r/AITA I Received a Replica Doll of my Dead Baby
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Hey, I'm Ike Barinholtz. On my new show, Funny You Ask, trivia starts the conversation and then things immediately go off the rails. I ask a question. My guests think they know the answer. Sometimes they do. More often, they do not. And then, the conversation takes a turn. One trivia question turns into stories about career highs, painful bombs, and behind-the-scenes moments that probably should have remained private.
Why did the sister‑in‑law’s replica baby doll feel like a terrible gift?
You'll hear confidence, misplaced confidence, bold guesses, wrong answers, quick laughs, and the slow realization that maybe this was a bad idea to say out loud. If you like smart comedy, sharp conversations, and trivia that exists purely to melt people's brains, this is Funny You Ask with me, Ike Baranulz. Follow Funny You Ask with Ike Barinholtz on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Welcome to r slash am I the butthole, where OP's relative gives her a doll that resembles her recently deceased baby. Am I the butthole for telling my sister-in-law that the reborn baby she gave me was disturbing and inappropriate? I recently lost one of my twins. He was six months old. I don't really want to go into the details. but it's been extremely difficult for me and my husband. It hasn't even been two months, so I'm still very much grieving. Before this happened, my sister-in-law and I were actually really close. She loved my boys and was always around them, so I know she loved my son who passed away. I'm not questioning that. Yesterday, my husband's mom had a small birthday party at her house.
It was basically just immediate family, kids, grandkids, etc. At the party, my sister-in-law stood up and started talking about how we should hold our children close because you never know when the last time you'll get to hold them will be. In the middle of the speech, she handed me a reborn baby doll. The doll looked almost exactly like my baby. I mean, really looked like him. It wasn't a random baby doll. This was made to resemble him. And my sister-in-law even had one of the toenails painted because I used to paint one of their toenails to tell them apart. Like, what? She handed me the doll and basically said, so you can have both your babies. My flabbers were gasted. I took the doll in the moment because I didn't want to make a scene at their mom's birthday party, but I was extremely uncomfortable.
I pulled her aside and told her that I thought that what she did was weird and distasteful and that it really upset me. I asked her why she would give me something like that when my baby had literally just died. She got mad and started saying things like, You think I'm trying to be funny? You think I didn't love my nephew? She basically acted like I was accusing her of not caring about my son. She also said something along the lines of, Who do you think you are? We accepted you. That's not what I was saying at all. I know she loved my son. I know that she was trying to do something for me, but that doesn't change the fact that receiving a realistic doll that looks like my dead baby in front of my entire family during a speech about losing children was extremely upsetting to me.
I never took the doll home. I left it there. Now we're not speaking. I understand that everyone grieves differently, and maybe some people would find something like this comforting, but I personally found it disturbing and painful, especially considering how recent my son's death is. OP, you could not pay me to do what your sister-in-law did. Someone says, hey, r slash, here's $1,000. Go give this replica dead, oh gosh, even talking about it is really uncomfortable. Go give this replica baby to a grieving mother who just lost their child. Um, no thanks. Keep your $1,000. I'm not going to do that. That feels like an act of terrorism. I do suppose there's some percentage of mothers who would find this very sweet and comforting, but I would have to guess that's way less than 50%.
I think that to most moms, this feels cruel. Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for not wanting my in-laws to stay at our house anymore after overhearing my father-in-law complain that I was still in bed at 9.15?
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