all over the Arabian Peninsula, suggesting the influence of that early form of the game was far more widespread than previously thought.
This could certainly have been the forerunner of the evidence you've already found in Turkey. and suggest that your research parameters could be extended. Look, this is all very, very interesting, and I'd suggest, Jane, you could approach the Churchill Fellowship people about following this up yourself.
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Chapter 8: How is the discussion about the enhanced games framed?
I have seen a couple of these mustatils in the past, and like Jane, it did cross my mind that there may be some... Connection. Connection with rugby league. Remember, though, that the Gobekli Tepe research that's been done at the moment... This is much older than these mustatils. 16,000, though. Oh, yeah, yeah, 16,000 of them, yeah, yeah.
But I've no doubt that once the game took off in Anatolia, it would have spread like wildfire throughout what we call now Saudi Arabia, that whole area, which at the time would have been a grassland. You know, very conducive to the playing of rugby league.
And you can imagine how it would have taken off with various, yeah, 16,000 of them, with some different diameters, sorry, different dimensions than others. So they were experimenting, obviously, to find the ideal configuration that we now have today. So that's interesting research.
Contribution. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So at this stage, it looks like that rugby league could possibly have begun in Anatolia around Gobekli Tepe and Karahan Tepe and then moved on to the Arabian area with those 16,000 mustatils. That's really fascinating.
Great use of the money for the children.
Yeah, yeah, indeed, indeed. JT has said this in HG. He says, no doubt early rugby league flourished in and around Gobekli Tepe 9,500 years ago. He agrees. No doubt domestic ox were employed to clear a level playing fields and transport players on away games, etc.
However, there is now compelling evidence, he says, that crude forms of early rugby league emerged on the Russian steppe after the last ice age, 11,500 years ago, predating the Gobekli Tepe site by 2,000 years. As glaciers retreated, they're left behind mile after mile, he says, of levelled herbaceous flowering meadows.
So it was almost inevitable that some sort of rugby league would have started there.
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