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You're listening to the Savage Lovecast, Dan Savage's sex and relationship show for grown-ups. If you're under 18, get out of here, youngin'.
If you're stuck in a relationship quandary Or if you're looking for sexual harmony Well, there's nothing you can't ask On the Savage Lovecast
This week's intro goes out to my bye guys. I have a special holiday message for you. Something I want you to carry into 2025. Buck the fuck up you guys for fuck's sake. All right, let me back up. Let me explain. I got online on Christmas Eve for just a minute, a single minute. I am not addicted. Getting online doesn't mean what it used to.
I don't want to date myself here, but I'm old enough to remember when getting online meant leaving the room, sitting in front of a giant computer that took up most of your desk, and then this blasted from your computer speakers. And that announced to everyone in the house, announced to everyone in the fucking neighborhood, that you were getting online and probably about to masturbate.
Nowadays, getting online just means taking a quick peek at your phone while you're maybe standing in the kitchen waiting for the cream in the mixer to turn into whipped cream so you can serve it with dessert. So I don't have a problem. I just quickly glanced at a social media platform to pass the time while I was making whipped cream.
A social media platform I no longer post on, but where I do still lurk. And there I encountered discourse. A bunch of bi guys got online on Christmas Eve to complain about the women, the straight women, who won't date them because they're bi. And I was distracted. I got sucked into the discourse and overwhipped the cream and had to throw it away and start over. So maybe indeed I do have a problem.
Anyway, first I want to say, Hashtag not all bi guys, not all bi guys everywhere got online on Christmas Eve to complain about the straight women who won't date them. This very special, very niche New Year's Eve intro is going out to not all bi guys everywhere.
It's going out to the bi guys who I saw complaining about the straight women who won't date them on a social media platform on Christmas Eve. Guys, most men don't want to date other men and gay men. We do fine.
Lewis Oakley, a bisexual writer and activist in the UK, wrote a piece about this phenomena for The Independent a couple of years ago that got passed around on Christmas Eve, headlined, Why Don't Women Want to Date Bisexual Men? Oakley's piece has the stats. He brings the data. He cites and bemoans, quote, studies finding only 19% of women would date a bisexual man. Only 19%? That's bad?
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